AIBU to think drinking every day is normal?

[BitBehind]

Just that really.

I grew up in a household where both parents drank every night. Always wine with dinner and then sometimes gin or whisky afterwards.

They were never smashed. But they definitely drank every day without fail and often a little wobbly before bed. I didn't think much of it.

Now I always have wine in the evening. Soon as the kids (toddlers) are in bed it's my routine to come down and have a glass of white wine in the quiet at last. And then maybe one more with dinner. And maybe one more after dinner. Small glass. 3 max. I never go out drinking anymore so that's it. I'm never drunk but also would find it hard to not have that glass at the end of the day

Is this normal? My partner says it's definitely not.

Aside from the health aspects it depends how you are when you drink alcohol too. Some people are a nightmare - aggressive and nasty, and do stupid things. I am amiable and slightly giddy and then I fall asleep.

Like you, I think a glass of wine while making a nice dinner is a nice pleasant way to spend an evening. But not for a quick supper like beans on toast or an omlette. I drink tonic water with a splash of lime, or cranberry juice over ice, or just plain ice water.

Yes!! I find it SO much easier not to have wine if I’m having a rather boring/ plain supper. Add jacket potato to that category too. With pasta , stir fries etc I just feel a glass of wine is almost essential 🥴
A good easy non-wine supper is a bacon sarnie washed down with a cuppa.

@BitBehind Thank you for posting this thread. It prompted me to re-assess my own relationship with alcohol. How are you getting on with cutting down?

“I'm never drunk but also would find it hard to not have that glass at the end of the day”
Thats the worrying part. If you cannot go without then the alcohol is controlling you, not you controlling it.
Try alcohol free drinks for a week and see if there is an effect.

Think you know there’s a problem.
Even if all on here said that there’s no problem, you know the truth. Give a call to AA and chat with them. The 12 step programme does work. Really you’ve a duty to yourself. You and your family are worth getting this sorted.

Best wishes on your journey xx

@Lola4321 well done. How did that go? Are you getting the support you need?

So glad it went well and you've got that support. Don't be too tough on yourself, it is one step at a time. You've got this, wishing you all the best with your journey 🙏

I used to have a glass of wine or two every evening before I had kids. I remember a colleague being horrified and thinking I was some kind of alcoholic! But I just enjoyed it and no ill effects! Didn't see a problem, still don't!

I don't drink much anymore - maybe I'll have one glass once a week max. I can't drink more than that nowadays as my hangovers even on 2 glasses aren't great! Plus it adds to my waist circumference now! (The joys of youth are over!!) If the hangovers weren't there and I was a skinny thing, I'd probably still b drinking a glass or two every night. Seems fine to me :)

I must live in a very unusual part of the country. Alcohol is absolutely normalised here. I know many many people who drink every evening. Mostly wine drinkers.

ALL social activities are preceded with 'come over for a drink' or involve alcohol in some way.. (fancy paddle boarding this evening? We can go to xxx river and stop at the pub) ..

It's been like this for years. Even when the kids were small and picking up from a play date - a glass of wine was offered rather than a cup of tea.

The bigger the house, the higher the income - the greater the alcohol consumption. Everyone and I mean everyone I know has 'a bottle in the fridge. Most have a dedicated wine fridge !

I have one close friend (head of a maths department at a large public school) who I haven't seen without a glass on the go for nearly 20 years. She swears she only has one glass a night - which maybe true but that glass has increased in size over time so that now it hold over half a bottle of red..

So yes OP. For me your consumption it is completely 'normal' if anything down the bottom end of the scale.. not remotely healthy but definitely the norm in rural Kent/ Sussex !

I don't think it's abnormal to have wine with dinner and possibly a nightcap. Our culture is a bit weird about it, they don't like a daily drink at that level but binge drinking is extremely common.

I do think three glasses every night is a lot unless they are quite small. It's hard on your liver. I would look at cutting it back to just the one at dinner.

I do think three glasses every night is a lot unless they are quite small.

It's a lot even if they are small.

A small glass of wine has the same alcohol units as a large can of normal strength beer or cider.

So we're back at where the thread got to a few weeks back where the fact it's wine was deemed ok(ish) but if OP said she was drinking 3 cans of cider every night of the week people would have a very different opinion.