Page 14 | Fuming at this guy in the supermarket

Speckledhen2022 · 2022-06-13T17:42:06+00:00

I was in the supermarket this evening and I went to pick up a bottle of fabric conditioner. It was from a good brand and very cheap on offer. A big bottle for a cheap price. It was also the last one of that particular fragrance on the shelf. As I reached out to take it from the shelf, I had almost got it when a guy came by the side of me and grabbed it. He then went over to a girl who I presume was his girlfriend and gave it to her. Presumably, she has asked him to get it for her. I was absolutely fuming. I picked my jaw up off the floor said 'You fucking cunt' and walked off. AIBU for saying that?

Original poster

Speckledhen2022 · 14/06/2022 09:21

Meh2020 · 13/06/2022 23:00

YANBU - rude cunt (him not you)

Thank you

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Original poster

Speckledhen2022 · 14/06/2022 09:25

beastlyslumber · 13/06/2022 23:12

Treat others as you would wish to be treated yourself. It's the Golden Rule. You wouldn't like to be called a "fucking cunt" so don't do it to someone else. This thread is about assuaging your conscience because your conscience is telling you that you did wrong.

What the man did isn't your problem. How you behave towards others is what you have to consider.

If I was rude to someone for no reason, then I would fully expect them to say something to me. No, I would not like to be called a fucking cunt, but if I had been rude to someone unprovoked then I would fully understand why they said that. He should consider the way he acts.

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Original poster

Speckledhen2022 · 14/06/2022 09:27

FlissyPaps · 13/06/2022 23:11

This guy and his girlfriend are going to be laughing at you all week, whilst folding their scented soft laundry.

Is it really worth using verbal abuse in petty situations like this? This guy could have been a short tempered small man syndromed roid head and could have turned physical very quick. Same for the girlfriend. I’ve known more women to be violent in random public altercations.

If they were violent to me in any way, I would have them charged with assault. Any kind of criminal record for violence would have scuppered their careers. I would have made sure that happened.

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GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 14/06/2022 09:29

I think yanbu

He obviously knew he was grabbing from as good as out of your hand. That’s cuntish behaviour in my book.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 14/06/2022 09:30

If they were violent to me in any way, I would have them charged with assault. Any kind of criminal record for violence would have scuppered their careers. I would have made sure that happened.

Good for you! The last thing women should be is afraid to speak due to the possibility of male violence. The second last thing we should be is ladylike.

Original poster

Speckledhen2022 · 14/06/2022 09:32

CrankyFrankie · 13/06/2022 22:44

Totally OTT - and exactly the sort of thing I would do/have done.

His gf might have put him up to it.

The most recent time someone did something so overtly cunty to me (jumped past me at the front of a long queue because, for about 4 seconds, I hadn’t realised a second counter had opened further up) I just shouted “RUDE!”, which sounds just as unhinged imo.

To be honest, I think she just told him to get her one and he grabbed it quickly to please her. I hate queue jumpers! I was standing at the front of the queue for the self service checkouts and as one became available I walked towards it and then this guy who was behind me in the queue just overtook me and got to the self service checkout I was going for. I stupidly didn't say anything to him, but I wish I had now.

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Original poster

Speckledhen2022 · 14/06/2022 09:34

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 14/06/2022 09:30

If they were violent to me in any way, I would have them charged with assault. Any kind of criminal record for violence would have scuppered their careers. I would have made sure that happened.

Good for you! The last thing women should be is afraid to speak due to the possibility of male violence. The second last thing we should be is ladylike.

Absolutely!

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Original poster

Speckledhen2022 · 14/06/2022 09:35

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 14/06/2022 09:29

I think yanbu

He obviously knew he was grabbing from as good as out of your hand. That’s cuntish behaviour in my book.

Of course he knew what he was doing!

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KMTKaren · 14/06/2022 09:38

YANBU

it’s a dog eat dog world

beastlyslumber · 14/06/2022 09:40

Speckledhen2022 · 14/06/2022 09:25

If I was rude to someone for no reason, then I would fully expect them to say something to me. No, I would not like to be called a fucking cunt, but if I had been rude to someone unprovoked then I would fully understand why they said that. He should consider the way he acts.

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Yes, the man has to consider his behaviour. We all have to reckon with our consciences. That's on him, though - nothing to do with you.

You behaved badly. That's your problem, and that's what you should be reckoning with. You're not entitled to behave abusively or aggressively because someone has upset you. That doesn't mean you have to passively accept others' rudeness, either. You could have said, "Oh I was just about to take that" - you never know, it might have created a positive interaction, instead of a horrible one. At least you could have walked away knowing that you haven't made the world a worse place.

Original poster

Speckledhen2022 · 14/06/2022 09:43

beastlyslumber · 14/06/2022 09:40

Yes, the man has to consider his behaviour. We all have to reckon with our consciences. That's on him, though - nothing to do with you.

You behaved badly. That's your problem, and that's what you should be reckoning with. You're not entitled to behave abusively or aggressively because someone has upset you. That doesn't mean you have to passively accept others' rudeness, either. You could have said, "Oh I was just about to take that" - you never know, it might have created a positive interaction, instead of a horrible one. At least you could have walked away knowing that you haven't made the world a worse place.

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What would be the point in saying that? He knew full well I was going to take it and snatched it anyway. I really don't think he would have said "oh sorry, here take it". He knew I was going to take it and didn't care.

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WeLoveYouMissHanigan · 14/06/2022 09:46

I normally avoid posts with the word “fuming” on the title and this thread is why 😂

Don’t call people cunts, babe. It’s not nice.

beastlyslumber · 14/06/2022 09:53

Speckledhen2022 · 14/06/2022 09:43

What would be the point in saying that? He knew full well I was going to take it and snatched it anyway. I really don't think he would have said "oh sorry, here take it". He knew I was going to take it and didn't care.

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You have no way of knowing what he was thinking or what he would say or do next. You can't control other people, you can only try to control yourself.

The point of saying something would be: a) to give him a chance to reassess if he misjudged the situation; b) to open the possibility of changing the outcome; c) to stand up for yourself in an assertive way that you could be proud of, whatever his response; d) to avoid contributing more verbal abuse and conflict to the world.

MissStarry · 14/06/2022 09:57

Seems very ott and dramatic- why is this affecting you so much? Are you stressed generally?

Things like this happening are a fact of life. It’s not a big deal … this is a washing aid - of which you successfully obtained a product that does exactly the same thing.

I seriously couldn’t imagine this happening and then fuming and writing internet posts about it, and the name-calling at the time - would’ve just made you look ridiculous I’m afraid and probably gave them a good laugh.

Just be quicker and realise that it’s not “yours” until it’s actually in your possession, so if it’s that important to you then do a rolling rugby tackle on items as soon as you see them.

Forestgate · 14/06/2022 10:00

YANBU to be annoyed

YABVVVVVVVVU to go around calling people "fucking cunts". Doesn't matter who is speaking (man, woman, other) calling anyone a "fucking cunt" is a horrific turn of phrase.

You are clearly feeling rightly embarrassed at yourself - hence starting this thread . Afraid you lost the moral high ground. Try something more intelligent or eloquent next time when you need to vent

Original poster

Speckledhen2022 · 14/06/2022 10:01

MissStarry · 14/06/2022 09:57

Seems very ott and dramatic- why is this affecting you so much? Are you stressed generally?

Things like this happening are a fact of life. It’s not a big deal … this is a washing aid - of which you successfully obtained a product that does exactly the same thing.

I seriously couldn’t imagine this happening and then fuming and writing internet posts about it, and the name-calling at the time - would’ve just made you look ridiculous I’m afraid and probably gave them a good laugh.

Just be quicker and realise that it’s not “yours” until it’s actually in your possession, so if it’s that important to you then do a rolling rugby tackle on items as soon as you see them.

I am stressed because I have been bullied and picked on by men my entire life. School and workplace bullying and mocking. Totally unprovoked.

And no, I am not saying fabric softener guy was bullying me, but he was very rude. I have decided to take no more of that shit.

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MissStarry · 14/06/2022 10:55

I hear you op, but he was probably trying to impress the woman he was with, I can just imagine a conversation like “quick grab it, it’s the last one” and then him bounding over to secure it.

I doubt it was personal to you, or a sex-based act.

I’m sure he’d do the same to a bloke as it was more about him securing it for his family rather than picking on you (I guess we’ll never know unless you see him again in the same situation either leaving or pouncing with sex-reversal being a man replicating your slow-mo reach)

LuckyAmy1986 · 14/06/2022 11:21

YANBU.

ElsieMc · 14/06/2022 11:27

I had this happen in M and S when I asked a man to help me get a cake off the top shelf to check the date as the others were on sell by. It had a few days on it but he walked off with it and put it in his trolley. It was for my gs's birthday! Wont make that mistake again! Yes he was a selfish arse but not worthy of that language op!

FigTreeInEurope · 14/06/2022 11:33

You took it too persil-naly

Original poster

Speckledhen2022 · 14/06/2022 11:41

MissStarry · 14/06/2022 10:55

I hear you op, but he was probably trying to impress the woman he was with, I can just imagine a conversation like “quick grab it, it’s the last one” and then him bounding over to secure it.

I doubt it was personal to you, or a sex-based act.

I’m sure he’d do the same to a bloke as it was more about him securing it for his family rather than picking on you (I guess we’ll never know unless you see him again in the same situation either leaving or pouncing with sex-reversal being a man replicating your slow-mo reach)

Oh, how charming! He was rude to me to impress his darling girl!

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beastlyslumber · 14/06/2022 11:45

FigTreeInEurope · 14/06/2022 11:33

You took it too persil-naly

Well, he was a little Bold.

PetraBP · 14/06/2022 11:47

Sorry. If it’s on the shelf it’s there for the taking.

No excuse for abuse.

Imagine if it had been the other way round and it was a man calling you that because you’d got to the last item first.

How do you think that would go down here?

Blossomtoes · 14/06/2022 11:49

He wasn’t rude. He took the last fabric conditioner and beat you to it. You’d be complaining bitterly if the situation was reversed.

Chazzagirl2 · 14/06/2022 11:51

beastlyslumber · 14/06/2022 11:45

Well, he was a little Bold.

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Yeah, but it’s best not to sweat the Smol things.