AIBU to think drinking every day is normal?

[BitBehind]

Just that really.

I grew up in a household where both parents drank every night. Always wine with dinner and then sometimes gin or whisky afterwards.

They were never smashed. But they definitely drank every day without fail and often a little wobbly before bed. I didn't think much of it.

Now I always have wine in the evening. Soon as the kids (toddlers) are in bed it's my routine to come down and have a glass of white wine in the quiet at last. And then maybe one more with dinner. And maybe one more after dinner. Small glass. 3 max. I never go out drinking anymore so that's it. I'm never drunk but also would find it hard to not have that glass at the end of the day

Is this normal? My partner says it's definitely not.

I think this is common in your 20s or when dating but not with toddlers in the house. We probably only have a glass of wine 2 nights a week at home, then one partner might go out with friends a third night. So four alcohol free days a week. Every night doesn't seem healthy

A few years ago when I was child free I would drink most nights. Not anymore though with two kids. My husband would drink every night if I let him but I told him to stop so he has 0% beer as he does love a beer and then on his day off he will have a real beer in the evening. I have a few glasses of red maybe every few weeks.

Im not one of those mn “I only drink every 4 years types!” I promise but it’s just not worth the hangover when you have kids 🤣 when they’re grown up I imagine me and husband will be back in the pub most days!

Not normal. I suspect you think it is because that's the pattern that your parents modelled. Recommended guidelines are 14 units a week for a woman (and 3 even small glasses a night would exceed this) and to have some alcohol free days.

of course people don't always follow health guidelines, but that doesn't mean they aren't there for a reason.

The bit in your post that was particularly worrying is that you would find it hard not to have a drink. I suspect you will find some posters coming along and sayin that MN is full of pearl clutchers who consider more than a thimbful of sherry at Christmas to be too much, but not wanting to do without a drink really is, or at least might be, a problem.

It wouldn't be normal for me.

And your DH seems to feel it is excessive, does it affect you in a way that has an impact on your relationship?

Normal in my household growing up was mum would drink advocaat and babycham at christmas, southern comfort and lemonade at bbqs, a bottle of baileys from her birthday would last ages. My dad would drink San Miguel or similar on a hot day or abbot's ale.

As an adult I don't drink if at home as I'm the only adult although will have alcohol-free kopperburg, I only drink if out with friends and not due to look after Dd or at christmas / bbqs in the afternoon if I'll be sober by the time I go home.

I don't know if it is normal but it is definitely not good for your health. Any alcohol is bad - it's a poison and daily drinking or binge drinking is awful.

And I say that as someone who finds it hard to miss days of drinking. I'm in the process of quitting and I hope to become teetotal. It doesn't add to your life, it takes away the joy and you just think it relaxes you/makes you have a good time when in fact it is the opposite. Just we have spent our whole lives being told that drinking = celebration and fun. When in fact it is dangerous, a downer and makes you miss out a lot of your life.

I think it's a bit too much. Once you start to feel you 'need' an alcoholic drink then you're on the road to addiction.

Not normal in the slightest

No it’s not normal, it’s actually very unhealthy.
most bottles of wine don’t hold more than 3/4 glasses so what your saying is your drinking almost a bottle of wine each night.

you should be worried about the fact you have said you would find it hard to not have a drink. That’s a problem.

I personally only have alcohol on a Friday and Saturday night. Dh might have an extra beer on a Sunday or during the week but certainly not every night.

I don't even know anyone who eats "supper"...

It’s common. I wouldn’t give it the label normal.

if you could easily skip it and wouldn’t feel deprived, I wouldn’t worry. If you can’t, it’s not healthy.

I drink well less than the average but 3 glasses a night sounds like a lot to me. I think drinking every weekend is fairly normal?

The only person I know that drinks every day is my mother, and she has one small glass of wine with her dinner - and I do mean small.

'Normal' is one thing 'healthy' is quite another. There are lot so people who do it so it's statistically 'normal'. But it's neither psychologically nor physically healthy to drink every day. Try a break. 2 days a week dry to start. Maybe try Dry January or Sober 'tober to see that you can.

Not the point of the thread but however you want to get your kicks…

This is the reason I don't drink in the house unless we have visitors. I think it's become a habit and you would perhaps be best to break it op.

During the height of covid I was drinking every day but it wasn't agreeing with the waistline or the bank so we now only drink at the weekends. Large G&T while cooking/winding down for the evening, and then a couple of glasses of wine or a couple of beers with our dinner once kids in bed. My parents have 3 alcohol free days a week but wouldn't drink more than 2 or 3 drinks the other nights. Most people I know drink at twice a week.

Just to clarify it definitely isn't a bottle every night. It's half a bottle every night. Obviously not normal by the look of things but 2 or 3 half filled glasses equals half a bottle.

I am just so used to drinking with dinner. My parents would always always drink wine with dinner.

When I was in my 20s I would go out drinking but now I never do that. As I say I feel drunk about twice a year but maybe that's because my tolerance is so high. Half a bottle doesn't make me feel drunk. I do night wakes with my toddler no problem.

Pressed send to soon. The only people I know who don't drink often are those that don't like wine! They wouldn't think of drinking spirits every night, it does seem a bit odd to me for some reason!

How can anyone say if it's normal? How are you defining normal?

I can say that ime it's not common amongst people I knowto drink that much but I can't extrapolate across the whole population although reponeses here suggest that my experience isnt atypical

No not normal at all.

If you can't stop the pattern of drinking alcohol permanently then you are an alcoholic

whether it is or it isnt normal, it shouldnt be
i was told, despite hardley drinking alcholol, to have two alcohol free nights a week - that is the advice

I think you know it isn't a wise choice but you are hoping to validate your actions by approval from others.
That denial itself has the potential to escalate.