What would you make of this message?

[Glittersparkle76]

My partner and I have been together on and off for nearly 10 years and we have a 9 year old daughter.He works away in hospitality and comes back to me and my daughter when he gets days off.I woke during the early hours and found this message he had sent,all lovely until I read the part when he said he had loved others more!,I thought WTAF??,why would you even need to say that to me?,are some things best left unsaid??.He's meant to be coming back late tonight for 3 days but now I feel like telling him to fuck off and don't bother!.Am I overreacting to this message?,I feel like I'm second,third or even fourth best now and don't think I will ever be able to get that comment out of my head.
Even if I felt in my past I had loved others more than I do him,I would never say that to him as I don't feel it needs to be said!.
I would love others opinions on this and how they would feel if their partner sent them this message.

52! I was thinking twenties.

It is very weird. Would you say he is a not exactly the brightest? He is comparing you to women who have dismissed his advances and saying he "loved" them more. Anyone with half a brain knows that this kind of obsession is not real love. You can't really love someone you've not had a relationship with, it's all in your head. Such an odd thing to vocalise.

I'm so sorry about your son, that is heartbreaking. I'm wondering if from the timeline he left you after your son was diagnosed. Or during treatment etc. Which would not be great.

If you wanted to tell us about your son here, you can, or not if you don't want to

Errrrm, all those emoji are enough to put me off him. He sounds like he was totally drunk or something!

I'm sorry for your loss. That sounds devastating and you have many understandable reasons to not want to move.

His message really sounds like he either meant to send it to someone else, or he has cheated and has a guilty conscience but also partly blames any cheating on you for not living where he works. That means he can feel less guilt.

I genuinely would feel hurt by the implications that he has loved others more and this relationship is him settling when he actually wants to sow his wild oats. In his 50s.

I hope he has a good nd honest explanation for this awful message and I hope you are ok OP.

Ew. He sounds awful. Have you discussed this with him?

I would think he was or had recently been unfaithful and this was a guilt text

😂

My initial thoughts were that English wasn't his first language, or that he was 17 years old, or that he was really drunk. It's very clumsily put together indeed. I think in the context of other things happening (so sorry about your son), if everything is good in your relationship, I'd file this under "drunken drivel" and move on.

Sorry, but he sounds like an arse!

Agree with the scam not someone you have been with for TEN years,

Sounds like he is admitting he is in love with someone else (either past or present) but its not recipocated so hes saying 'you'll do' and 'dont worry hes not leaving' (even though he would if she was interested) but you arent the person hes in love with.

Frankly it sounds like Id be saying 'fuck off' to him.

Ugggggghhhhh. That sounds like somebody feeling sorry for himself because he's not finding it so easy to get laid now he's getting on a bit and wants to make sure he's still got the Fallback woman onside. Or he's just been dumped.

Horrible person. And stupid, so very, very stupid.

I totally agree with the first sentence and the drinking question. I wouldn't necessarily disregard 10 years over one text message and I think he's really mixing up love and infatuation / lust.

He might be trying to say that he loves you without the ardour and obsession that comes with those first months. After ten years, no ones relationship is like month 2. I've been married for 25 years and in a relationship with the same person for 32 so I know this to be definitely true.

Self indulgent, illiterate and possibly cheating.
I’m sure you can do better.

You are both too old to be dealing with this juvenile shite! 🤦‍♀️

He's a drama llama, and immature. He contradicts himself, it is not even intelligible and all those emojis make him look about 14 and don't even say anything.

That looks like some weird incoherent thing people would share on facebook.

He has annoyed the bejesus out of me just from that message. What a load of twaddle, nobody got time for that. Bin. Next.

This.
He reads as a gobshite.

OP, so sorry to read your enormous loss.
How dreadful.

I wouldn't trust that illiterate text.
You definitely deserve better.

I am so sorry for your loss.

He sounds like a complete twerp.

I am not sure I could come back from this tbh, he is all over the place.

And your average 52 year old does not use this amount of weird emojis...

OP so sorry about your son. Your partner should not be pressuring you to leave your memories behind.

I'd feel like sending a stinky finger back too! That said, it's a drunk and discombobulated message and if it was totally out of character not on its own a reason to jettison the relationship. It sounds like there is more though. Good luck with the decisions ahead.

I’m so sorry @Glittersparkle76. To me it reads like he’s had his head turned but wants to make sure you know you’re the person he wants. He probably thinks he’s a proper knight in shining armour.

Im sorry for the loss of your son. I imagine most other shit pales into insignificance

I agree with @comeondover

It sounds to me like he wants you to dump him so he gets no blame.

No. Just...no.

He loves others more but they didn't want him, so you will do. That's not a nice thing to say to anyone, ever. Does he usually put you down over other stuf, ie that's great you painted but you missed a bit? Lawn looks lovely but the blades should have been higher? Those kind of things?

The thing I cant get over is the lips emoji. Thought only women used those?

Sounds like a lot of drunken ramblings, texting out loud.
have a serious chat when he’s back and sober.