To not understand why parents hate their kids getting tattoos

[lailamaria]

Obviously this applies to adult children but it's something i've come across a lot and never really understood it, is it because parents feel some sort of ownership over their kids bodies or is it something different.

This isn't a brag or anything but my mum's never been bothered, she has 2 tattoos herself with extremely sentimental meaning (although i think people should get tattoos whether their sentimental or not) and for my sister's 18th she even paid for her to get one as her birthday present.

I understand not liking tattoos on yourself but demanding your adult children don't get them or even talk them out of getting them I think is rather rude when their paying for them themselves with their own money. My aunt used to ask my cousin to cover hers up just because she hated it (it was a flower on her back so it wasn't like the tattoo was offensive.)

I'm not trying to judge truly I personally just find it strange

OP for a minute I thought you might be one of my DD's as our situation is very similar! Except that I used to really be against their tattoos because obviously that lovely, smooth perfect skin I created shouldn't be spoiled with ink. Then I has a change of heart, got a couple myself and we got a "family" tattoo that is very special.

Only now I've gone full circle again because they keep on getting new ones and I just wish they would stop 😑 Not up to me though.

I am booked in for tattoo number 6 in the coming weeks.
As it stands, mine are all in places that can be hidden if I want to, but the upcoming one will be a bit trickier, though possible.

My dad asked me if I ever thought about how they would look when I'm old and saggy. I replied that old saggy bodies don't look good anyway, so what's the difference if they have ink on them or not.

My first one was 20 years ago, and i don't regret it, or any of mine.

If/when my kids want a tattoo, I'll encourage them to think carefully about placement, make sure it's not something that is just a current interest or fad, and remind them not to ever get a partners name tattooed, as that's just asking for trouble 😂

I know so many people who got tattoos as late teens early 20s and regret them in later in life. I would certainly be mentioning this to my children if they wanted to get one at this age but ultimately it would be their choice.

I think it would depend what it was and how big and how many.
Agree with the pebbledash analogy too. Piercings (mostly) and hair colours/radical styles can be temporary but it's the permanence of it, you can't change your mind

I think tattoos are quite addictive - most people I know who have them, haven't just got 1 or 2. And i dislike loads of tattoos (sorry just my opinion) But I guess I would get used to it, if my kids had them. DD is 15 and wants yo get (at least) one when she is old enough. All her older female cousins have them, although none of the boys do.

I'm going to encourage DD to be different from the crowd and rebellious.

By not getting any tattoos.

I wouldn't love my ds any the less if he got one but I'd be a bit sad. Aside from the permanence, they're mostly ugly and they're definitely cliched these days.

We've talked about it anyway (he's almost 19) and he doesn't want one. He thinks they're naff. His girlfriend has a couple and tried to persuade him to get one recently. Thankfully he knows his own mind and said no!

I am nearing 60 and don’t regret any of my tattoos and I pretty much have a full sleeve most of them classical memorable tattoos. One of my sons has a full sleeve and has started work on the other. Once that is done he will probably get more in other places. He works in a responsible job, earns good money and if he was wearing his work shirts you would never know they were there. My other son doesn’t have any tattoos nor want them. I don’t care what any other adult does with their own body.

A relative has a religious symbol tattoo on themselves, artistically done but in an attempt to be “edgy”. The reality is they look foolish in middle age and are exploiting the pain abused victims of that religion by piggybacking off it. It makes me a bit sick when I see the tattoo and reminds me they are a self involved waster. Maybe the tat is a good thing after all!

I’m very conflicted about tattoos. I respect anyone’s right to do whatever they want with their body and I never judge anyone by something they can’t help. But people choose those things, often at great expense, and I can’t understand why on earth anyone would! It’s not that they just look unattractive - plenty of things are just not to my taste, which is as it should be. I’m very boring and we should not be all the same. But I find tattoos positively repellent. Almost offensive. I don’t know why I have such a strong reaction to them, particularly on women (I know, I know. I’m trying not to judge, and I go out of my way to make sure I don’t treat people differently because if it, but I can’t help how I feel!!). They’re like huge, over the top costume jewellery. They almost never look good with anything, look loud and tasteless with most things and make a lot of very obvious statements about you and your taste. Exactly what you’d expect a teenager to choose, only they don’t come off for job interviews or your wedding, and is that likely to be want you to shout about yourself then? I read once that people wear jewellery to tell other people about themselves and I wonder if tattoos are like that in (almost literal!) large print. Only you will change and your tattoos won’t. They will always be there, yelling about whatever it was you thought was important enough to permanently change your body for. Anchoring you to something that it might be healthier to move on from. That you might want to move on from, one day, and they prevent it fading away. Even as a 44 year old adult there are few things I feel I would like to permanently and publicly display my attachment to like that.

I also think they can be very powerful and meaningful for people. But the very fact that they can be so emotional can mean that they are highly addictive and become a poor coping strategy indicative of not-ideal mental health. I’ve worked and lived with people who self harm, and there seem to me to be strong parallels between them and people’s reasons for having them. I think that’s what makes me so uncomfortable with, and a bit fascinated by, them.

So, yeah, I’d be appalled if my kid wanted one. I’d try to hide it, though. And probably the best way to stop her would be to tell her I thought it was cool and we could get one together. Rebellion is a fine and necessary thing. But it shouldn’t leave permanent marks, and learning that doing things because other people don’t want you to is a really poor reason for doing them is a lesson I would prefer my kiddo learnt without permanent scarring.

My friend has beautiful botanical tattoos but I still don’t like tattoos. I’d tell my DCs I’d rather they didn’t get them but they are adults so ultimately is none of my business.

I think tattoos are like graffiti - there’s a few which are really beautiful, some that are ok but would probably look better without, and a lot which look crap.

I would encourage any child of mine to wait 2 years and see if they still want the same tattoo at the end of that period. Mostly I guess they won’t, especially if they are young.

Went to a wedding a couple of years ago. The bride wore a sleeveless dress to show off her tattoos. In the photos it looked like she had been beaten up with black splodges that look like bruises up her arms. When she saw the photos she cried.

For me I dislike the permanancy. Having tattoos on your arms and legs means that when you want to wear something sleeveless or shorts, it's like having to wear the same blouse and trousers for the rest of your life.

I have quite a lot and will be getting more, and I have them on my hands and part of my neck so very very visible. I honestly wouldn’t care if my kids got tattoos. I don’t get the fuss either - if you don’t like tattoos, dont get any. My dad doesn’t like them but doesn’t have anything against them and doesn’t think you should judge people with them. My mum likes them but doesn’t have any herself.

I also have piercings and people are similarly weird about their kids getting pierced. It’s really not that deep. As long as my kids are good people, I couldn’t care less whether they have tattoos or piercings.

Exactly. They're so ubiquitous. It makes me laugh to think that people still associate them with rebellion or individuality.

My mum's boss had to help me move to the college halls of residence as the night before I yawned and my dad saw my tongue piercing. Didn't speak to me for weeks. Treated me like utter shit if I ever went home. Utter grade A cunt.

Just before my 18th he spotted I had a tattoo. Didn't speak to me for months.

I've had a few more tattoos and piercings since then and he's never mentioned them.

I wouldn’t demand my children don’t get them, that’s just weird and controlling, but I would try to make them think more about it.

They’re pretty much permanent and what they may like at one point in their life, probably isn’t what they’ll like 10 years later. I want my kids to be happy and this has the potential to be a regret, an easily preventable one. I know more people that regret their tattoos than are happy with them. I’ve never actually seen a tattoo that I’ve thought looks good and they just seem a pointless to me.

Some of the most genuine, decent people i know are covered in tattoos while some of the most uptight, judgemental people i know have none!

I agree, getting a tattoo makes people kinder and better human beings. Hitler, Stalin and The Youtuber Owen Jones all famously lack tattoos.

I looove my tattoos, got my first at 14 (!) and I knew full week that I wouldn't regret it. I'm now mid 40s pretty heavily tattooed for a woman and still want more. I love them, even the 1-2 I've got on impulse and "gone off" , I've just got a new , better design over the top. I'd be covered in them but the recovery, on legs especially is absurdly brutal! I honestly felt like I'd been shot in the calf the day after my lower leg tattoo and could hardly weight bare for ten days.

I would have no issues with my kids doing what ever they want. Whether that's career, family, travelling, tattoos or religion. I just want them to be happy. I don't care if that's living off grid in a caravan surfing all summer and working all winter or getting a phd and being a high flying Brainiac.

How come everyone on MN knows people who deeply regret their tattoos lol? I don’t know anyone who does - it also makes me laugh when people say they don’t go with anything, well that depends on style doesn’t it. If you’re someone who wears a lot of black and alternative style clothing, that’s different to someone who wears more trend type fashion.

Absolutely this. Especially the bit about poor mental health. Nephew had one done when in a bad place mentally and now massively regrets it because it is a constant reminder of what he went through. It's on his neck so he sees it every time he looks in the mirror. So sad.

Also MN makes me laugh with its hypocrisy, I got slated for being “judgemental” of something but people here are openly saying far worse things about tattooed people with no pushback. Bunch of hypocrites!

I have two friends who have both had - or attempted to have - tattoos removed. One worked pretty well, the other didn't. They definitely regretted them!

Having said that, I also know plenty of people who are very happy with their tattoos. But it's not exactly odd to suggest that some people might later come to regret permanently marking their bodies in their teens / 20s.

Having a differing opinion from you doesn’t mean I think I have any hold or sway over what you do with your body, I think it’s really bizarre you immediately jump to something like that?

I don’t think it’s as prevalent as people on here think. My friendship group (and me) is quite a gothic lot and none of us have any regrets about our tattoos