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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Attempted upskirting by delivery man

281 replies

upskirting · 13/06/2022 23:09

Bizarre and shocking experience today, thanks to a delivery man working for a large well known delivery firm acting on behalf of a major U.K. retailer.

He "had to tie his shoelaces" three times in the 5ish mins he and his male colleague were here. I was home alone. Each time he moved uncomfortably close to me and then knelt on the floor and put his phone camera-up on the floor next to him. I felt uncomfortable but couldn’t believe that he was trying anything.

The third time I was in an area like a utility room, and he'd knelt in front of the doorway, essentially blocking me in... and then said, oh sorry, i'm blocking you! He moved himself but not the phone, which I would have had to step over or close to over, to get past into the main room. Fortunately I had the good sense to stay where I was.

AIBU that this man should lose his job? As should his colleague, who clearly knew what was going on? And also, WWYD now, if you were me?

OP posts:
blubberyboo · 13/06/2022 23:43

The police could seize the phone and check the videos even if he has deleted

blubberyboo · 13/06/2022 23:44

Voyeurism is a crime

and if they don’t do anything a social media complaint might trigger the company into watching him

i bet he’s done it before

galvanizethis · 13/06/2022 23:49

I'm pretty sure our local Fedex guy took a picture of my young son recently when delivering a parcel.

GodspeedJune · 13/06/2022 23:49

Ugh, that’s fucking horrible. What is wrong with men like this? I’d be tempted to email the CEO to make sure it’s properly dealt with.

I kicked up a fuss when a DPD driver took a photo of me from halfway down the path, I was wearing a dress and bending over to pick up the parcel he’d just dumped on the doorstep.

CandyLeBonBon · 13/06/2022 23:52

this is one thread I’d quite like the Daily Fail to pick up!

That's quite an interesting attitude op!

worraliberty · 13/06/2022 23:54

I’ll definitely follow up with both the delivery firm and the original shop…this is one thread I’d quite like the Daily Fail to pick up!

Is it?

I'd rather the police picked it up to be honest.

NumberTheory · 13/06/2022 23:54

Report to the police. It is a real crime. It's also almost certainly not a one off and may be the stepping stone to more serious sexual crimes.

Other women may also have experienced this but if it never gets reported police can't connect the dots. If you can, get the identity of the delivery guy from the company. Police may not do much with one report, but it's there the next time it happens. All these little things can add up.

bronzepig · 13/06/2022 23:56

It's illegal and he could face a jail sentence if convicted.

Please report to the police, these kinds of crimes can often escalate to other sexual offences.

Original poster
upskirting · 13/06/2022 23:56

Do you think, Candy? I’ve just done the online report to the local police force, who will tell me there’s nothing they can do as no evidence and no witnesses.

I’ll complain to the CEO etc, and receive a response that the company will take it v seriously, blah blah… and that’ll be the end of it!

He’ll be going around more people’s houses being gross. Maybe some news coverage of things like this before it gets to cases like Wayne Couzens (although that was flashing) would prompt action.

OP posts:
SpringIsSprung1 · 13/06/2022 23:57

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EnjoythemoneyJane · 13/06/2022 23:58

That's awful, OP, and gives me the absolute fucking rage - I’ve no doubt whatsoever that that’s what he was trying to do and that his mate knew fine well what was going on. How dare these arseholes come into your home and pull this kind of shit. Even if you’re a pretty confident person it would be intimidating to have two men playing games like this if you’re home alone - especially cornering you in an enclosed space - and at worst it could feel absolutely terrifying.

Make as much fuss as you can muster. Get their names, make a formal complaint to the company’s head office. Tell them you’ve reported it to the police. No fucking way should they be tag teaming their way into women’s homes and being paid to do it. I hope you’re ok.

bronzepig · 13/06/2022 23:59

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Ah yes @upskirting , how dare you let someone upskirt you Hmm

It's upsetting when these kind of things happen and often it's the default (and safest) option, to pretend nothing is happening

TheThreadisMildlyAmusing · 14/06/2022 00:02

It's a shame you didn't accidentally stamp on his phone.

CandyLeBonBon · 14/06/2022 00:03

upskirting · 13/06/2022 23:56

Do you think, Candy? I’ve just done the online report to the local police force, who will tell me there’s nothing they can do as no evidence and no witnesses.

I’ll complain to the CEO etc, and receive a response that the company will take it v seriously, blah blah… and that’ll be the end of it!

He’ll be going around more people’s houses being gross. Maybe some news coverage of things like this before it gets to cases like Wayne Couzens (although that was flashing) would prompt action.

What were you having delivered?

EnjoythemoneyJane · 14/06/2022 00:03

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Yeah, you should definitely blame the woman in this situation. She was probably asking for it. How short was her skirt, do you think? I’d really like to hear your thoughts on that.

QueenCamilla · 14/06/2022 00:03

I was sexually assaulted by a meter reading guy sent by e.on

I hope everyone realises that there are lots of these creeps out there.

SpringIsSprung1 · 14/06/2022 00:03

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Original poster
upskirting · 14/06/2022 00:05

It’s a fair question, why did I? Well tbh I couldn’t believe initially that my intuition might be right… I stepped away both times, and the third time stayed out of the way entirely.

It was the fact he took a couple of steps towards me before kneeling down. He was an acceptable distance away… then suddenly he wasn’t. It was confusing tbh, obviously the first time I assumed he did need to tie his laces.

He wasn’t close enough to get a shot but he was trying to be, and tried to entice me over to “look for the labels on the boxes” at one point as well… honestly sounds farcical when I write it down! I’ve never had an issue like this in my 30+ years with a delivery.

OP posts:
Original poster
upskirting · 14/06/2022 00:07

To be clear, he didn’t get the phone actually under my skirt(!). But he wanted me to step over it, yes. I did not.

I had a dining table and accompanying chairs delivered. Is that important…?

OP posts:
bronzepig · 14/06/2022 00:08

@upskirting

You really don't need to defend yourself to anyone!

You're in your own home, in complete disbelief that someone is actually being so brazen. Then you don't want to be rude in case you're someone mistaken and you look like an idiot. Then you don't want to be aggressive and escalate it when you're there alone with two men.

Completely understandable.

toastfairy · 14/06/2022 00:09

upskirting · 13/06/2022 23:24

Feels like a stretch to call the police? They don’t have time for real crimes, let alone an attempted one which in reality is his plus his mate’s word against mine…

sounds like probable cause to seize phone and search hard drives I'd bet the grocery money this wasn't the first time.

SpringIsSprung1 · 14/06/2022 00:12

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Original poster
upskirting · 14/06/2022 00:18

No, I get that, and I wish I were a troll. Sadly two men literally came into my home on “official business” and tried to pull this crap, I’m not making it up.

It took me too long to clock what was happening, but with both of them between me and the front door, and no proof of what he was doing, my options felt limited. But it was very invasive. People - women - should be aware of this sort of thing. Wish I had been, although really not sure what else you can do in that situation. Kick the phone away? Sternly tell him to pick it up? 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
cstaff · 14/06/2022 00:19

If you don't get a response from the company I would put a "watch out warning" on their Facebook or twitter. That will get them moving. Filthy bastard.

toastfairy · 14/06/2022 00:20

upskirting · 13/06/2022 23:28

Thanks for the solidarity! I’m fine in that nothing actually happened, I stayed out of shot, as far as I could tell. But it’s not nice, and I’m pretty upset about it.

FWIW I think you handled it really well, I know what you mean about just being really shocked at the time. What a pair of Cf'ers.

Understandable if you can't face it but consider a letter to the CEO delivered by signed for mail. It will get passed about like a hot potato and then passed down the chain to the point where someone has to do something.

The main point of the letter is that if the company carry on employing these men knowing what they are doing they are liable for their employees future wrongdoing. get the registered address here