AIBU to think drinking every day is normal?

[BitBehind]

Just that really.

I grew up in a household where both parents drank every night. Always wine with dinner and then sometimes gin or whisky afterwards.

They were never smashed. But they definitely drank every day without fail and often a little wobbly before bed. I didn't think much of it.

Now I always have wine in the evening. Soon as the kids (toddlers) are in bed it's my routine to come down and have a glass of white wine in the quiet at last. And then maybe one more with dinner. And maybe one more after dinner. Small glass. 3 max. I never go out drinking anymore so that's it. I'm never drunk but also would find it hard to not have that glass at the end of the day

Is this normal? My partner says it's definitely not.

Nope. Not normal. A glass or 2 on a weekend maybe, but every night? Nope. My Dad started with a few on an evening, eventually progressed to a bottle or 2 a night over the years. He died of alcoholic liver disease at the age of 56.

No it’s not normal or healthy to drink everyday.

It's normal for you,but it is not normal for others.

It's honestly a huge amount of wine,and it's really not healthy.

My husbands family is like this,he now doesn't drink at all as he recognizes how unhealthy and damaging this lifestyle was to himself growing up and to him as an adult.

Why are you drinking so much each night? What are you covering up? Do you drink caffeine in the day to keep you going and wine at night to help you sleep?

Your husband is right. I think you know it too.

Can you stop drinking for a while and try and reset your habit? You need to look at your relationship with alcohol,it can be frightening and painful,goodluck

I’d really struggle to drink that much every day and not feel dreadful in the morning. It’s 2.5 times the maximum recommended unit intake if you are have half a bottle of wine per night! Do you think you’d feel better to cut down to just one glass of wine a night?

It is certainly "normal" for some people.

I grew up in a household like this. My parents drank wine every night (unless one of them was ill). They didn't get smashed. But they drank every day. My former husband also drank like this (but it was beer, not wine). I know plenty of people who drink like this.

But whether its "normal" or not isn't relevant. The question is whether its healthy and supportive of a healthy life and the answer is no.

It's not great to drink this much for your health and its not great for this to be an emotional crutch.

I think your DH is right to question this and I think you probably are subconsciously questioning it yourself.

Nope. We've only ever done this on holiday abroad. And we haven't been abroad for nearly 4 years.

These days we share a bottle of wine at the weekend, and have a couple of beers on two other days of the week.

A half bottle of wine is 4.5 units. If you have that every day that's more than double the recommended 14 units a week.

I like a drink but no, that is not normal. Surely that’s a bottle of wine every day? Can’t you save it for Friday and Saturday nights? You’ll probably find you feel better by cutting down. One of my parents used to drink on their own every day during my childhood and it was a horrible thing to witness even though we were well looked after. I see alcohol as a social thing rather than something to do at home on your own, especially as it can be a depressant.

No that's not normal and very unhealthy.

A bottle of wine is about 9 or 10 units, usually.

Let's say 9.

3.5 of them per week is 31.5 units. More than double the maximum recommended amount for women.

Half a bottle a night works out to over 30 units a week

My Dad (I barely knew him) has always had 3 cans a night every night and I was always told that this made him an alcoholic.

It would be more than I would drink but I do drink on almost a daily basis. I have a glass of wine with dinner 5 nights a week. The other 2 nights I need to drive in the evenings and wouldn't drive after a glass of wine. On the Saturday night I would add 2 more glasses after dinner.

Not only is it abnormal, it has a detrimental effect on your body as it has to negate a low but constant level of poisoning.

it is not good for your health, your waist or your pocket

Okay so half a bottle of wine on average a day. That's approximately 35 units a week. I'd say that's an excessive amount. 14 is recommended.

'Normal' as in 'a lot of people do it', perhaps.

'Normal' as in 'well-adjusted and desirable behaviour', no.

My parents would sometimes open the drinks cabinet (and have one) when they came home from work, but there certainly wasn't wine every night with family dinner.

I have wine glasses that hold 125ml and will have one or two glasses (rarely three) on weekend evenings (not every evening and not every weekend without fail, but possibly more often than not), occasionally in the week. But if I'm getting through a bottle of wine in a 7-day period I honestly feel it's too much. Dh doesn't drink and my 17yo may occasionally join me in a small glass but I don't particularly encourage it.

Obviously I may have more if out with friends or whatever, but that's not a particularly regular occurrence.

I think what strikes me about your post is your description of having one... then another... then perhaps another.

It's not normal. It's been normalized to you but it isn't normal nor healthy. It seems like you are dependent on it. You don't need to be stumbling around for alcoholism to be a problem.

My mum started just having one glass a night to relax. 20 years later she’s a full blown alcoholic and it didn’t take her long at all to get to that stage, about 2 years max before her drinking started affecting everyone around her.

Not normal. I had an elderly relative who had a small glass of white wine with dinner every evening, but wasn't fussed if they couldn't (e.g. If they ran out or were somewhere that didn't have wine available), it was more from being set in their ways. But they didn't drink apart from that. I would say that was probably okay, but even then I don't think an alcoholic drink every single day is particularly normal.

I know people like this.

However, most people I know only drink a couple/ few times a week. Certainly not everyday.

I personally rarely drink, I last had a drink at Christmas.

OP I've worked in restaurants for years and yes daily drinking is common, certain elements of society have booze with lunch and I've served many MANY customers daily who have wine with their evening meal (whatever they may call it), I've also worked in pubs and daily drinking occurs daily in those too.

I wouldn't call those people alcoholics, they're not tipsy or slurring when they leave and I doubt they get the shakes if they miss a couple of glasses of wine in the evening.

My parents live in France, My grandparents were French and they DO/did drink daily with their meals, I'm unsure why someone would say otherwise and expect to not be corrected.

But this is mumsnet and it bears no resemblance to a lot of our lives. Whether that's a class issue or an "I can lie on the internet and pretend to be the person I wish i was" issue we'll never know.

There is no such thing as normal, there is only what you know but daily alcohol use is very common.

I think people who tend towards alcohol problems like to think this is normal up and down the country. I did.

It's not. And not wanting to go without indicates reliance. Do that test...

It’s normal to me Op. I have a glass of wine every evening while I am cooking. Over a week it’s a bottle and a half. I must admit I miss it if I don’t have it so it is a habit. But I am not sure it’s such a terrible habit. I never get drunk or have boozy nights out but I do like the ritual of it.

*neutralise

I think it's 'normal' as in many people drink every day and don't think it's a problem, look at the wine and gin o'clock stuff you see about, and the defensive stances some people take on threads about alcohol, I've seen a few times people saying "You're an alcoholic on Mumsnet if you drink more than a thimble full of sherry at Christmas". It's been normalised and seen as an adult thing to do, no one else's business, anyone who thinks it's not right is uptight, has no life, is boring etc etc and mocked.

The image of having an issue with alcohol is putting vodka on your cornflakes, or drinking a bottle of whiskey every night, but really, that's the results of an unchecked decline from a problem with alcohol - it's a problem far before it gets to that point.

But I don't think it's very good for you no matter how 'normal' it is, if your partner has brought it up then maybe he can see some effects on you or your family that you haven't noticed?