Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think drinking every day is normal?

763 replies

BitBehind · 12/06/2022 18:16

Just that really.

I grew up in a household where both parents drank every night. Always wine with dinner and then sometimes gin or whisky afterwards.

They were never smashed. But they definitely drank every day without fail and often a little wobbly before bed. I didn't think much of it.

Now I always have wine in the evening. Soon as the kids (toddlers) are in bed it's my routine to come down and have a glass of white wine in the quiet at last. And then maybe one more with dinner. And maybe one more after dinner. Small glass. 3 max. I never go out drinking anymore so that's it. I'm never drunk but also would find it hard to not have that glass at the end of the day

Is this normal? My partner says it's definitely not.

OP posts:
adlitem · 14/06/2022 15:33

@BeltnBraces OP isn't a moderate drinker. She drinks around 3x the recommended amount of units per week. The study was discussed earlier in the thread too, and has apparently been some questions raised re the causation for the non-drinkers' outcomes.

Needwine999 · 14/06/2022 15:53

Why cant you have a glass of wine every day though? If it makes you happy and you are healthy why not? In some circles its normal to drink wine at lunch, with an evening meal etc,

Needwine999 · 14/06/2022 15:55

BeltnBraces · 14/06/2022 15:18

Yup, but we all die. I need to dig out one of the largest studies done on drinking, involving civil servants of all available beasties.
The conclusion was that moderate drinkers lived the longest. Followed by non-drinkers and alcoholics coming third.
Getting plastered is neither fun nor healthy but couple of glasses of wine or gin and tonic really isn't that bad.

Good as id say im moderate i;ll be laughing when in 100 and still going for a run!

Alb0 · 14/06/2022 16:08

Needwine999 · 14/06/2022 15:53

Why cant you have a glass of wine every day though? If it makes you happy and you are healthy why not? In some circles its normal to drink wine at lunch, with an evening meal etc,

@Needwine999 One glass is not a problem. The OP is having 3 times that. That's where the problem is.

jewishmum · 14/06/2022 16:09

I never find myself wanting alcohol.

Needwine999 · 14/06/2022 16:10

I think she said 3 small glasses, so could that equate to 1.5 normal size? I try and limit to 1 on a week night per night and have a few more at weekends, i don't binge at all just love wine esp paired with a good meal.
I am planning 1 night off a week but it seems so dull, a cup of tea just isn't the same as a crisp cool glass of chardonnay....

VWBZ · 14/06/2022 16:12

jewishmum · 14/06/2022 16:09

I never find myself wanting alcohol.

I do.

VWBZ · 14/06/2022 16:13

Needwine999 · 14/06/2022 16:10

I think she said 3 small glasses, so could that equate to 1.5 normal size? I try and limit to 1 on a week night per night and have a few more at weekends, i don't binge at all just love wine esp paired with a good meal.
I am planning 1 night off a week but it seems so dull, a cup of tea just isn't the same as a crisp cool glass of chardonnay....

Me too.

Alb0 · 14/06/2022 16:13

Needwine999 · 14/06/2022 16:10

I think she said 3 small glasses, so could that equate to 1.5 normal size? I try and limit to 1 on a week night per night and have a few more at weekends, i don't binge at all just love wine esp paired with a good meal.
I am planning 1 night off a week but it seems so dull, a cup of tea just isn't the same as a crisp cool glass of chardonnay....

She said one of the glasses is small. One. She drinks half a bottle of wine at night every night.

VWBZ · 14/06/2022 16:16

I don't eat cake. A glass of wine is my treat. I'm going for a walk after work, a bit of gardening and then maybe or maybe not have a glass with my DH in the garden. It's going to be a lovely evening.

zingally · 14/06/2022 16:22

3 glasses of wine each night isn't normal, no.

BeltnBraces · 14/06/2022 16:28

Could you please find the scientific reasoning behind the size of recommended alcohol unit, please. 🤣
Dep of H pencil pushers had to come up with something.
What's the science behind it though?
Please enlighten.

Fairislefandango · 14/06/2022 16:34

Could you please find the scientific reasoning behind the size of recommended alcohol unit, please.

When it comes to discussing whether half a bottle of wine every night (ehich is what the OP said) is bad for your health or not, arguing about whether the exact recommended amount or glass size etc has any specific scientific basis is pretty irrelevant, I should think. Yet another way of trying to deflect attention from the fact that people drink too much.

Graphista · 14/06/2022 16:36

@LuckySantangelo35

I've also lived in Europe and have family and friends that live there now inc the countries you referenced with spouses/partners native to those countries - it's not the case at all that they drink daily with dinner that's a myth.

It's also a myth that alcoholism and alcohol related societal issues don't exist in those countries - they absolutely do!

Also excessive alcohol consumption either slow (daily) or fast (binging) is about the same risk wise excepting the likelihood of accidents from being drunk with binge drinking. On the health side it's about the same

@VWBZ

I've never smoked, never taken recreational drugs, despite disability (car accident not my fault) I exercise daily as much as I'm able, I'm overweight following the accident due to a combination of factors inc meds which inc weight (not just appetite inc but slowing of metabolism etc) but I'm working on that and I'm almost 1 atone down from when I started on that, I'm vegetarian and tend to not like processed foods much and love my fresh veg and fruit, my bp, cholesterol and pulse rate all healthy.

Besides which your comment is basically whataboutery anyway as this thread is about alcohol consumption. I drink maybe 2-3 times a month rarely more than 3-4 units in one go more usually 1-2 units

The idea that it's mainly/only the liver affected is a myth too. Alcohol damage affects every single organ. My alcoholic relatives have had issues with their hearts, lungs, kidneys, throats, pancreas, brain, bowels... everything and much of the damage is irreversible

The amount of over weight people is getting really bad but they don't get slagged off.

Nonsense! Overweight people get grief from all angles often totally uninvited! We just have to walk out the house and get dirty looks and nasty comments!

To be fair juice isn't good for you either as it's packed full of sugar.

So much utter nonsense on this thread on health stuff!

Juice is also packed with nutrients and fibre and is perfectly ok as part of a healthy balanced diet

A friend of mine became an alcoholic without realising it

The vast majority if not all do - nobody chooses to be an addict!

As in my first post, addiction is a sneaky little bastard that creeps up on its victims

Certain posts seem obvious to me to be coming from others with an unhealthy relationship with alcohol

@Lozois99 lots of hcps are addicts and often use obscure poor research to justify it very very common

Well done op for not drinking last night, worrying yes that it was all you could think about plus headache. I think it would be a really good idea to go and see the dr for support and maybe engage with threads on here or other group support options - that was one day and let's be honest you struggled I don't think you can do this alone and I think you need to consider whether quitting cold is healthy too, depending on your size and how much alcohol you were drinking (depends on the strength of the wine as well as how much) in some cases this is not advisable but in order to know you would need to speak very honestly with a dr. There's a point at which stopping cold is very risky to your health and needs to be managed with medication.

@WisherWood can totally relate to most of your post

Be open and honest with him about how you've realised you have a problem.

Yes - you're going to need his support and encouragement. Why wouldn't you say to him?

@booksngin - smokers are more vulnerable to asbestosis than non smokers

Graphista · 14/06/2022 16:40

On the glasses - we also don't know how large the glasses are or how much wine is actually in each glass

People very often under estimate how much they drink at home - I've done it myself it's very easy to do when you're pouring by hand/eye into stupidly large glasses which are the current fashion.

My mum still has tons of 70's glassware which is TINY in comparison to the glasses we use now!

VWBZ · 14/06/2022 16:45

@Graphista

I'm sorry about your accident. My Brother was killed in a car accident when he was 18. This is a competition though.

Not everyone commenting they like a drink has a problem. Good for you that you only drink 2-3 times a month. Again I don't care to get into a competition.

VWBZ · 14/06/2022 16:46

I meant NOT a competition.

SaggyBlinders · 14/06/2022 17:13

Needwine999 · 14/06/2022 16:10

I think she said 3 small glasses, so could that equate to 1.5 normal size? I try and limit to 1 on a week night per night and have a few more at weekends, i don't binge at all just love wine esp paired with a good meal.
I am planning 1 night off a week but it seems so dull, a cup of tea just isn't the same as a crisp cool glass of chardonnay....

A small glass of wine is 125mls, so 3 of those is 375mls, which is half a bottle of wine. Say there's 9 units in a bottle, then that's 4.5 units a day and 31.5 units a week. With no break. There's only so long that her liver can process that much alcohol, that regularly, before it starts to become damaged.

Summerwhereareyou · 14/06/2022 17:44

VB. I use non alcoholic fizz and drink out of champagne 🥂 glass still.

Much better then a cup of tea.

Also When I do drink I don't buy large bottle,just mini ones then I know I won't go over

helenbackandbeyond · 14/06/2022 17:50

I think it's perfectly normal and also do exactly the same!

shreddednips · 14/06/2022 17:59

I think that amount is not unusual but not 'normal' as such, that's a lot of units. I used to drink a similar amount in my twenties and most of my friends did too, but much less as we got older. I didn't make a conscious decision to cut back, I just felt too tired to resume after having a baby.

Nowadays I can go for weeks without any alcohol at all and then I might really fancy a couple of glasses, and it feels like a real treat. I love wine but I think a lot of it is habit- I'm not in the habit of drinking it daily, so I don't crave it day-to-day. I do have a 'special drink' at the end of each day though, just not with alcohol. Something like a nice glass of elderflower in a gin glass. Could you replace your wine with something like that?

My mum has what I would describe as a very healthy attitude to alcohol and has wine 3-4 nights a week, but it really is a very small glass (much smaller than I would pour and only a second on special occasions.) I couldn't drink that regularly because I just know I wouldn't want to stop at one.

shreddednips · 14/06/2022 18:01

Summerwhereareyou · 14/06/2022 17:44

VB. I use non alcoholic fizz and drink out of champagne 🥂 glass still.

Much better then a cup of tea.

Also When I do drink I don't buy large bottle,just mini ones then I know I won't go over

This is something I do- it's poor economy but I sometimes really fancy a glass of Prosecco. The problem with a regular bottle is that it's not as nice and fizzy the next day 🤦🏼‍♀️ but a mini bottle hits the spot but removes the temptation of polishing off so much

Fizbosshoes · 14/06/2022 18:21

My mum still has tons of 70's glassware which is TINY in comparison to the glasses we use now!

I inherited some 1970s glasses and although I don't drink every day , I much prefer them for "portion control" as it were. I usually have 1 glass which is 125ml, but like you say modern wine glasses are much larger. I also like them as they are virtually indestructible more sturdy than any of our other wine glasses- we were forever breaking and replacing wine glasses until we got these. (The clumsiness was not related to drinking! It usually happened when unloading the dishwasher!Blush)

Summerwhereareyou · 14/06/2022 18:25

Shredded poor money economy but good health economy.
My favourite is Sainsbury's prosseco half bottle.

And or a mini red and white.

I'm currently on a sabbatical because it had crept up.
Each night, so I think my last drink was end of April..

BitBehind · 14/06/2022 18:51

OK so some of you are going to think I'm very stupid...but basically I've felt really rough the last few hours and started thinking I've caught the flu or something. But then thought is this alcohol withdrawl? Honestly I haven't been drunk in 3 years and never drink before 6pm or drink spirits but it cant be coincidence that I feel so awful? I'm a bit scared tbh. Feel sick, tired, strange.

OP posts: