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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not understand why parents hate their kids getting tattoos

285 replies

lailamaria · 15/06/2022 02:36

Obviously this applies to adult children but it's something i've come across a lot and never really understood it, is it because parents feel some sort of ownership over their kids bodies or is it something different.

This isn't a brag or anything but my mum's never been bothered, she has 2 tattoos herself with extremely sentimental meaning (although i think people should get tattoos whether their sentimental or not) and for my sister's 18th she even paid for her to get one as her birthday present.

I understand not liking tattoos on yourself but demanding your adult children don't get them or even talk them out of getting them I think is rather rude when their paying for them themselves with their own money. My aunt used to ask my cousin to cover hers up just because she hated it (it was a flower on her back so it wasn't like the tattoo was offensive.)

I'm not trying to judge truly I personally just find it strange

OP posts:
forlornlorna1 · 15/06/2022 08:36

I don't like my daughters getting tattoos as I got one myself and I've regretted it. It's somewhere easily hidden so I never did go about getting it removed. Then eldest dd came home with a big one on her shoulder and I actually felt like crying lol massive over reaction I know!!. Other dd now has a sleeve. Although they are really lovely tattoos and very well done I just really do not like them at all. But yeah they are adults it's up to them

donquixotedelamancha · 15/06/2022 08:37

Mumsnet manages to have the vapours over many things that are incredibly mainstream

Yeah, everyone else on MN thinks the same. Only you and those who think exactly like you are individuals.

BashfulClam · 15/06/2022 08:37

The amount of people I know who want cover ups or tattoo removal makes me glad I never got one. The playboy bunny ones went out of date faster than milk.

timestheyarechanging · 15/06/2022 08:38

Doesn't bother me at all. Tattoos are so popular these days and doesn't seem to affect job prospects or anything else, which I think years ago may have been a problem.

Over the past few weeks I have met with police officers (I wasn't in trouble!) and many doctors and other health professionals. I noticed that practically all had tattoos that were visible whilst in uniform.

My daughter had a huge one on her 18th birthday which, as I gave her money as part of her birthday gift, I probably paid for! It is a beautiful Mandula design which she thought long and hard about before getting it done. If she had more that's up to her but I'm not a fan of being heavily covered.

I might have had a dodgy one when I was 17 which I regret at 51 and planning to get covered!!

donquixotedelamancha · 15/06/2022 08:40

Even a few members of the royal family have them now.

Indeed, the queen's tattoos include a roaring corgi covering her while back and hears over her nipples.

InChocolateWeTrust · 15/06/2022 08:50

Because to get a tattoo involves injuring and permanently marking healthy skin, I dislike it intensely.

No disrespect to anyone who chooses it, it's just not my bag. I think my kids look beautiful and perfect just as they are so I would be sad if they wanted to change their bodies with tattoos

BeggyMitchell · 15/06/2022 08:52

donquixotedelamancha · 15/06/2022 08:40

Even a few members of the royal family have them now.

Indeed, the queen's tattoos include a roaring corgi covering her while back and hears over her nipples.

Grin
Hrpuffnstuff1 · 15/06/2022 08:55

donquixotedelamancha · 15/06/2022 08:40

Even a few members of the royal family have them now.

Indeed, the queen's tattoos include a roaring corgi covering her while back and hears over her nipples.

😂😂😂

EmilyBolton · 15/06/2022 08:56

I generally hate them . I was at a wedding and the bride was in a stunning lace dress…except under it you could see these horrible dark patches where she had tattoos …it really spoiled the effect of her lovely skin tone under the parts that were sheer lace. Yes, she did look lovely, and I was very happy for her, but I still thought why have tats in places that will show through into dresses and clothes like that and spoil the look.
ive known people with small ones in places that are generally hidden even in revealing or sheer clothing. Like the inner arm or thigh…that at least seems better.. but I don’t get these large images plastered all over outer arms, thighs or midriff
I have no idea if DS have tats….I don’t ask, don’t want to know…certainly never seen evidence when they’re in shorts and t shirts. If I did find out that they had I wouldn’t compliment them…but I would say anything unless asked outright …but inside I’d think it would upset me a bit.

MiseryWIthAStent · 15/06/2022 09:00

I know everyone says but think what they'll look like when you're old but there's a woman who lives near me in her late 70's/early 80's with leopard print purple tattoos and wears a leopard print coat and I always think she looks really cool 😅

crossstitchingnana · 15/06/2022 09:05

Because when we age, IMO, they look tacky. Plus, it may affect job opportunities in the future. My dd is covered and I hate it. She's now wanting one of her neck. I am devastated. I birthed this beautiful, perfect little baby and she's mutilating herself.

Daniel2008 · 15/06/2022 09:06

My parents didn't have any and my dad used to tell us "if you were supposed to have tattoos/piercings you'd have been born with them" however he used to tell us its our bodies and its up to us what we do with them, iv gone on to get multiple tattoos/piercings, some of which I regret and others I don't. In regards to my children, I agree that it's their body and their choice but they have such beautiful perfect skin that unreasonably I don't want them to do anything to it lol. I'm sure my dad felt the same way.

Justcallmebebes · 15/06/2022 09:09

Because I knew that 18 year old DD would really regret her tattoo when she was older. And now she's in her 30's I was right.

Tattoos look great and edgy when you're young, pretty damn awful when you're not

Firebird83 · 15/06/2022 09:14

They look awful and tacky. I don’t think I’ve ever seen one I thought looked nice.

bigbluebus · 15/06/2022 09:14

I don't particularly like tatoos on anyone but I don't judge - just wouldn't be what I'd choose due to the permanency of them. I often wonder what the tattoos will look like on beautiful young women when they are old and wrinkly.
As far as I'm aware my DS hasn't got any - although who knows what he got up to at Uni. But he's certainly never given any indication that he wants one. If he got one then so be it but I'd be disappointed if he went for a sleeve or leg full.

Greengagesnfennel · 15/06/2022 09:15

Because I don't like the look of them and if it's my child I'm going to be looking at it a lot 😁

ReachersAbs · 15/06/2022 09:15

lailamaria · 15/06/2022 02:36

Obviously this applies to adult children but it's something i've come across a lot and never really understood it, is it because parents feel some sort of ownership over their kids bodies or is it something different.

This isn't a brag or anything but my mum's never been bothered, she has 2 tattoos herself with extremely sentimental meaning (although i think people should get tattoos whether their sentimental or not) and for my sister's 18th she even paid for her to get one as her birthday present.

I understand not liking tattoos on yourself but demanding your adult children don't get them or even talk them out of getting them I think is rather rude when their paying for them themselves with their own money. My aunt used to ask my cousin to cover hers up just because she hated it (it was a flower on her back so it wasn't like the tattoo was offensive.)

I'm not trying to judge truly I personally just find it strange

Based on past threads I think you hit the nail on the head in your first paragraph

Cornettoninja · 15/06/2022 09:16

I don’t really understand the point about tattoos looking shit as you age, nobody looks like a 21yr old forever - your whole body ages! The two examples on this thread - saggy arms and belly button - are both examples of areas that probably look a bit crap with or without a tattoo and I suspect that ‘I can’t show that area because of a tattoo’ is actually ‘that’s an area that has not aged well and I’m self conscious of regardless of a tattoo’.

I have one on my back that wasn’t even particularly fashionable when I had it done. I’ve been through the phase of not really ‘loving’ it anymore and now it’s just there. I don’t mind having a reminder of who I was when I got it done, I wouldn’t consider removal, never have. Occasionally I catch a glimpse and roll my eyes and smile at my teenage self. I’ve toyed with the idea of getting it redone/covered with another tattoo but haven’t been motivated to do that yet. I rarely show my back anyway. I also briefly consider other tattoos now and then, I really like feet and hand tattoos but my pain threshold isn’t what it once was.

If my dd wants one when she’s older then good luck to her, I’d encourage her to research the artist - because it is art - and placement but things aren’t how they used to be.

The only body modifications I would actively discourage is those ball things inserted under the skin, lower lip piercings (I once watched someone suck the stud after every bite of a meal and it turned my stomach) and those ear stretching things. All completely personal preference but I’d actively struggle to be around someone with those.

SexyLittleNosferatu · 15/06/2022 09:18

FiveNineFive · 15/06/2022 07:52

This went exactly as I expected. Mumsnet is so incredibly conservative.

Nah, it's not being conservative. It's just one of the very few things on this site that it is acceptable to be unpleasant about. You can chuck around words like "common" and "chav" with abandon, and people nod their judgemental little heads and agree.

ninkasi90 · 15/06/2022 09:20

My dad didn't talk to me for weeks when i got my first tattoo (21 at the time)
I'm a musician and I'm dyslexic, so i got
"Where words fail, music speaks"
For me it is a true saying, as I'm better talking through music, than putting words together.

He got over it though

daisypond · 15/06/2022 09:22

My DD has tattoos. I hate them, though I don’t say anything. I think they’re ugly and she’s got several. They not particularly hidden.

bloodyplanes · 15/06/2022 09:23

I think its a very backward view to have. I honestly don't get why people would be so bothered by what others do to their own body. I paid for both my children's first tattoos as a gift. Some of the most genuine, decent people i know are covered in tattoos while some of the most uptight, judgemental people i know have none!

Badnewsoracle · 15/06/2022 09:25

Meh, I can't really get worked up over tattoos.

CandleSchtick · 15/06/2022 09:25

My dad talked me gently out of getting a tattoo when I was 18 and 20+ years later I’m forever grateful

Likewise I talked my dd out of a tattoo when she was 18. Now 35 she reckons I've saved her a fortune on getting it removed.

ReachersAbs · 15/06/2022 09:26

Totally agree @bloodyplanes