AIBU to make an official complaint about cashier telling me to lose weight?

[LMCOA]

On Saturday, I needed to return some jeans to my local well-known supermarket, as they were too small.

I smiled, handed them over to the cashier and said "Could I please have a refund on these, unfortunately they don't fit".

She took them, laughed and said "You should lose weight then."

I kind of giggled in embarrassment, and got away as quickly as I could. I was very, VERY upset and had an awful weekend. I have BPD so I don't know if my reaction was a normal one, because I don't always have 'normal' reactions.

I'm 42, size 20, struggling with an autoimmune issue (which the doctors can't pin down) and menopausal. I am TRYING to lose weight but it's just not happening at the moment. Her comment broke me.

My friends are encouraging me to make a formal complaint.

What do you lot think?

Please complain.
absolutely unacceptable behaviour.

Sorry you has this shit to put up
with, OP.

Just a thought, but I can not imagine a single supermarket where the staff would deliberately say something vile directly to a customer. I hope you are not projecting your own issues, and potentially getting someone sacked in today's economy, in error?

Yes, I'm not sure I follow that logic either.

@PurpleButterflyWings But it doesn't matter what shop it is? The fact still stands that the cashier was rude!

"Why are you pretending that a retail worker saying to a customer 'you should lose weight' is a fine and unremarkable thing?"

She didn't say it on its own. It was in reply to 'my trousers don't fit'. Context is important.
Did OP say the trousers were too small though, could have been too large I suppose.

It's not about the supermarket. It's about the individual employee.

I would 100% complain!
That's awful she said that to you!!

The context doesn't matter in the slightest. There is no situation in which it's appropriate for a retail worker to say to a customer "you should lose weight". None whatsoever.

Thank you to the majority of you who have been wonderfully kind and supportive - you're all amazing.

I'm a size 20 too. I can see how you would take that badly but I'd think they'd attempted to make a friendly joke that sounded better in their head than out loud. And in my case, they would have been right. I do need to lose weight. So i personally wouldn't have been offended. But customer services is about dealing with people with have varying sensitivities so if it makes you feel better, complain, but I don't think you'll ever know what happens, if anything, to the employee.

Or maybe it's tone sure it doesn't happen to someone else?

Your formal complaint will help nobody.
Help yourself in regulating your emotions.
As if you are already bad at self-regulation, complaining may just be the tip of the iceberg

Hi OP, firstly you are absolutely right to make a complaint. This person is a c word of the highest order - she must be really pathetic to make a low blow joke like that! Vile woman.

The word is cunt, saying "c word" is almost as annoying as the people who write things like f*cked instead of fucked.

Wtf is wrong with you?

The cashier was unbelievably rude. She needs to be disciplined and taught how to speak to people. OP would be absolutely right to complain.

I would suggest they train their staff again rather than fire them.
My God l would be mortified if someone said this to me even if it was a joke. Not funny.

How is telling someone they need to lose weight ever a joke? Some of the replies on here are nuts.

It might help the shop assistant to regulate her responses and provide a better service.

You seem ever so clever so I'm surprised that didn't occur to you.

Unless the staff member has SEN them what they said is a sackable offensive IMO. Commenting on son bodies weight, that might well be down to a medical condition, I’d discriminatory.

If there was backstory where op had provoked the employee into a rude (but not discriminatory) response then maybe your get over yourself comment would be acceptable. But that’s not the case.

Too many typos sorry 🤷‍♀️

I would definitely make a complaint. Perhaps you will only get a generic apology if there's no proof either way - or perhaps the staff member had an 'oh shit that came out wrong' moment as soon as you'd walked away, and will admit she said it, or perhaps she's said other things and received other complaints - a one-off might be brushed under the carpet but if you're the 4th or 5th person to make a complaint about the same staff member it's a lot more believable. It's very unlikely that she will be fired but even if she denies everything it will hopefully make her think before she speaks next time.
Also no idea why some odd poster is demanding you reveal the exact shop, or what they hope that would achieve...!

I would complain.
No-one has the right to say anything about your weight unless you've prompted it in a conversation - 'the jeans are too small.
It's just so hard to lose weight!' 'Oh, I know what you mean it's a nightmare isn't it?'
As for @hamstersarse comment about obese people and 'why all the sensitivity'...my friend developed ME a few years ago. Before that she was a gym fanatic and a size 10 for all her adult life. She's now a size 18, is on medication that causes her to balloon and has no energy to exercise. If someone said this to her I'd hate to think how she would feel - she's been to hell and back, has been suicidal and no-one has the right to comment on her weight.

Email a letter of complaint. I wouldn't go into the disciplinary action. I'd say something like 'I realise it is my word against hers but if she is saying similar things on other occasions she may need to be reminded that customer service needs tact. Something she appears to be sadly lacking.' And leave it at that.

This is fab, thank you!
I feel so sorry for your friend, and I sympathise, as my medications are making it impossible to lose weight.

That poster is implying that I'm making up the whole thing. Like.. why would I?

Sad really that people can be so nasty, especially given that I explained that I have a serious MH condition. Hopefully they wouldn't such tw* in real life.

How old was she op?