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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Have just sent neighbour’s builder away

395 replies

Allthecoolusernamesaregone · 20/06/2022 14:35

Our neighbour said she was having work done and we agreed access and to have scaffolding in our garden. We knew it would be inconvenient, but the work was only due to take a few days.

We made sure paths etc were clear and the scaffolding was put up about 10 days before the work was due to start.

It makes access through our normal route very tight, and blocks the majority of light to the kitchen, but is about what we thought.

It’s worse at the moment due to a pre existing agreement to look after my friend’s rabbits, as their run takes up a lot of space, and I have to navigate a ‘squirrel style assault course’ to reach my washing line.

The building work didn’t start as planned, and we have now had the scaffolding up for one month. The Tesco delivery man can’t get his trolley through, so we meet in the garden ( yes, I know ‘first world’ problems!).

We didn’t know work would be starting today, but mid morning my dog
barked ( fortunately he was safely in the house). I saw that my back gate had been wedged open, and men were bringing things into the garden.

They knocked on the door to complain that there were some things stored close to one of the access areas. ( the access itself was clear). I have a postage stamp sized garden and with the scaffolding and the rabbit run I don’t really have anywhere else to move things. The one who was doing all the talking said something like ‘it’s on you if it gets ruined then’.

I asked him to make sure the gate was shut when they were not working in my garden due to my dog ( I will have to take him into the open plan front garden on a lead whilst they are working). He told me they weren’t going to be opening and shutting gates all the time.

I asked when they would be working and he said they would be here when they are here and it might be a day this week and then when they had time over a few weeks. He was almost aggressively vague.

I wasn’t happy, the scaffolding is already a pain, and over a period of a few weeks, with no prior notice, I can’t guarantee that no one will accidentally let the dog out not knowing they are there or have left the gate open.

The final straw came when he again banged on my door and demanded I move the rabbit run, which is about 18” away from the path, and not especially in the way. My husband is away and I couldn’t move it on my own even if I had space.

He said it was my garden and my responsibility to move stuff to give him access. He wanted to set up a cement mixer in that space, and plug it in in my garage. (The garage is normally kept locked.) He was very unpleasant.

I admit I lost my temper there. I told him I was pleased he realised it was my garden and as such I wanted him to remove himself and all of his stuff from it.

I have seen the mess sometimes left by mixing cement and if he had been reasonable I would probably have put up with it, but he was not, and he is not running it on my electricity.

He started ranting that he had a right to be there to get to next door’s job.

I told him that access had been granted with my permission and I was now withdrawing it, and he needed to leave.

He then said he was wasting his time dealing with a woman and wanted to speak to my husband.

At that stage I told him to Fuck off, and left saying I would be phoning the police.

I was on hold for 101 but was quite surprised to see him packing up his stuff and going!

My neighbour is at work and unaware of the confrontation. I have no idea how she will react.

OP posts:
SeasonFinale · 20/06/2022 19:32

The reality is even if the scaffolding overhangs your garden then they can access it by ladder from her side and there will be no need to access your garden at all.

Tonkerbea · 20/06/2022 19:34

You've handled this really well OP! So refreshing to read a thread where the poster isn't afraid to assert themselves.

You've been very accommodating of the works being done, I hope your neighbour is grateful.

MeridianB · 20/06/2022 19:52

SeasonFinale · 20/06/2022 19:32

The reality is even if the scaffolding overhangs your garden then they can access it by ladder from her side and there will be no need to access your garden at all.

I was wondering about this, too. It would be better all round.

Sandra1984 · 20/06/2022 19:56

BackToTheTop · 20/06/2022 15:42

I'd speak to the neighbour tonight and tell them what happened, then tell them they've got until the end of the week to remove the scaffolding and the builders no longer have permission to come into your garden other than taking down the scaffolding

THIS.

mellicauli · 20/06/2022 19:58

He really did everything in the Builder's Manual he could to annoy you. Entering your property without permission. No set schedule. Demanding you do things to accommodate his work. Taking your electricity, costing you money. Making a mess. A bit of casual sexism for good measure. And even threatening your pets. I am surprised he didn't start an inflammatory conversation about Trump or Brexit or immigration for good measure.

My suspicion is he is double booked for work. So he made trouble so he can blame you for not doing your neighbour's work. Maybe mention that interpretation to your neighbour. Let them direct their fury where it belongs.

Eloisedublin123 · 20/06/2022 20:05

Well done op great response!

ThisIsNotThePostYourLookingFor · 20/06/2022 20:07

Hopefully your neighbour is a decent person and tells him to shove his work. If you got the name of his company I would also be going online and giving a detailed review of his attitude

MarvelMrs · 20/06/2022 20:08

At this point I would be taking one before photos of your garden and garage and the scaffolding/side of your house. It could be needed if the work goes wrong or the builders decide to be vindictive.

Sunnierdays · 20/06/2022 20:14

What a cheeky git! You must have the patience of a saint as there’s no way I would allow scaffolding up in my garden for that long !

MadKittenWoman · 20/06/2022 20:16

I voted YANBU, but we need a diagram!

ImAvingOops · 20/06/2022 20:31

You were mad letting your neighbour put all her scaffolding up in your garden in the first place. Builders rarely do anything on time and scaffolders have been known to leave scaffolding up for ages. I never understand why people massively inconvenience themselves for something they get zero benefit from.
Well done on turfing the builder out, but in all honesty I'd be telling the neighbours to get the scaffolding out of your garden now!

DaisyRain543 · 20/06/2022 20:51

What a cheeky twat!! You did the right thing OP. I definitely would of kicked off, sounds like you handled it better than I would.

Kiplingsroad · 20/06/2022 21:14

It's annoying when you agree for a particular person to do a job and they subcontract (if that's what's happened here) because you pay the same but presumably they use someone less skilled/professional and pocket the difference.

annonymousse · 20/06/2022 21:30

Just a note that having scaffolding up can affect your house insurance as it's a security risk. We had some work done and DH wrote to the company after the work was finished and no sign of the scaffolding coming down to give them a deadline after which we would start charging and also if any breaking we would hold them responsible.

Inklingpot · 20/06/2022 21:35

It’s surprising that the arsey builder who is a sub-contractor (if I’ve understood correctly?) of the actual builder had the neighbour’s contact details yet didn’t tell the neighbour they were going to the site today and then went over the head of his employer to call the neighbour to slag off the OP? He sounds like something of a liability as an sub-contractor.

saraclara · 20/06/2022 21:37

I never understand why people massively inconvenience themselves for something they get zero benefit from.

Because maybe one day they might need a big favour from that neighbour?

NotTerfNorCis · 20/06/2022 21:41

Good for you! What a twonk he is.

NotTerfNorCis · 20/06/2022 21:46

I had a similar thing - well, not as bad. The neighbours, very reserved and polite people, were having an extension built. They asked if the builders could put some of their scaffolding in my garden. I agreed. As it happens, I have a rickety old conservatory attached to the house. The head builder decided he wanted the job of replacing it. He kept telling me it was about the fall down. He said he'd shown it to a building inspector who thought it was illegal. But even though he apparently thought the conservatory was about to collapse in a heap, he had his men tramping about on it for a couple of months, and hauling their heavy machinery on it too. He also partially attached it to the neighbours' new extension, which I never agreed to. The lesson there is, if you give builders an inch when they're doing a job for someone else, they'll take a mile or more because they don't care about you - you're not the customer.

ImAvingOops · 20/06/2022 21:47

Personally I'd not put myself through all this on the off chance that one day I might want a favour. OP may not even have the same neighbour by the time she wants the favour and the world is full of cf who would say no, even though she had their scaffolding up for months and the builders trashed her garden!
Better to restrict home improvements to things you can do from your own property and expect neighbours to do the same. The exception being emergency work.

DivorcedAndDelighted · 20/06/2022 21:49

Inklingpot · 20/06/2022 21:35

It’s surprising that the arsey builder who is a sub-contractor (if I’ve understood correctly?) of the actual builder had the neighbour’s contact details yet didn’t tell the neighbour they were going to the site today and then went over the head of his employer to call the neighbour to slag off the OP? He sounds like something of a liability as an sub-contractor.

Not surprising to me (family in construction) - a fairly common situation if Fred is struggling to complete Job A and Customer B is hassling him to start her job, Fred might ask Bert to start the job, give him the customer's number, and intend to take over after Bert had done the groundwork. Some builders are very reluctant to do this as it looks bad on them if the subcontractor isn't up to scratch. But I've had a very reputable firm let down by shoddy subcontractors when they had a staff shortage.

oakleaffy · 20/06/2022 21:55

@Allthecoolusernamesaregone I'm agog at his cheek!

Using YOUR garden for access?? completely unreasonable and the electricity and cement mixer ..Just NOPE!
Yanbu. At all.

expat101 · 20/06/2022 22:10

It’s unbelievable that in this day and age, people /men say they should speak with your husband instead! This sort of happened to me the other month on a lease block, owners told DH he should read everything I write…

I don’t know how you managed to restrain yourself OP considering the bigger picture for you as well…

but good job standing firm!

Somethingneedstochange · 20/06/2022 22:56

Cheeky fecker it's not you having the work done so why should you have to provide electricity. Also are the rabbits not bothered about all the noise? My rabbits get quite scared by loud noises.

Phobiaphobic · 20/06/2022 23:02

I gotta say, OP, despite the apology during the phone call, your neighbour really is taking the piss.

Leftbutcameback · 20/06/2022 23:18

Good point from a PP about taking photos to evidence any damage.

I (briefly) worked in construction litigation and we had quite a few instructions from relatively small jobs where there was no contract with the builder. Legal fees soon mounted up and they were a nightmare because nothing was written down.

Things like subbing can be dealt with in the contract. Always worth having a basic contract in place (not just the quote which isn't sufficient).

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