To not understand why parents hate their kids getting tattoos

[lailamaria]

Obviously this applies to adult children but it's something i've come across a lot and never really understood it, is it because parents feel some sort of ownership over their kids bodies or is it something different.

This isn't a brag or anything but my mum's never been bothered, she has 2 tattoos herself with extremely sentimental meaning (although i think people should get tattoos whether their sentimental or not) and for my sister's 18th she even paid for her to get one as her birthday present.

I understand not liking tattoos on yourself but demanding your adult children don't get them or even talk them out of getting them I think is rather rude when their paying for them themselves with their own money. My aunt used to ask my cousin to cover hers up just because she hated it (it was a flower on her back so it wasn't like the tattoo was offensive.)

I'm not trying to judge truly I personally just find it strange

This went exactly as I expected. Mumsnet is so incredibly conservative.

How many decisions did any of us make at 18 that we'd make now?
They mostly look shit, and are cheap because what 18 year old has any money, and you're stuck with it forever - or more likely, buying into later laser surgery or additional tatt to cover up the first one. It announces your stupidity to the world, which is a bit embarrassing for the parents
As everyone has one these days, bare is cooler.

I don't really like tattoos, I can admire a well done one and recognise the skill involved in them. But they just do nothing for me. I'd definitely be sad if my kids got them though. It would be for entirely selfish reasons of me personally not liking them and I would do my best to hide my feelings and be happy for them obviously. But I can't change my feelings towards tattoos.

Most of them date horribly. Where do you see Tweety Pie now other than on the arms and shoulders of middle aged women? In ten years a blurry lion on the back of a hand will immediately indicate someone got a tattoo in the period 2017-2020. I have a better understanding of why people get anchors if they’ve been at sea, a regiment or family crest or Olympic Rings given they’re life-defining but less so a character, an animal or some words.

Because there are few things now people can spit and snarl at and not get poked for offending someone. Like smoking.

Personally I waited until my 40s before getting them. I care for them daily, protect them in the sun and love them. Why pay all that money for something you just ignore and let it fade away to shit?

Can't wait for my next one me

I'm SO glad my mum and dad talked me out of getting a tattoo aged 17-20. I really wanted a 'tramp stamp' on my lower back. I'm utterly relieved now that I didn't get it!

I think a lot of young people don't anticipate their skin or bodies changing with age, and they don't always choose designs that are meaningful or even nice/interesting.

I've seen some fabulous, gorgeous tattoos on older adults (30+), really artistic and beautiful. I've seen far more crappy Aztec nonsense, generic (and incorrect!) Chinese characters, and daft designs that have aged poorly.

Your body, your choice, but that comes with the choice to accept the consequences of your actions. Tattoo removal is really expensive, and can leave scars.

My DD has a few. I have never and would never say anything about it.

My DS doesn't have any.

I don't care for them. My kids have perfect skin. Much better than any tattoo.
The tattoos are seldom done well. They are all copies of others and cliche. They remind me of a mediocre artist coloring on people with a pen.

I really don't like tattoos.
My (almost all) adult DC know how I feel about them, but they also know that part of growing up is making different decisions to your family and standing by them. It wouldn't surprise me if a couple of them get tattoos at some point and I'll respect their autonomy.
Ear stretching though is nauseous. I'd struggle to hug someone with stretched earlobes, so that might impact our relationship. Thankfully none of them have done it.

Doesn't bother me but I have them myself. Ds1 has far more than me though.

I did have one when I was 21 that by the time I turned 40 was really dated though so I had it covered

FiveNineFive · Today 07:52
This went exactly as I expected. Mumsnet is so incredibly conservative.

But I don't think that is the reason that most people on here (or anywhere) are unenthusiastic about tattoos. They aren't edgy any more, are they? Lots of people I know have them. Once it was blokes in the merchant navy, but I'm used to seeing them on teachers and other very 'mainstream' people.

I think you have to accept that a lot of people just don't like them, plain and simple. For me it's the 'no going back' - I hate irreversible procedures/decisions.

Well OP they look awful in the first place and then even worse when the skin underneath goes old and saggy and the colour fades.
It shows pretty poor judgement too - tastes change, you wouldn't wear the same clothes for 50 years would you.
It also reduces your chances of getting a good job.

None of that disproves my comment

I love tattoos but when my eldest said he wanted to get them all over his body my first thought was all the fads over the years that he’d also thought he’d love forever. Bands he was obsessed with for a year but doesn’t listen to, cars he thought were 100% the perfect thing only to be sold when a new favourite came along.

None if his have sentimental meaning, they’re all traditional American style so he just gets whatever fits the gap. He was insistent he was getting them so I did pay for his first one as an 18th gift but would I prefer he didn’t have them? Honestly yes. I like the look of them but I know I’d be bored silly of looking at them if they were on my arms.

I’ve told him not to get his hands and neck done which he has agreed until he runs out of space elsewhere! He says the world of work isn’t the same anymore and that he’d never want a job where tattoos might stop him from getting it, but he’s fallen in to a very professional career accidentally and is now somewhat relieved that he listened to me!! 18 year olds are daft, that’s the trouble.

I have 2 but clothed you cannot see them. Ultimately I'd like them removed.
I think the sleeves, neck, facial, hand, and leg decorations look a bit shit men and women.

At least one can always tell the time by looking at the clock on the hand.😂

DS did a bit of modelling and accidentally hsowed me a photo of him with his chest vbare and a tattoo across it. He thought I would mind. I didn't. He has two tattoos on his arms too, which I also 'didn;t mind' about. But in truth, they are rubbish tattoos. I wish he'd waited and really thought about what he wants and researched good artists to do them. they look a bit like he did them himself.

I don't want my children to get tattoos because, for the most part, I think tattoos are ugly. Literally nothing to do with thinking I "own" my children's bodies. DS1 is, I believe, planning to have one.

obviously people can do what they like with their bodies, I certainly don't judge people for having them, but I dislike them. The same goes for excessive piercings.

each to their own though!

Mumsnet is so incredibly conservative.

tattoos are so mainstream now that this is such a ridiculous statement.

Mumsnet manages to have the vapours over many things that are incredibly mainstream

My mum has no tattoos and really dislikes them.
My dad had none either…until he came with me to get my first one at 17 (in a country where it’s legal at 17 with parental permission) and decided to get his first one at 46 at the same time. My mum was livid. There’s a great picture of her sitting in the waiting area with a face like thunder while me and my dad got them done 😂
move now got 12 tattoos - some very big and very visible, and my mum hates them all. She doesn’t give me too much shit about it nowadays, but every time I mention getting more or extended some existing ones, I get the “I don’t see why you do it” lecture 🤷🏻‍♀️

I have asked my children to wait until they are 25. So their brain is fully mature before doing so. I know so many who have regretted early tatoos and I'd rather not my children do that later on. If they want to go ahead I won't stop them.

Mumsnet manages to have the vapours over many things that are incredibly mainstream

no, people just like to write off differing opinions as "the vapours". It's rude.

I have never given it any thought so far because I've two teens who have not gone out and got tattoos. I'd say nothing because nothing you could say would undo the tattoo, it's there forever, and that's why it'd make me feel sad for them. They're going to end up regretting it. Well, depends on the family but in my family nobody has a tattoo. So I'd bet my ass that if my DD did get a tattoo she'd end up regretting it. I'm 52 and long before I became this old :-) I met people who regretted this tattoo or that tattoo. They weren't sobbing over it, or depressed about it, but there was a bit of matter of fact 'regret this' about it.

But @lailamaria why would you be getting annoyed about what other parents might feel in reaction to what their DC might do?! That seems a bit strange. Like traditionally tattoos were a symbol of rebellion but you want to make them like getting earrings, that nobody would ever judge / regret/ have surgically removed.

I don’t like them either-my DD had 2 small ones and at least she chose places they could be hidden ( this was a while back when going for job interviews a tattoo which was visible was a no no)
she so regrets them now.I never said a word-it’s her body but she knew my views beforehand anyway.
Went to a friends wedding recently and she has tattoos on legs arms and back.Her beautiful classic wedding dress was ruined by the look of her tattoos.

Same reasons people don't like boob jobs and lip fillers. Probably exacerbated by the fact that naff tattoos are as common as bad lip filler and look shit.

Generally I'd want my kids to be mature before they made the decision to physically alter themselves.

I have asked my children to wait until they are 25. So their brain is fully mature before doing so.

I know so many who have regretted early tatoos and I'd rather not my children do that later on.
If they want to go ahead and have a tatoo I won't try to stop them.
I have also insisted they do some heavy research for who to go to not just some random.

@underneaththeash

"It also reduces your chances of getting a good job."

What jobs that lots of people can get does it prevent? I've seen, doctors, nurses, teachers, SWs, solicitors (although they cover up for court), police, ambulance etc with tattoos. Two of my children have tattoos and have never been for a job interview that they didn't get.
Even a few members of the royal family have them now.