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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Attempted upskirting by delivery man

281 replies

upskirting · 13/06/2022 23:09

Bizarre and shocking experience today, thanks to a delivery man working for a large well known delivery firm acting on behalf of a major U.K. retailer.

He "had to tie his shoelaces" three times in the 5ish mins he and his male colleague were here. I was home alone. Each time he moved uncomfortably close to me and then knelt on the floor and put his phone camera-up on the floor next to him. I felt uncomfortable but couldn’t believe that he was trying anything.

The third time I was in an area like a utility room, and he'd knelt in front of the doorway, essentially blocking me in... and then said, oh sorry, i'm blocking you! He moved himself but not the phone, which I would have had to step over or close to over, to get past into the main room. Fortunately I had the good sense to stay where I was.

AIBU that this man should lose his job? As should his colleague, who clearly knew what was going on? And also, WWYD now, if you were me?

OP posts:
hulahooper2 · 13/06/2022 23:11

Was it a Next delivery by any chance ?

OutDamnedSpot · 13/06/2022 23:13

You need to report it to the company, and maybe even the police.

Beamur · 13/06/2022 23:15

Formal complaint to the company and maybe police too.
What a creep! Hope you're ok.

TaranThePigKeeper · 13/06/2022 23:15

If you’re completely sure of what was happening (and I agree that’s just what it sounds like) then he’s tried to commit a criminal offence. It would have been easy to set a 3 second or 10 second timer on the camera before putting it down and enticing you to step over it.

If it was me, I would report to the retailer, as that’s who you had your contract with, and ask them to tell you what they are going to do about it. I would also say that if you’re not satisfied by their response that you’ll go to the police. I might go to the police anyway.

MumstedInadequate · 13/06/2022 23:17

Report report.
These minor incidents are small steps on the way to serious offences. Help get this pervert stopped now.

Rosebel · 13/06/2022 23:17

Yes he should loose his job but I'm not sure how you could prove it I'm not sure his colleague should though. It sounds like he didn't do anything and how could he even stop him?
I'd complain though. If enough people complain then at least they should investigate.

Maray1967 · 13/06/2022 23:18

Report him now to his employer. Not sure if it’s worth reporting to the police - I don’t know how much effort they would put into finding out who he is. But they should.
This is a lesson to us all. What do we do if this happens? In that instant we don’t usually think clearly, we’re too stressed. But we all need to consider that this could happen and that we should ask why is that phone on the floor near my legs? Why do you keep kneeling down near me?

Original poster
upskirting · 13/06/2022 23:18

It was not, think soft furnishings, three letter name. I called the delivery firm almost immediately- the man who took the call seemed very unconcerned, although it has supposedly “been passed on to the relevant department”.

OP posts:
TaranThePigKeeper · 13/06/2022 23:20

upskirting · 13/06/2022 23:18

It was not, think soft furnishings, three letter name. I called the delivery firm almost immediately- the man who took the call seemed very unconcerned, although it has supposedly “been passed on to the relevant department”.

Definitely don’t leave it there - go to the company you bought from. They will be more invested in not losing business by association. And also the police.

Original poster
upskirting · 13/06/2022 23:21

And yes, I’m 100% sure of what was happening. The whole thing was odd- he was talking on and on about his shoelaces coming untied all the time, and then on about how he’d smashed his phone screen and that’s why the phone had to go on the floor. Making up excuses for something nobody had asked about…

I made two mistakes- allowing myself to be cornered into a room with no easy exit, and not asking him directly to put the phone on the worktop instead, to signal I knew what he was doing. But hey, what can you do? Wasn’t expecting the whole situation, obviously.

OP posts:
Getoff · 13/06/2022 23:22

Surely you report this to the police? Who will have the power to look at his phone.

Original poster
upskirting · 13/06/2022 23:24

Feels like a stretch to call the police? They don’t have time for real crimes, let alone an attempted one which in reality is his plus his mate’s word against mine…

OP posts:
FOJN · 13/06/2022 23:24

I would put your complaint to the company in writing. This man should not be entering the homes of women, his behaviour is predatory and concerning.

I would second guess myself on calling the police because I doubt they would do anything even though it would be the right thing to do and they should take it seriously.

MsAdoraBelleDearheartVonLipwig · 13/06/2022 23:26

Jesus, I can’t believe this happened to you in your own bloody home. These perverts will stop at nothing. I’d be mentioning it to the police too. And tell the company that’s what you’ve done. The relevant department might suddenly find that they’re a little more interested. Fuming for you!

di2004 · 13/06/2022 23:26

It sounds disgusting what he did and sounds like his colleague knew what was going on too. I hate it when mail delivery drivers have to take a ‘photo’ of the item usually with my lower half in the photo too. Bloody creeps! Please report it x

FOJN · 13/06/2022 23:27

They don’t have time for real crimes,

This is a real crime. It's seems its crimes against women they often don't have time for.

Original poster
upskirting · 13/06/2022 23:28

Thanks for the solidarity! I’m fine in that nothing actually happened, I stayed out of shot, as far as I could tell. But it’s not nice, and I’m pretty upset about it.

OP posts:
Original poster
upskirting · 13/06/2022 23:29

Amen to that FOJN… but it was more of an attempted crime, at least I hope!

I’ll definitely follow up with both the delivery firm and the original shop… this is one thread I’d quite like the Daily Fail to pick up!

OP posts:
MontanaMountains · 13/06/2022 23:33

www.gov.uk/government/news/upskirting-know-your-rights

Well it's a criminal offence and as such the police should be involved. If they check his phone and home computer they'll probably find loads of incriminating evidence. He's a disgusting pervert, and a completely blatant one too!

Original poster
upskirting · 13/06/2022 23:34

Thank you for that link, I’d never had a reason to think about it much before… that’s really helpful.

OP posts:
Pepsipepsi · 13/06/2022 23:34

You should report it to your non emergency police department. I think a lot of forces have ways to submit online now.
If anything it creates a paper trail if their behaviour escalates.
Absolutely awful you had to deal with this. :(
I hope the company takes your complaint seriously.

tararabumdeay · 13/06/2022 23:37

Were you wearing a skirt?

Strawberriesaregreat · 13/06/2022 23:38

I'd put it in writing to the CEO of the company. It then has a paper trail and not just a phone call. Luckily you had the foresight not to step over his camera and were aware of whats going on. Yes I'd also report to the police just so they have a record of it incase it happens to someone else in the future. He should lose his job and his colleague for colluding in this. Well done for standing your ground.

CandyLeBonBon · 13/06/2022 23:38

Sounds very upsetting op

Original poster
upskirting · 13/06/2022 23:41

Yes, I was wearing a dress. Otherwise it have probably made a boring photo for this disgusting chap… lesson learnt, eh? That’s the last time I wear a dress in my own home…(!)

OP posts:
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