AIBU to think drinking every day is normal?

[BitBehind]

Just that really.

I grew up in a household where both parents drank every night. Always wine with dinner and then sometimes gin or whisky afterwards.

They were never smashed. But they definitely drank every day without fail and often a little wobbly before bed. I didn't think much of it.

Now I always have wine in the evening. Soon as the kids (toddlers) are in bed it's my routine to come down and have a glass of white wine in the quiet at last. And then maybe one more with dinner. And maybe one more after dinner. Small glass. 3 max. I never go out drinking anymore so that's it. I'm never drunk but also would find it hard to not have that glass at the end of the day

Is this normal? My partner says it's definitely not.

In real I have NEVER heard anyone quote the NHS units/guidance.

I actually thought that it might be dependent on an individuals social class etc. So it's not normal for my family, where we have "tea" in the evening after work, but for a family who are having a more formal meal each evening an alcoholic drink might be more normal? Like if you were to eat out every night then a drink might be considered normal...

Definitely not normal, it’s probably boardline high functional alcoholic

Throw the wine out and do a month without it.

You'll soon find out if you have a problem or it's just a habit.

How do you know you don't? Genuine question? I've never asked my friends about their drinking habits. Have you? And if so, how do you know they're telling you the truth?

You might think it's normal but once you try to come away from it you'll see how dependent your body is on the alcohol. This is alcohol dependency unfortunately.

It might be normal for you OP but it's really not a good idea.

Not normal, my mums a drinker and even she doesn’t drink every night. I don’t drink at all anymore but would have 1-3 glasses per night.

A bottle is, on average, 10 units. So you're drinking 2.5 times the recommended limit every week, and with no days off.

Read that back and see how you have justified this habit.

The people I know who like a glass of wine with their evening meal do just that - have one glass, and quite often only a small glass. Half a bottle of wine a night is more than just liking a drink with your meal.

This ^

Rather than trying to find allies, why not try a month (or 2) without drinking and see how you get on ?

Your partner is right.
91% of posters agree with him at the moment.
NHS guidelines clearly show you are over the recommended weekly maximum, not occasionally, but EVERY WEEK. Doesn't that worry you ?

No its not normal. 3 large glasses of wine, is nearly a bottle? Every day? That's terrible to never go to bed sober. Save it for the weekend.

My step dad thinks it’s normal. He drinks every night and during the day at the weekend and thinks everyone does.

For me it’s not normal at all, I only drink if I’m going out, celebrating something or rarely on a sunny day in the garden (might have a cider).

If it's just the ritual of it you like, then swap out your glass of wine for something non-alcoholic.

Everyone I know has a glass of wine on an evening, probably most/every day. I certainly do. I drink anywhere between half a glass and 2.5 glasses.

Mumsnet is extremely anti-alcohol.
I live in Geneva. We have aperitif every day when we get in from work, usually a glass
or two of white or rosé. With dinner we have a couple of glasses of red.
This is not considered exceptional or a problem. It’s just normal.

I’m sure it’s normal in some households. It’s not normal in many other households.

We're not an anti-alcohol household by any means - we both love a good glass of wine or a whisky/cognac/whatnot. DH drinks more beer these days than wine because wine no longer agrees with him. But we certainly don’t drink every day.

DH is more careful than I am because he has to be (heart condition and meds); he’s very disciplined about it and will just decide not to have a drink for a week/two weeks/a few days/whatever and then will stick to it quite happily, whereas I’m a bit more moody about it. However I also have a health condition I have to manage and limiting my alcohol intake to an extent is part of that.

We don’t have any ‘rules’ about alcohol, though, nor do we attach any morality to whether or not we’ve had a drink/want a drink/had one drink too many/etc.

My parents drink every night too, but they’re functional alcoholics… not always the best way to gauge what’s normal. Daily drinking isn’t healthy. I’d say that anything above two bottles of wine per week is problematic, and that’s a rather generous allowance

Think you need to distinguish between 'normal' and 'ok'. I know lots of people who drink as you do, so in that respect it is 'normal'. It definitely isn't ok though. Try to break it up with non-drinking days. Kombucha is a good alternative to white wine.

Half a bottle of wine a night is over 30 units a week. That's really not good for you. And if you can't go a day without then you definitely have a problem.

You're having food with it. Isn't that continental style rather than the 'eating is cheating', problematic style?

Cutting to the chase, OP, you're showing signs of being, or becoming, an alcoholic.

Alcoholism doesn't mean drinking vast amounts at a time, it's the dependency.

And dependency is what you're describing when you say you'd find it hard to not have the wine every day.

If you can't stop drinking yourself, there's help available. You could speak to your GP or have a look at DrinkAware to begin with.

I hope you manage to work through it, OP.

I like a drink but no, not normal for me. I used to have a very social job in my mid twenties and even then I had every Monday off the booze. I only drink three nights a week now and might go out once every couple of months but no more than a bottle of wine (and I know that's not great for me!). We usually drink every night on holiday and by the end of the week I feel bloody rough.

I’ve lived in France and yes, they do drink wine with dinner most of nights, however, the glasses were tiny. I’d say two French glasses were large English glass.

3-4 bottles of wine a week is a lot for one person IMO. I really don’t think it’s heathy to be “wobbly” everyday before bed, especially with kids at home. Would you like them to replicate this pattern?
How did it work out for your parents @BitBehind ?