AIBU to think drinking every day is normal?

[BitBehind]

Just that really.

I grew up in a household where both parents drank every night. Always wine with dinner and then sometimes gin or whisky afterwards.

They were never smashed. But they definitely drank every day without fail and often a little wobbly before bed. I didn't think much of it.

Now I always have wine in the evening. Soon as the kids (toddlers) are in bed it's my routine to come down and have a glass of white wine in the quiet at last. And then maybe one more with dinner. And maybe one more after dinner. Small glass. 3 max. I never go out drinking anymore so that's it. I'm never drunk but also would find it hard to not have that glass at the end of the day

Is this normal? My partner says it's definitely not.

Not normal. I would say you are a functioning alcoholic. It's not the amount, it's the frequency and need to have it in your "chill" time. By the way I have just cleared my parents house and I was struck at just how small their wine glasses were. 3 of their glasses would be about a standard glass these days.

OP is not a functioning alcoholic. Get a grip.

OP could do with having a few dry days but that's it.

In NHS terms she meets criteria as an alcoholic.

No, it's not.

My mom drinks everyday and has done since I can remember and I've always thought it was wrong.

I don't see the point in it? I'd rather have a clear head and I'm sober if any emergency's every happened.

You don't know what you're talking about. Have a look at the NHS's definition of alcohol dependency - aka alcoholism.

Your snippy defensiveness has me wondering if you drink similarly and take offence at it being pointed out as a problem and it being given a (perfectly correctly defined) label.

OP is not a functioning alcoholic. Get a grip

The fact that op has posted saying how she feels after not having alcohol, and those symptoms sounds very much like alcohol withdrawal symptoms, would suggest that you are wrong.

The OP has said that she thinks she's getting withdrawal symptoms after a day or two without alcohol. You don't get withdrawal symptoms unless you're physically dependent on something aka addicted to it.

Now I really hope, for her sake, that the OP has got this in the early stages and that she actually can just cut back. I hope she's started to find it easier not to drink for a few days and is feeling better for it. But too often on these threads the logic is: the OP drinks what I drink. I'm not an alcoholic, therefore the OP cannot be an alcoholic. Rather than: oh, OK, maybe I do have a problem as well.

@BitBehind

How did you get on for the last 2 nights?

I don't know about unreasonable but it certainly isn't unusual. All my parents and grandparents drink at least 1-2 glasses of wine every day and don't see this as a problem.

Personally I think it's sad that daily drinking is do normalised but I don't think I'm going to change anyone's mind!

@SofiaSoFar quite.

We try and stick to a 3 nights a week rule. Usually say Tuesday, Friday, Saturday. Just means we can't just come in and think hmm I feel like a drink tonight, but will think oh I can have a couple of glasses tomorrow.

I was like that. My dad is and lots of my friends are. I'm early days in my second pregnancy so have been sober a month now and oh my gosh I feel amazing for it despite early pregnancy tiredness. I wasn't overweight and I've still lost half a stone. My skin looks great, my anxiety is almost gone.

I'm strongly considering only drinking on occasion once baby is here.

Completely normal to drink with lunch and dinner in many countries, OP. The UK is getting weird about this now like the US. Alcohol with a nice lunch or dinner: normal. A glass of wine in the evening as well: totally normal.

Lol!! It just makes meals more pleasant. It's not unhealthy to enjoy your life and drink moderate amounts.

Wow. 🤣🤣🤣

Just a message to say hope you are getting on OK?!

Read your comment about not feeling well it might be a bit of withdrawal my husband has the same feeling if he doesn't drink coffee a day headache, and a feeling of being off that's the caffeine addiction there with him.

One of my parents drank every night and I also did for years thinking it was ok. Then one of them died suddenly whilst ON a holiday after continuing to drink (long term health issue related to alcohol, but in deep denial and pushed their body too far) This shocked me. I realised how much it was affecting my sleep, temperament and making me feel so groggy. I also lost weight by stopping and I sleep so much better now. I do still drink occasionally but not nightly and I really notice the next day effects now.

You kind of do defensively convince yourself it’s ok with a lot of excuses like ‘it’s my only luxury’ ‘it’s not that much’ but 3 glasses is like most of a bottle of wine every night.

I think alcohol leaves your system in a day or 2, if you got the symptoms it would have been earlier than 3 days? I don’t know though I’m not an expert. Alcohol isn’t a cumulative effect, it isn’t going around your system over and over you metabolise it and then it’s gone but the stress it puts on your body might linger for a few more days. The psychological urge will be a lot harder you have to fight that. Took me about 3 weeks to stop thinking about drinking regularly every day, now it pops in my mind occasionally ‘ooh have some wine’ but I remind myself how it makes me feel and gain weight and it’s easier to resist it

good luck OP

Don’t a lot of people in Europe drink a light beer with a meal that has 1/4 of the alcohol wine has? I recently went to an EU country and when I was out for lunch or dinner, locals would have 1 glass of beer or a small (actually small, not even remotely like a U.K. size) red or white wine and tourists would all have a fishbowl sized Aperol Spritz or drink 3 pints of beer.

Another one who wants to tie 'enjoying life' to alcohol.

It's not normal. And I'm saying that non judgmentally as I currently do the same and know I need to curb it. Also grew up in a house where one parent drunk everyday. (Never drunk but a glass with dinner and once children were in bed)

I dont think OP is a functioning alcoholic, blimey ! How are you OP?
I actually had a night off this week, had sparkling flavoured water in a wine glass and was lovely, might do it once a week.

Think you already know the answer. It’s too much having a drink every day. Some may do this, but doesn’t make it ok. If you’re having a problem it’s now time to get help.

If a partner is questioning the amount your consuming, then sounds like he’s having concerns about you.
Now is the time to seek help.

but it cant be coincidence that I feel so awful? I'm a bit scared tbh. Feel sick, tired, strange.

It could be a coincidence and not related. If you didn't have a drink the other night and didn't keel over or anything I'm sure you'll be ok. x

I mean, it could be related I guess - either way, feel better soon.

The ideal is to live so as to maximize your happiness in the future as well as the now, or a balance between all three. If you're really interested in enjoying life then you'd want to enjoy it as long as possible.

This is highly questionable and by no means a given. The latter stages of people's lives are often boring, lonely, painful or psychologically distressing.

Maybe this is it. It is a pleasure and in reasonable quantities not generally harmful - many studies say beneficial - so if people don't have to make a financial "either this, or this" call they just allow themselves that pleasure.