Attempted upskirting by delivery man

[upskirting]

Bizarre and shocking experience today, thanks to a delivery man working for a large well known delivery firm acting on behalf of a major U.K. retailer.

He "had to tie his shoelaces" three times in the 5ish mins he and his male colleague were here. I was home alone. Each time he moved uncomfortably close to me and then knelt on the floor and put his phone camera-up on the floor next to him. I felt uncomfortable but couldn’t believe that he was trying anything.

The third time I was in an area like a utility room, and he'd knelt in front of the doorway, essentially blocking me in... and then said, oh sorry, i'm blocking you! He moved himself but not the phone, which I would have had to step over or close to over, to get past into the main room. Fortunately I had the good sense to stay where I was.

AIBU that this man should lose his job? As should his colleague, who clearly knew what was going on? And also, WWYD now, if you were me?

Maybe because she was on her own with two men who had already displayed creepy behaviour.
Maybe because women are socialised not to make a fuss.
Maybe because, like you and SpringIsSprung1, other women fall over themselves to victim blame and tell them what they should have done in their situation and how much better they would have handled it.
Maybe because it's a recognised response to freeze in the face of potential danger.

Clearly the OP is being responsible in this instance to bring it to our attention that these things happen (it isn't something I'd have immediately thought might happen, but is an obvious route for certain creeps to do a job involving being in women's homes). Also, once she's safe, to make sure she does her best to stop this happening to others in the future.

When I was a school girl. 13-16 I'm uniform girls for constant abuse, whistles. Horrible Lairy shout outs. Mainly by middle age working men. Hated it then but now I can see how horrific and disgusting it is for any men to proposition young girls in school uniform, knowing they're all underage

My ds who was 10 at the time was sexually assaulted over a period of 3 months by one of his dad's carers. He started by tickling him which carried on to him trying to put his hand down his trousers as he lay playing on the floor. The Final time he tried ds who had his arm in pot hit him, the carer snatched the sky remote off him & put the porn channel on the TV, ds dad was in the dining room, he was the person he was supposed to be caring for. It was only after this that ds told his dad who went ballistic, rang the care company & the police. He was never charged, ds was diagnosed with ptsd & still has a fear of older men he doesn't know.

Nice to see women standing in solidarity with another woman who was subjected to a horrendous incident at the hands of yet another perverted man. Just. Fuck. Off.

OP you did nothing wrong. They were in your home and you were in a vulnerable position. You didn't let them do what they were trying to do, and you kept yourself safe.

Flinging cups of tea about, stamping or kicking the phone or whatever else people said they would do wouldn't have helped. If anything they'd have made you look like a lunatic and had prior warning you were onto them and given them chance to get their story straight and clear their phones of anything incriminating.

This way you can quietly report it, and hopefully the police will turn up out of the blue with a warrant to search devices. This could be the missing piece of the puzzle for someone who has dodged the police before or shed light on other incidents.

It could also just be an immature pervy twat trying his luck and hasn't behaved like this before. But a visit from the police or losing his job might be necessary to stop him doing it again and change his behaviour before harming another woman.

Please go to police... He attempted a crime and would have succeeded if you'd been distracted /not realised what was going on

Pretty sure attitudes like those of @SpringIsSprung1 are the reason convictions of sexual crimes are so low

...but why didn't you just DO something...

My friend was the victim of a terrible sexual assault in her own home by someone she trusted. One of the male policemen asked her the above question almost verbatim and is the reason she didn't pursue it.... if that's what people will think then what's the point, was her view.

Disgraceful

Well done for reporting it OP and I hope you're ok.

Bloody gross man. I’m so sorry this happened to you, in your own home of all places. I’m even more sorry that the company dismissed your allegations. You’ve done the right thing by reporting it. I’m sure as heck it wouldn’t have been his first time and this sort of behaviour usually escalates into more. Who knows what these creeps are capable of. Well done for figuring out what he was doing and for not letting him get what he wanted. Just yuk.

Are you willing to report him to the CEO OP? If you do, I suppose you should say that you’ve made a police report. You wouldn’t want any internal action to compromise a potential investigation (by tipping him off).

It’s all well and good for keyboard warriors to tell you what they would have done, but the reality is that no one knows until they’re in that situation.

At least both the company and the police have a record of this happening.
Could have happened to someone vulnerable or distracted who didn’t notice what he was up
to. What was his mate doing? I don’t think I would’ve realised what he was up to tbh…. Had our sofa delivered and the guy insisted I sit on it to take a photo as proof of delivery.

Unrelated but DH caught a Curry’s delivery drivers dropping our washing machine off the back of the lorry, driver denied it- luckily there were witnesses. Complained and got a new machine, unfortunately delivered by the same men who probably dropped it in the warehouse first.* *Curry’s weren’t the slightest bit bothered!

I believe you. What a disgusting man. I hate when they take a photo of me when I receive a parcel. Why is it ok? Please speak to someone like the ceo of the company.

OP if you do tweet it, PM me. I have 70k followers and having worked in social media, companies flag accounts like mine with customer service issues as priority to be dealt with and tend to make a big show of resolving problems quickly as they don't want a potential PR issue. I've helped friends get things resolved that theyve struggled with for months that were comparatively very minor!

This happens. My local postie, who is well known in the community and a supposedly good guy acted dodgy recently.
I was on the driveway talking to my dd as she left wearing my (not remotely sexy) dressing gown. He delivered a parcel to my hands and tried to take a full photo with me in it. I had to insist he take a shot of just my arm with the parcel in and to let me see it. He acted all huffy and offended but we both knew what he was up to.

Yes sounds very upsetting. What a creep. I remember that police programme about a worker masterbating in a vulnerable lady's house but pretending he had an itch. Makes you think who else he has done it to. If it does not feel right you should def report it to the Police. They can check his phone. I hope you are ok

Something similar happened to me when I was in my late teens and I didn’t actually report it to the police myself. However he went on to do something a step worse, and then got chased down by a relative of the next girl which then led to the police getting involved. It all was at the same public place and I had reported it to staff there so I was contacted for a police statement. I don’t know what the outcome of the whole thing was but I got the impression it was taken seriously.

anyway it’s nice to think you’d deliver a perfect karate kick to the balls of a pervert doing doing something like this but you don’t know until you’re actually in the scenario. Remember you don’t get warned in advance and you have seconds to react. Once you’ve had your WTF moment they’ve scarpered.

This is awful OP

Presumably you weren't the first (or last) woman they've done this to and I imagine not everyone would realise what they were doing

I imagine his phone has lots of incriminating photos on it

I would absolutely report him to the company

Op this is awful. I'm sorry you went through this. The posters saying I would have done this, that or the other. You really don't know what you might have done. Op was feeling vulnerable and was alone.
Please stop the blame culture and target your blame by calling out things that need calling out in your own homes first.

upskirting · Yesterday 23:24
Feels like a stretch to call the police? They don’t have time for real crimes, let alone an attempted one which in reality is his plus his mate’s word against mine…“

this is a real crime. Dangerous people start somewhere.

his friend may hate it and be happy to have the opportunity to get rid.

@upskirting
I'm really sorry to hear this happened to you.

I'm really angry at the victim blaming on this thread.

Sometimes, scary things happen, and your body takes over, beyond your control. It's meant to keep you as safe as possible in a threatening situation.

I was sexually assaulted in my place of work. I did nothing. I was scared, humiliated, and in utter disbelief. I just wanted it to be over. I couldn't move. When I reported it, my boss kept asking me why I didn't do anything...I really wasn't thinking straight at all. I can't tell you why I didn't.

So everyone saying they would have done something, it probably would have ended up worse. You spill burning on tea on someone, or kick them hard in the balls, you'll possibly end up being badly hurt yourself when they retaliate, or on criminal charges. You don't always react in the way that you would hope to.

Op was in her own home, having furniture delivered. It should never have had to cross her mind that there was a risk attached to this.

I'm glad you've reported it, and I hope that appropriate action is taken by the company and police. X

His mate could stop it relatively easily, notably by reporting on how this always happens (assuming it does) in the homes of women wearing skirts.

Well done for reporting this vile man OP. It's a crime, he will probably escalate his behaviour.

I hope you are ok

OP, you did the right thing. You avoided confrontation and minimised the risk of escalation by cautiously moving away. You then reported the men.
I mean, obviously it would have been better if you’d karate chopped him in the neck, leaving him unconscious and then used his back as a spring board to roundhouse kick the other man in the head, then tied them both up with your dressing gown cord and waited for the police, as some of the other women on this thread would have done.
If only we could all be as brave and heroic as some of the PP on this thread. There’d never be any sexual assaults, rapes or murders.
Ah well, until then, we’ll have to make do with reporting these attacks and hoping they’re taken seriously.
You should be really proud of yourself, OP. It’s a scary thing to happen and, sadly, it’s a scary thing to tell people it happened Xxx

Your attitude is absolutely disgusting. She was vulnerable in her own home. If she’d confronted them and got raped or violently hurt, would that have been her fault too? She should have stayed quiet so they didn’t attack her!

Depressing to see the usual ignorance around sexual assaults - it’s called ‘tonic immobility’ or the freeze response and it’s an inbuilt survival strategy in many mammals, not a conscious choice.

research shows around 70% of victims of sexual assault will freeze: