AIBU to think drinking every day is normal?

[BitBehind]

Just that really.

I grew up in a household where both parents drank every night. Always wine with dinner and then sometimes gin or whisky afterwards.

They were never smashed. But they definitely drank every day without fail and often a little wobbly before bed. I didn't think much of it.

Now I always have wine in the evening. Soon as the kids (toddlers) are in bed it's my routine to come down and have a glass of white wine in the quiet at last. And then maybe one more with dinner. And maybe one more after dinner. Small glass. 3 max. I never go out drinking anymore so that's it. I'm never drunk but also would find it hard to not have that glass at the end of the day

Is this normal? My partner says it's definitely not.

It’s more than most people would drink.

1 small glass of wine with dinner every night - ok. But half a bottle is more than is good for you, and worse - could escalate. Have 2 booze free nights and keep an eye on it.

Your parents clearly did have a drink problem of sorts, so you could be line for it.

Seems we have a rare thing on mumsnet...a consensus.

I have always had a low tolerance for alcohol and pretty much stopped drinking after I started looking after mall children.

Yes, it's perfectly possible to safely carry a child downstairs after a glass or two of wine. But if you're over the drink-drive limit, surely you are also over the safe baby carrying limit. Your judgement and your reactions just aren't as good.

In the longer term I think the health outcomes aren't great if you're regularly drinking half a bottle of wine every night of the week - and they'd be worse if the drinking escalates.

I absolutely get that paid work/housework/childcare may often be stressful and that people need ways to unwind. But there are lots of other ways to unwind - exercise, dance, doing an evening class etc. I suppose some of these require a) money and b) a supportive partner who will do their share of evening childcare. But I think a partner who would like you to cut down on the wine would probably support you in finding other ways to de-stress.

No, that's not normal.

I take all your comments seriously and underhand that "normal" isn't the issue. Its just so normal in my family. My DHs family are tee total practically and drink squash or coke with their dinner and I find that bizarre. But DH tells me it's weird I find that so weird. I guess that's why I used the word normal. But I get its about health. I didn't know people followed those NHS guidelines to be honest.

Yay, the famous mumsnet class obsession 🥱

ask your liver - you have no idea of how much long term everyday use of this "small" amount will cause your liver damage - over time.
If you cannot manage a single day without it is the real worry and the fact your oh mentioned it to you - because he is concerned (I would say he is a keeper because it sounds like he cares)

No it’s not normal. What did you do when you were pregnant? Could you not try whatever your alternative was then a few nights a week?

I think this is probably the definition of the middle class high functioning alcohol to be honest. It's starting to be frowned upon a bit more now but especially for my parents generation (and yours by the sound of it) it was normal to crack open a bottle of wine to share between them every night. I remember a documentary on it probably over a decade ago now though. They were basically saying just because you aren't drinking cheap cider on the street corner doesn't mean you haven't got an alcohol problem. There were lots of people justifying their half a bottle a night habit, because life is stressful and as it didn't affect their jobs they didn't see a problem. Those that were told they were by definition an alcoholic were shocked.

I don’t think it’s ‘normal’, in that it isn’t healthy, but it is probably reasonably common.

I used to drink daily when I was a student and into my early-mid twenties, but it gradually reduced after that. I’m in my forties now and will have a drink if we go out. At home, I don’t drink unless we are socialising with visitors, or I’ll occasionally have a beer in the garden on a sunny weekend afternoon. So in the winter, I drink very little. Slightly more in the summer due to the occasional garden beer.

It's not good for you. And tbh if I had wine every night my partner would be concerned. You need days off to rest your liver. I usually drink 2-3 days of the week. Sometimes less, more on holiday.

No I don't think so. My mum drinks daily and has for as long as I can remember but my dad didn't. I don't drink at all because addiction issues run in the family and I just don't feel comfortable risking it for myself. My mums got progressively worse over the years and now wouldn't manage to go a night without her 2 bottles of wine.

Adults drinking squash or coke with a meal rather than water is also weird, so you can tell him that.

Do some reading around alcohol and health, half a bottle is too much - but more than that is the concern you could end up with a real problem.

I only know one person who drinks every day and that is my MIL who I would describe as a functioning alcoholic.

I bloody love drinking but tbh with a toddler its once a week and only because it’s DH turn to get up the next morning. Half a bottle a night does seem a lot but tbh I was a big drinker until a few years before DC when DH and I decided we were drinking way too much so not judging you.

I think you have just got really used to it. Could you cut down to one glass (I don’t think one glass a day is unreasonable tbh).

No, it’s not normal. It’s normal to you, but I bet those three glasses are actually a bottle and the fact you DH has brought it up means he is worried.

No, it’s not normal. But some people convince themselves it is.

Not normal to me.
It sounds like a lot to be honest.

My parents had a few wine and beer at weekends but not every day.

I don't k ow anyone who drinks every evening. My parents are 'drinkers' and even they don't.

I feel drinking every day was the norm maybe 10 - 15 years ago but in my circles people have really reduced their intake. The young people I know drink far less than I did at their age. I use to drink far more, but now just half a bottle of wine on a sat night maybe every other week.

not in our house it isn’t.

DH maybe has a beer or two a few times a month. I maybe have a glass of wine a few few times a year.

but I’m from a family who never had alcohol in the house (my parents are reformed alcoholics). DHs parents would have an occasional alcoholic drink but always a really small one

I have a gin and tonic every night . I enjoy it. Of you feel the need to cut down do it .

I would say not normal. I have 2 or 3 drinks maybe twice a week. I don't know anyone who drinks every day.

Not normal, I don’t think I’ve drank in the house for several years. I do drink on a night out, every few months or so, and I’m not uptight about drinking but drinking in the house doesn’t do it for me, I’d rather have a glass of squash.

Neither of my parents ever drank in the house either though, two separate households, so just wasn’t something I drew up around.

In my job I get quite frustrated when I speak to households over the phone with a poorly child/elderly person but nobody can bring them to an appointment because there’s no adult in the house who hasn’t had a drink.

I think your parents were functioning alcoholics. You may end up that way.