AIBU to think drinking every day is normal?

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Just that really.

I grew up in a household where both parents drank every night. Always wine with dinner and then sometimes gin or whisky afterwards.

They were never smashed. But they definitely drank every day without fail and often a little wobbly before bed. I didn't think much of it.

Now I always have wine in the evening. Soon as the kids (toddlers) are in bed it's my routine to come down and have a glass of white wine in the quiet at last. And then maybe one more with dinner. And maybe one more after dinner. Small glass. 3 max. I never go out drinking anymore so that's it. I'm never drunk but also would find it hard to not have that glass at the end of the day

Is this normal? My partner says it's definitely not.

To turn on its head the argument that "this is a habit that creeps up on you" I'll say that I normally have one or two drinks every night but then I spent 8 months in a country where you require a special permit to buy alcohol, and I never bothered getting the permit and didn't miss it. Nor did I feel any sharper in the morning or more productive in the evenings!

OP, if you want to cut down for health reasons, then do. But remember that this is the internet where everyone is anonymous, and lots and lots of people virtue signal and represent themselves as they would like to be rather than they actually are. Then you've got the mean-girls who hang around hoping that someone will reveal an unflattering truth about themselves so they can jump on and say you are a BAD PERSON. They are just adult bullies who hide their nasty behaviour behind a very hastily applied veneer of concern.

That sounds very much like withdrawal - but it could be psychosomatic to some extent. But if you are worried and feeling unwell, it may be worth contacting your GP for some professional support as genuine alcohol withdrawal can actually be quite dangerous.

Hi OP, yes that does sound like alcohol withdrawal:

www.drinkaware.co.uk/facts/health-effects-of-alcohol/mental-health/alcohol-withdrawal-symptoms

It's more likely to be that after 18 months of drinking everyday, rather than catching the flu in June. Alcohol withdrawal can be rough, I wouldn't go cold turkey this week, cutting down gradually is probably a better idea. I'd book an appointment with you GP and get advice about how to cut down safely. Good luck, hope you're feeling better soon.

OP I drink similarly to you for the same reasons. My trigger is flopping down after their bedtime feeling completely drained and reaching for the wine. Also all my evenings seem the same as I'm stuck at home every night.
I've started settling down for a mediation session (wanky alert 😁) once their bedtime's finished - then doing some exercise, either at home workout if DH isn't home to look after the kids or if he is, going out for a swim or a class. Apparently meditation helps with willpower and so far it seems to be working for me. I've never enjoyed exercise but am starting to really enjoy it, I think I was getting so bored of my samey boozy evenings that this is a refreshing change.
Still bloody love a glass (or 3) of wine though...

It does sound like withdrawal, OP, yes - I get your point about not having been drunk etc, but if you give the body an addictive substance every single day for a long time and then take it away, it's going to withdraw, even if it's a seemingly small amount (and, tbh, 3 glasses of wine is not that small for everyday as people have said).

I took a tiny dose of antidepressants every day for years and had to taper off for months or the withdrawal side effects were horrible.

Please go and see your GP - alcohol withdrawal can be dangerous.

It could be alcohol withdrawal, it could also be the sugar withdrawal as well.

I would stay calm tonight, and if you still feel awful tomorrow (baring an emergency situation) speak to your GP for support and help.

Hopefully it wont take more than a few days for the rough feeling to pass. Keep going OP, get medical support if you need it and you'll soon feel so much better for cutting the alcohol out.

I do wonder where the 14 units for women came from, probably made up somewhere in government, like the 5 a day? I say enjoy life and do as you please, we all have vices just strike a balance to not over do it.

Yea OP I’m afraid it could well be alcohol withdrawal and you could start going through the DTs. Monitor your symptoms and if you start to sweat and shake you may need to drink a very small alcopop or something with a low % to help you through it. If you don’t come off it slowly you could trigger a heart attack or stroke. Happened several times with my dad .
please get help from your GP. You could well be a child of an alcoholic yourself and your alcohol use could be a result of your upbringing. If it is concerning your DP then I do believe you have a problem. Continued and sustained alcohol use can cause alcoholic dementia at a young age and cancerous mouth ulcers so it’s not just the liver.

Please do be really careful - the Dry January app does say to be careful about going cold turkey as it can be very very dangerous. I would personally speak to a doctor if you're worried before going any further, or check 111.

Cut-offs are based on the best evidence available balanced with what gives a clear public health message, whether that be alcohol, BMI, fruit and veg etc. It is not 'people in government' that decide them - rather panels of experts.

With alcohol, the evidence is now clear that any alcohol increases the risk of adverse health outcomes. Therefore 2 units is healthier than 5 units, 5 units healthier than 10, 10 units healthier than 20 etc. But people enjoy alcohol and so to say 'alcohol is bad for health' isn't an effective public health message as people want to know how bad it is for their health. The current weight of evidence is that for an average person, up to 14 units a week spread across several days is only associated with a small increase in risk of adverse health outcomes. Beyond 14 the risk becomes more substantial, and obviously increases the more you drink. At the end of the day these limits are just guidelines, there to help advise on risk, nothing more nothing less.

interesting about the sugar withdrawal. I do Dry Jan and get unbelievable sugar cravings. I don't drink much - 125ml-250ml a night of white or rose wine. But the sugar craving is really overwhelming once I'm on water instead.

I love wine. Could easily have a couple of large glasses a night. I definitely feel better and think more clearly without it though. My compromise is very weak spritzers with plenty of soda at dinner. I get through a bottle every 7-10 days.

Just realised how much my wider family drink. Alcohol with lunch and dinner is normal. We were brought up with wine at Sunday lunch.

It would have been by Doctors and scientists, you know, people that have done testing and have the medical expertise. If you can't 'enjoy life' without going over the safe limit for consumption of a poison known as alcohol, then that's sad. And, I say this as someone who has had problems with alcohol in the past.

On re-reading my post, sorry that last probably came across as sarcastic and judgemental and I didn't mean it to be. Probably as much a reflection on my need for alcohol than on anyone else.

It's true though, it is sad. I felt like that in my twenties, that life without alcohol would be really boring. I was never an alcoholic but I had undiagnosed autism, ADHD and anxiety and used alcohol as a crutch. I see now that what was boring was spending so much time in the same pubs with the same people, talking shit. I don't see any of those people anymore. It added nothing to my life. It was just wasted time. I think of all the stuff I could have done....hobbies, more travel, working on my career, getting fit. There was a woman at work who got up at 6am every Saturday and Sunday to go hiking and I thought she was really boring and weird. Now I see how much nicer that life would have been - actually being in nature and exercising and finishing the weekend with a sense of achievement.

This thread has made me not drink for two nights in a row. Going on holiday tomorrow so will be drinking then but normally I'd have had a glass or two with dinner and this discussion made me pause.

Alcohol withdrawal is one of the few withdrawals which can kill you. It is not advisable to go through it alone or without medical oversight.

I don't think you're really at the actual worry about it stage as your drinking, whilst a lot, was not raging alcoholic level. However, look up alcohol withdrawal and when to seek help and keep an eye on it. If you ready any of the 'seek help" thresholds then don't hesitate to seek immediate medical assistance.

The five a day recommendation is only there because, depressingly, the government wanted to make the daily "target" as low and achievable as possible. The actual recommended amount of fruit and veg you should be eating is much higher.

The same goes for alcohol. They know that saying "alcohol is bad for you - don't drink" is political suicide and could kill off the hospitality industry, so they've decided fourteen units is the safest number they can recommend before too much serious damage is done.

But as PP said - no units is better than two, two is better than five etc.

You don't need to be drunk everyday to be doing damage to your liver. If you drink daily and never give it a break then it will start to struggle sooner rather than later.

I don't think we've ever eaten our five a day on average in this country. All our basic foods are about filling people up with fat, calories and stodge. There would not be lots of fruit and veg available all year round to most people until the latter half of the 20th century.

So happy to see that lots of people on this thread re-evaluating drinking habits. And true about liver damage - the accrued impact of drinking daily does damage the liver - doesn't matter if you're not getting blind drunk! I am seeing more and more women with mouth/throat cancers related to alcohol - when 30 years ago this was almost exclusively a male issue (recognising that smoking stats have changed this too).
Whether you want debate the exact science behind the government unit advice is a distraction! Agree with PP and others that 2 units better than 3, and 3 units better than 4 etc. Any reduction is progress!
Also the 5 a day message is based on World Health Organisation data that having at least 400g of fruit and veg is associated with better health outcomes. In the UK, the government message is 5 a day (5 x 80g portions = 400g), in Australia it's 7 a day (7 x 60g portions = 420g). Most people in the UK get 2-3 per day. So much like alcohol, there is a large gap between actual intakes and recommendations, but every inch towards progress should be celebrated.

Everyone is different. Some weeks me and my other half may have a beer or wine each night but then we'll have weeks where we don't at all. Do not feel shamed by others posts though. It is your normal.
You can get some really good alcohol free wines. A Sunday roast with a nice glass of alcohol free red was nice and didn't feel like I was missing out. I can recommend Lindemans red, M&S Fizzero, and Lindemans Chardonnay I think it was.
Maybe swap to a couple of days alcohol free and see how you feel? 😉

How are you doing OP?

Huge well done on your commitment.

And I agree that it sounds like withdrawal from either the alcohol or the sugar. Both of which are very addictive.

I drink very rarely but I have struggled with binge eating and the first few days of stopping eating junk it can be really rough.

Read about 'Keto Flu' that a lot of people suffer when they stop carbs (which are also sugar)

It's a big change for your body and hopefully will lift - stay well hydrated.

But as others have said if you feel really bad then talking to a doctor is the way to go. X

People who say things like "enjoy life" when challenged over excessive drinking are usually those who know (even if they perhaps won't openly accept) they have a problem and need to make excuses for it.

I like a drink snd occasionally I have more than I should - I'm sure many of us do - but I don't have to drink to "enjoy life".

By the way, the 14 units is the same for both men and women these days.

Agree. I like red wine. I don't drink it excessively. I enjoy life while not drinking and I enjoy life while having a glass of red. It isn't either or.

People who say things like "enjoy life" when challenged over excessive drinking are usually those who know (even if they perhaps won't openly accept) they have a problem and need to make excuses for it.

Exactly. Do they really think it's not possible to enjoy life unless you are drinking alcohol?