To approach this mum with this warning?

[swimmingwiththefishes]

Ok so I would NEVER normally approach a mum and 'point something out' BUT,

It's a hot day here (26 when I went to the park earlier) and I took the dog out for a walk in my local park. Took DS2 who's 6 months.

As I walked around the park and across some fields, there were two mums sat having a picnic of some sorts in the sun (no shade).

One of the mums obviously had a baby for a nap in the pram (I assume baby as bassinet attachment). To create some shade she had taken two muslins and draped them over the opening of the bassinet and clipped them with pram clips across the openings.

I'm pretty sure that this creates a hothouse type effect and can be quite dangerous. I actually had DS2 also napping and had a snuzshade draped over to stop the sunlight creeping in (black thin material with air holes to create shade but let the air flow).

I ummed and errd but decided I had to say something so really thought about the least offensive way to say it (I'm sure I could have found better!!).

Below is the convo. My friend thinks I was totally out of order to do this but I think I couldn't in good conscious not say anything

Me; gosh, it's soooo hot today isn't it? Nice to have some sun but poor little ones get so hot
Mum: oh yes, we're enjoying being able to get some sun!
Me: I'm not sure if it's helpful but I've found these snuzshade things really good as they let the air in so much more lightweight and breathable than muslins.
Mum: what do you mean?
Me: sorry, it's just I've read that muslins don't let the air through so can make babies hotter so I just thought I'd mention how great I've found this product as not sure if you're aware?
Mum: tell you what? Why don't you fuck right off and leave us the fuck alone
Me: ok, I'm literally trying to stop your child from overheating, that's all. Look it up.

I told my friend about the above convo and she said I probably came across as patronising and interfering. Yup, I probably did come across like that but that poor baby was probably roasting in there!

I'm sure I could have approached it better but WIBU?

You were very patronising. I don’t blame the other mum for swearing at you tbh

@SmartCarDriver God this is so boring now.

A quick Google will tell you the snoozeshade is still recommended by most mother and baby websites and when I bought it in 2019 the which article didn't even exist

I'm sorry I seem to have got under your skin for some reason despite accepting (for at least 3 hours now) that I shouldn't have taken the dog out and that the snoozeshade is also dangerous to use (and I won't use it again)

So how about you go to bed now? You might feel better after some sleep?

It’s not actually as big a danger as was being made out. The experiments with the temperature probe inside the pram were conducted under thick blankets. It’s thought that most prams have adequate ventilation already. As long as you don’t stick fleece blankets over the top with no airflow.
this article explains. And it’s from a manufacturer of a pram shade, too. www.snoozeshade.com/blogs/news/please-dont-be-scared-by-the-its-dangerous-to-cover-your-pram-story

Good no PA upper case!

You go to bed now, need to be up early to walk the dog?

Things change, so before you berate other mothers when you're no better, get your facts straight.

They must be laughing at you now, I'm awaiting a post saying

Sitting, minding our own business in the park, some woman comes over, all sickly sweet "nice weather", but you know you shouldn't drape muslin over a pram, whilst she's got a dog out when it's far to hot and some ridiculous shade thing that's every bit if not more dangerous than the muslin. WIBU to tell her to fuck off? Should she give me unsolicited advise?

I did the muslin thing with my son when he was a baby and didn't realise it was bad until years later when someone shared a Facebook post about it. I wish someone had said something to me then, would have saved me alot of guilt

Can’t help but wonder if any of the ladies sticking up for you are even religious?

Is that meant to be a joke?
Because it really isn't funny. Muslim and muslin are totally different words. What is funny about belittling Muslims?

@SmartCarDriver 🥱

@EmmelinaThanks for that. I guess I'm always skeptical of something insisting it's safe when trying to sell the product. I think I'll just try and keep DS in the shade and the hood up. Some fresh air always keeps him snoozing!

sorry I don’t think you’ve seen my previous reply to this thread

@ToughLover I think we're going to need some context for your question as I also assumed you were mocking muslin/Muslim which is clearly not ok

Sorry just reread your original post I have partially misread the post. I stand by saying you meant no harm however so I don’t believe there should be such anger thrown my way

Op what dog do you have?

To clear this up - tired busy mum, misread post and absolutely not mocking any religion. I am Jewish and I respect all faiths

Your other comment wasn't any better. Going om about religion being involved, which just looked like an attempt at mocking the muslin/muslim similarity but no one noticed so you've painted again trying to be more obvious about it.

So, what are you going on about? No religion involved.

I wish someone had told me about the snoozeshade earlier. I would have been very grateful if you had told me! Sorry about their response, people can get very defensive for no good reason.

At the end of the day OP was coming from a good place as she was only trying to save a baby from overheating. Despite the mum telling her to fuck off maybe it's made her think twice and an overheating/SIDS risk has been reduced as a result. That's pretty good, isn't it? Wouldn't any normal person want to try and keep a baby safe, whether unsolicited or not?

OP has appreciated she could have worded it better as it came across patronising/salesy, and has also accepted she shouldn't have been walking a dog in that heat. She's also now found out that the Snoozeshade isn't much safer, something which I didn't know either.

Why are people swooping down on her like vultures?

Good on you for having the guts to do the right thing 😊

You were basically in the right, OP, and you’ve done a good thing by posting this thread because it will no doubt have alerted some people who were unaware of the potential dangers of wrapping muslins tightly around the pram or pushchair.
So I think you should try to forget the woman’s rudeness. You did a good thing.

He's a beautiful Rhodesian ridgeback. We originally got him as a pal for our Labrador as he was friends dog who our lab knew but they were downsizing and didn't think it was fair to keep him- but said lab passed away very unexpectedly at the beginning of the year. I still get upset thinking about him-he was my first dog and will always have a special place in my heart

But younger DDog is doing so well. He walks to heel, doesn't pull on the lead and has a fantastic temperament. Different to our soppy lab and more energy but just as rewarding.

@Housenoob Thanks. Although this is my first AIBU bun fight where the vipers have got me...I feel like this is a sort of rite of passage somehow??

Had this been me, as a new mum, I would have welcomed the advice,

She was downright rude!

Patronising, condescending and wrong into the bargain - all while walking a dog in extreme It's very "I'm on my second baby so I KNOW EVERYTHING and you know nothing so obviously I need to tell you about my equally dangerous gimmick cause mine is better". Far too many people think they know best when they know fuck all.

...extreme heat*.

I think you were lovely to speak up for the baby but it did sound like an advert for a product lol The mum was beyond rude. You did a good deed and she rejected it! Don't let it stop you from speaking up.

The snooze shade is made from a air permeable mesh which actually allows air to flow freely through it - it also has incredibly high UV protection too.

www.snoozeshade.com/blogs/news/please-dont-be-scared-by-the-its-dangerous-to-cover-your-pram-story