AIBU to make an official complaint about cashier telling me to lose weight?

[LMCOA]

On Saturday, I needed to return some jeans to my local well-known supermarket, as they were too small.

I smiled, handed them over to the cashier and said "Could I please have a refund on these, unfortunately they don't fit".

She took them, laughed and said "You should lose weight then."

I kind of giggled in embarrassment, and got away as quickly as I could. I was very, VERY upset and had an awful weekend. I have BPD so I don't know if my reaction was a normal one, because I don't always have 'normal' reactions.

I'm 42, size 20, struggling with an autoimmune issue (which the doctors can't pin down) and menopausal. I am TRYING to lose weight but it's just not happening at the moment. Her comment broke me.

My friends are encouraging me to make a formal complaint.

What do you lot think?

Complain. At the least, she needs lots more customer facing training, possibly relegation to the back room!

That's not what the majority of people are saying.

The OP should of course complain but she needs to keep her expectations realistic.

She'll be very lucky to get anything other than the bog standard "We will endevour to refresh staff training...blah...blah"

No-one's getting disciplined or sacked without a witness.

Why are you not saying what shop this was @LMCOA ?

Tell us what shop it was.

Well yes of course they did because there was actual proof, which is exactly what the OP doesn't have

I wish I could say that was the case, but she was laughing.

Complain, if only to spare others the same or similar comments.

Wow - who pissed on your chips!

In large companies it's not just:
'did you do this?'
employee response 'no'
company 'Oh OK then case closed'
There would (should) be a full investigation and a decision made on balance of probabilities about whether or not the incident occurred. So there could have been another colleague in ear shot on that day working on the desk; they will be interviewed too. And like others say, previous reports or known behaviours of this person. So your complaint could have an outcome (disciplinary or just re-training/alternative role), but you won't be made aware of it.

I'm not prepared to do that at this stage.

That’s nasty, you should complain.

I don’t know why we even have to explain why something that doesn’t suit. Yes, they should know if the item is faulty, but apart from that as long as it’s unworn with tags and within the c.30 days then it should be no questions asked.

What do you need to prepare for?

Hi OP, firstly you are absolutely right to make a complaint. This person is a c word of the highest order - she must be really pathetic to make a low blow joke like that! Vile woman.

I did just want to say though, having worked in complaints before, that you are unlikely to hear the outcome of any disciplinary action. They are likely to keep it internal, which I know isn't helpful. Also, did anyone else witness the comment made? If nobody else heard it, be prepared for it to be her word against yours.

If she was my member of staff I'd tear her a new arsehole. But other organisations might not have the same internal policy! Hope you feel a little better soon

Why are you pretending that a retail worker saying to a customer 'you should lose weight' is a fine and unremarkable thing?
You don't seem very fine.

I think it was obviously a comment that was thoughtless and I wouldn't say it myself, but seriously, the majority of people are overweight/obese in this country - it is unremarkable to be overweight/obese, so why all the sensitivity? This wasn't someone just going up to a stranger, it was in the context of returning some clothing that was too small. There was a reason to make a comment, albeit insensitive.

You are right, I am not fine about all this deflecting of your own issues onto other people. Like I said, it is perfectly possible this comment could have turned into a perfectly pleasant and jokey exchange about trying to lose weight. But no.....let's complain and ask for a disciplinary.

We don't know anything about this worker - age, weight, own issues, etc etc. and it jus strikes me as a more nasty thing to do than the comment itself.

How rude of that cashier!

OP definitely complain.

I once complained about a bitchy bus driver who tried to pick a fight with me and even got in my face and told me to get off the bus. All because my prepaid ticket wasn't scanning and the issue was with the ticket reader on the bus!!
She made a massive scene and embarrassed me. I was so upset.

I got a response back from stagecoach saying she was terminated. It was all caught on camera thank goodness. In my situ that woman def shouldn't be working in front line customer service. YES it made me feel better cuz that woman was vile.

Not saying that in your situ the person should be terminated though, depends on what their "disciplinary" policy is.

Absolutely complain but I wouldn’t expect to hear anything back. What a bitch she was! As you say, for all she knows they were too big or the issue was with the length.

This is a lovely post, thank you! Sadly there wasn't anyone with her on the desk, though there were customers behind me. Won't ever see them again though!

Once again, I never said that the jeans were too small, I said that they didn't fit. That could have meant they were too big, too long, too short, could have been for someone else. There was no excuse for her comments.

The point about “what do you want from this”
is irrelevant.

The point is this person made a completely uncalled for and rude comment. Management should be aware so they can make sure this doesn’t happen to anyone else. These sort of comments can really affect peoples mental health.

Complain there could be CCTV or audio on that till.

No there wasn't, only my word for it.

I think you should complain. They won't tell you if they are taking any disaplinary action against the member of staff.

It's a supermarket, not the KGB.

They don't record conversations and keep them on file.

As has already been said, it's unlikely that action will be taken against the cashier, especially without witnesses. I would say her comment sounds like thoughtlessness, probably nothing more. If a general reminder was issued to sales staff about what is appropriate to say in chit chat to customers, it might make her (or another member of staff) think and avoid upsetting someone else in the future. You should definitely complain. It flags things up to management and, if there were a number of complaints about similar issues, then they would do something.

Wow!!!!

what a fucking bitch!!!! I would have felt exactly the same as you.

how dare she. I am angry for you.

complain. Explain in an email how it made you feel and the effect it has had on you.

cheeky bitch!!

take no notice of her @LMCOA

xxx

Or maybe this will the 3rd, 4th even 10th complaint about Sarah - therefore it will be believed. We cannot possibly know.