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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Have just sent neighbour’s builder away

395 replies

Allthecoolusernamesaregone · 20/06/2022 14:35

Our neighbour said she was having work done and we agreed access and to have scaffolding in our garden. We knew it would be inconvenient, but the work was only due to take a few days.

We made sure paths etc were clear and the scaffolding was put up about 10 days before the work was due to start.

It makes access through our normal route very tight, and blocks the majority of light to the kitchen, but is about what we thought.

It’s worse at the moment due to a pre existing agreement to look after my friend’s rabbits, as their run takes up a lot of space, and I have to navigate a ‘squirrel style assault course’ to reach my washing line.

The building work didn’t start as planned, and we have now had the scaffolding up for one month. The Tesco delivery man can’t get his trolley through, so we meet in the garden ( yes, I know ‘first world’ problems!).

We didn’t know work would be starting today, but mid morning my dog
barked ( fortunately he was safely in the house). I saw that my back gate had been wedged open, and men were bringing things into the garden.

They knocked on the door to complain that there were some things stored close to one of the access areas. ( the access itself was clear). I have a postage stamp sized garden and with the scaffolding and the rabbit run I don’t really have anywhere else to move things. The one who was doing all the talking said something like ‘it’s on you if it gets ruined then’.

I asked him to make sure the gate was shut when they were not working in my garden due to my dog ( I will have to take him into the open plan front garden on a lead whilst they are working). He told me they weren’t going to be opening and shutting gates all the time.

I asked when they would be working and he said they would be here when they are here and it might be a day this week and then when they had time over a few weeks. He was almost aggressively vague.

I wasn’t happy, the scaffolding is already a pain, and over a period of a few weeks, with no prior notice, I can’t guarantee that no one will accidentally let the dog out not knowing they are there or have left the gate open.

The final straw came when he again banged on my door and demanded I move the rabbit run, which is about 18” away from the path, and not especially in the way. My husband is away and I couldn’t move it on my own even if I had space.

He said it was my garden and my responsibility to move stuff to give him access. He wanted to set up a cement mixer in that space, and plug it in in my garage. (The garage is normally kept locked.) He was very unpleasant.

I admit I lost my temper there. I told him I was pleased he realised it was my garden and as such I wanted him to remove himself and all of his stuff from it.

I have seen the mess sometimes left by mixing cement and if he had been reasonable I would probably have put up with it, but he was not, and he is not running it on my electricity.

He started ranting that he had a right to be there to get to next door’s job.

I told him that access had been granted with my permission and I was now withdrawing it, and he needed to leave.

He then said he was wasting his time dealing with a woman and wanted to speak to my husband.

At that stage I told him to Fuck off, and left saying I would be phoning the police.

I was on hold for 101 but was quite surprised to see him packing up his stuff and going!

My neighbour is at work and unaware of the confrontation. I have no idea how she will react.

OP posts:
angela99999 · 21/06/2022 18:17

You agreed to scaffolding, not to people ruining your garden, using a concrete mixer and leaving your gate open all day.
I've not read all the posts but I think he was most unreasonable.

Lizzy53 · 21/06/2022 18:19

What an rs he was.I would have phoned him to say that if the scaffolding is not removed ASAP you will offer it to local SCRAP MERCHANT

Fudgemonkeys · 21/06/2022 18:22

Good for you standing up to a bully! 👏 cheeky f**r.

Gendercritic · 21/06/2022 18:26

YANBU and I would explain to your neighbour exactly as you explained here. If I was having the work done and my neighbour had kindly given access I would be horrified if they had been spoken to/treated like that. They either need to sort it out with the builder to your satisfaction or they need to terminate the contract and find another builder who has more respect for you. Obviously, that is a massive problem for them but it's not your responsibility. Well done for the way you handled it as well!

Gally123 · 21/06/2022 18:34

workmen only have right of access for emergency work, if it is planned they need to ask permission - as they did - and you can grant if you want to. However, if the work does become an emergency repair you have no choice about granting access. However, I do not think that includes using your electricity for cement mixer etc. You need to speak to neighbour to find out what she actually told him he had permission to do.

BedsideTaylor · 21/06/2022 18:56

How did NDN think he was going to operate his mixer if she wasn’t home?

Musti · 21/06/2022 18:57

I don’t care if he apologises, no way would I have him back in my garden. He will have to find a way around it

ReformedWaywardTeen · 21/06/2022 18:57

I swear this could be my old neighbor and their builder

We lived two doors now. You'd think that would mean it's all good then. Nope. Their building encroached on us and the neighbors on the other side of them.

This couple were ignorant and in the years we lived there they had never said so much as hello until they were after using the side access through our garden to drive stuff and drop materials off.

We had a gate too but to keep my 7 and 5 year in the garden and off a very busy road.

I gave grudging permission as we only rented and I guessed if we said no she would bitch to our landlord.

First day of work- builder manages to scratch our car at the time, then denied it was him despite me seeing him do it.

Second day, gate left open for hours with no one there doing anything. Asked politely again for them not to do this.
Third day, gate again and then, they hit my shed, smashing the window. "Not us" says main builder.
The final straw was when I heard and almighty bang and they had managed to knock down a wall at the back, nowhere near where they had asked for access. It flattered my kids swing set, luckily neither child was there at the time

I went out and said enough, you've damaged our car, our shed, a wall and a swing set. I'd continuously asked about the gate being shut and was ignored. I had also had demands to use my bathroom and tap and one cheeky Sod asked me if there was a chance of a cuppa.

Wasn't even my work being done!

I gave them 1 hour to remove their stuff. Main guy says not up to me his contract is with neighbor.

Neighbor comes round "why am I being awkward, why am I "moaning and whining". Am I jealous of her extension?

I slammed the door on her. I then padlocked the gate and put a no trespassing sign up.

I sent an email to building regs at the council who came out, saw the damage and told the neighbor and the contractor to pay for it all which eventually they did.

They no longer used my access and she bitched to other neighbors about how bad if was as it was dusty and dirty. Tough!

It's probably good I gave them the marching orders. The other side neighbour ended up with a scaffolding pole through her bathroom window, could've killed someone. They "dropped it" apparently. She revoked permission after that to host the scaffolding.

Stand your ground OP. They're disgraceful and do consider giving building regs a call they're very helpful.

Abitscattymum · 21/06/2022 18:58

Absolutely not unreasonable at all! What an absolutely c@&t
you dealt with that well and no way would I want them on my property again. The fact that you were so patient anyway speaks volumes. Well done you! I would also be blasting them all over social media too and make sure everyone knows what kind of a builder this guy is!! Won’t talk to a woman……fuck right off! I would have probably thrown something at him at that point!

lcl · 21/06/2022 18:58

Did you sign a party wall agreement?

fetchacloth · 21/06/2022 19:00

LittlestBaoBun · 20/06/2022 14:39

He's an entitled misogynistic cunt. Well done for seeing him off.

Couldn't agree more. The arrogance of that guy earned him a Foxtrot Oscar.

Redshell1976 · 21/06/2022 19:01

You have been a saint, I would have gone crazy weeks ago when the scaffolding wasn’t taken down exactly after the number of day they said it would be up. Doing a favour for a neighbour shouldn’t result in you being hugely inconvenienced and you shouldn’t have to put up with rude men with anger management issues. My boot would have been right up his a**e the minute he said he wouldn’t deal with a woman.

Solonge · 21/06/2022 19:02

Bloody laughed my arse off….speak to your husband indeed! Good for you. I had a plumber once…put in a bathroom and when I checked the basin had been placed in the Corian at a slant….I said that’s not ok…you need to do it again….he said huh..I will speak to your husband! He was also told to fuck off! You were absolutely reasonable…cheeky barstard.

cherish123 · 21/06/2022 19:02

Well done you.
You have been VERY accommodating.

YellowSticker · 21/06/2022 19:03

Well done. We gave access to our walkway when our neighbour was having work done. The workers broke a down pipe. ‘Oh no it wasn’t us’
oh yes it was!!
I’d never ever give any neighbour access again.
Very well done you.

SpangleSparkle · 21/06/2022 19:03

Theres no way that man would be allowed back in my property even if he apologises, the way he treated you was disgusting. I would be putting locks on the gate and garage to keep him out to ensure he can’t get in.

lifewithelenakatrina · 21/06/2022 19:09

Wow! Good for you! I let our builder intimidate us because I was suffering from PTSD and had a 11 month old I was trying to look after. Never again.
not even your builder.
given the fact you have already agreed to let them have access your neighbour knows you are a reasonable and good neighbour so I’m sure they will know it must have been a lot to push you over the edge.
not at all unreasonable in the slightest!
never seen a higher score on here either 🙌 (2% clearly misspressed their choice)

Bobbylong1988 · 21/06/2022 19:10

I have to say you done well for putting him in his place , we had similar issue years back where the builder and my next door neighbour started a fight . I was around 30 and had to tell both of them to go and separate . I was utterly kind blown , my builder then refused to finish the work ( he had to cross through her garden ) and I was just done . The guy was rude and if my neighbour would of wanted him gone I would of done it . Luckily for me she agreed to let them finish the rendering . Felt still so angry , was a big mess all toghter .

you done well I hope your neighbour appreciates what you put up with for her .

Mumof3PrettyBoys · 21/06/2022 19:23

You did great op! How dare he even consider using your electricity .. was the plan to reimburse you for the cost of his mixer? I think not so in that case and with his bad attitude, you were 100% spot on to tell him to fuck right off!! Well done, your husband will be proud of the way you stuck up for yourself and YOUR property!

TheBiologyStupid · 21/06/2022 19:29

I'm struggling to think what the work is that requires so much access from your garden. We're mid terrace and had a small extension across the entire rear of our (very modest) property and it didn't inconvenience our neighbours this much. Only a ground floor extension, though.

Jonny690 · 21/06/2022 19:32

I dont know what work is being done, and it may fall within the realms of The Party Wall Act. Have a look at the Party wall act, or PM me if you like.

TheBiologyStupid · 21/06/2022 19:32

Oops, meant to add that you are not being unreasonable - and well done for standing your ground with that confrontational idiot.

TheBiologyStupid · 21/06/2022 19:45

If your neighbour thinks you're being unreasonable make sure to show her this thread!

YanTanTetheraPetheraPimp · 21/06/2022 19:46

Scaffolders around here openly admit they don’t remove scaffolding promptly because it saves on storage and they just move it to the next job. My neighbours dismantled the scaffolding that had been around their house for 3 months after the work finished and told the company (who’d ignored them up to that point) that it was on eBay. Oddly it was collected within a few hours.

NottheBFFithoughtiwas · 21/06/2022 20:15

He'd have gotten more than that had it been me. But well done you for putting foot down and chasing him. Hopefully your neighbour will see your side and back you up. You allowed access through your garden not giving full permission for him to set up a builders yard in your garden. And as for the thinking he can use your garage for electricity!!!! FUMING!! He is being paid to work for neighbour as a client not to abuse the clients neighbour!! Cheeky a*sehole he is. 😡