My daughter doesn’t like our new puppy! 😣

[ohwhattodo96]

We got a puppy a few days ago so it’s all very new and still settling down, but my autistic 6 year old daughter hates him! 😔

She has been a bit rough with him a few times which has led to her being disciplined and put on time out, and she has started saying that she doesn’t want a dog and wants him to be sent away, she literally spends all day shouting this.

I think part of it could be jealously because she is no longer getting sole attention, especially because he has been unwell, and I have tried getting her involved in playing with him and helping to do things for him, but she just refuses.

How do I fix this?! X

But those dogs are purposely trained and supported to become sensitive to the child's behaviour. You would be naive to think it will just happen as they get used to each other.

Not all children like animals so it's not always good

Poor pup - I don't know what it says about me that my heart always lies with the animal!

@mycatisannoying It's both, for me. All dogs are unpredictable. Any dog can react in an unexpected way. A dog that has been hit, around a child that is unpredictable and hits, is a danger to both dog and child. He may be a puppy at the moment but even puppies can respond in an unexpected way to threat and stress. The consequences for both of them are unthinkable.

Well this is confusing Mum2One23.
On your other thread from a few days ago you said you were having doubts about collecting the pup. Concerns about the breeder etc. You didn't mention your daughter.
You got good advice there about risks of BYB's.
Then you posted that you'd decided not to have the puppy and gave the breeder a bit of a bollocking
Why did you change your mind again?

You haven't listened to a single word of concern anyone's expressed.

This little puppy is not your daughter's teaching tool.

That's an interesting timeline.

As is the magical recovery after one dose of antibiotics... at the world's speediest vet's.

Within less than a week, all this has happened. A tiny puppy has come from a crappy puppy farmer and has been poorly and hit on the head. Of course it’s a cross breed! I actually like some cross breeds but this is ringing the worst alarm bells.

Out of interest, what was the diagnosis for puppy? Mine is older and took longer to recover from a standard gastro bug. Puppies get dehydrated and unwell quickly, mine needed hospital treatment and a few days on fluids and IV antibiotics.

Omg
Worst idea ever

A puppy and an autistic child ..a puppy with a NT child is already a bad combination 🙄🙄🙄

Rehome this puppy right now please.

@Teder he was treated for a stomach infection, which vet thought was pre-existing and potentially flared up from travel (about 40/50 minutes in the car). He has been given some oral rehydration fluid to be given hourly but he is back to actually passing urine again regularly and no more loose stools so fingers crossed it’s sorted it out. Although the breeder was giving him raw meat - not the hygienic type especially made for dog either - just raw meat out supermarket by the sounds of it - so could potentially have picked up some bacteria from that too

That breeder is utter scum. I’m not one of those rampant “only rescue a greyhound” posters but people who breed dogs in the way this person has is awful. The people who buy the puppies are also responsible for the cruelty.

Poor puppy. From a backyard breeder and now stuck with you as you wont listen!

I wish I hadn't come back to check progress, that poor child ( and dog).

"When she can't get her own way"? "When she's being told off"?

You just can't even see what you're doing.

Yes I tell my child off when she needs it - as does probably every other parent on the planet - and yes children do go through stages of wanting their own way and then not liking it when that doesn’t happen - seriously get a fucking grip @lborgia

Ok… Those last two posts tell us all we need to know. Nice… Not.

But if the puppy is removed when she is unhappy, for its safety, will she not perceive it as being used to punish her? How volatile is she, can you guarantee you will always be ready to step in? You are in danger of creating a difficult dynamic in your household rather than it be a beneficial relationship to all, including the pup.

Oh dear. Not going well then.

@lborgia and @daisypond Huh?! I don't get it. Do you never tell your kids off?

It’s nothing to do with telling kids off. It’s to do with the language and level of aggression you’ve just used.

The reason that many ND children “misbehave” is because:

• they don’t understand social expectations
• they don’t recognise social cues, so won’t realise they are being annoying, or “naughty”
• they may have a shit working memory so they will forget what you just asked of them, especially if it involved more than one or two commands
• their reaction to confusion can be extreme anxiety
• if they can’t articulate what concerns them, some kids will act out/ do something to lash out (this applies to NT kids too, but generally recedes as they start to be able to use language to their advantage, and can understand what’s upsetting them).

Punishment for children who don’t understand what they are doing wrong/how to read signs, is cruel, but yes, it works. It has, however, been considered less desirable for a long time because you are basically using pain to stop them repeating an action. It may not be physical pain, but be assured, a childhood of consequences that have no context or compassion is a very direct path to an unhappy, bewildered child.

??? I'm not the OP

@ohwhattodo96

If you are insistent on keeping the pup then you need to come up with a way to make this work. Your DD needs positive encouragement around the puppy, I don't mean to ignore bad behaviour but its really important to encourage the good. So try training together. Have her help with puppy meal times, bowl cleaning, walking round the garden. Concider finding information together on puppy care. Have her crate a weekly chart for the Puppy's routine, crate training ideas sit stay fetch the list is endless.

You also need to sort time out for the puppy, not punishment just a break from you and human stimulation. Concider crate training, concider a playpen with treats and toys Kongs etc. Puppy's are hard work, you think it's hard now wait until adolescence. Do something positive with your DD when Puppy is in timeout asleep. Explain and reinforce no violence to the puppy, it won't be long before that little pup bites back, not agression but play.

Oh, yes, sorry @XelaM

Difficult. We bought a beautiful lagotto pup 7 months ago, which DH is training as an assistance dog for autistic DS. Before he arrived, we spent months going to our local, very busy, dog park about 5 times a week, and DS spent time with dozens of dogs and their very kind owners, preparing for this. We already had a breeder at the top of our list, because many of her pups go straight to assistance dog organisations for fostering until they're trained. She had extensive notes on our family, and video of our son interacting with various dogs. She chose our pup.

Despite the huge amount of preparation we put in, the first week was a nightmare, and those which followed were challenging. DS hated the puppy's behaviour and was intensely jealous. He wasn't aggressive, just distressed and rejecting. We just didn't fuss too much over the puppy, and DH took over most of the puppy care while I spent more time with DS. Gradually, DS got used to the dog being around, and soon they were friends.

It's brilliant now. We all adore him, and he's been absolutely wonderful for DS.