To not have made my son share

[Noshare]

At a soft play type place today and my son was playing with something, another little girl kept coming up and trying to take it off him (both about 2.5). I kept politely saying 'sorry sweetheart he's playing with this one' and giving her something else which she'd take away and play with for a bit and then come back.

My son can get a bit fixated on certain things so he was playing with this for about 15 mins.

Anyway, the little girls mum came up and asked my son if he would share it now and let her have a turn and I said 'hes playing with this at the moment but as soon as he's finished she can have a go with it'. She scoffed and said don't I teach my children to share. I replied that our definition of sharing obviously differs.

They were like blocks in different shapes but she wanted the specific block my son had even though she'd piled up the others which were practically the same if that makes sense?

If he was on a swing or something and it was the only one then I'd of course tell him to let someone else have a turn now after a certain time but I don't think sharing means just giving someone what they ask for when they ask for it if that makes sense? There were plenty of other things practically the same as this item her daughter could play with.

Was I being unreasonable and failing to teach my son to share by not making him just hand over what he was playing with the moment he was asked?!

Hmmm @ParsnipHole , well it sounds like you are taking research which is inevitably carried out over a very small population and it applying to every child and parenting situation. Or you are assuming that if the everyone follows the 'research', then the majority of kids will turn out well rounded etc. - this sounds like generalisation/projection using research to justify it and doesn't help the minority in any way. To address your other points:

• I'm fully aware of the term Oriental and in particular how it is perceived as 'outdated/racist' in the North America. However I'm comfortable with using the term in the UK, have never been told it was offensive to my peers and indeed if I was to stop using it, it would be because people of Oriental descent came out and said they found it inappropriate/culturally insensitive, not because a white person on MN has decided to 'take up their cause on their behalf';
• nope my generalisation was based on these populations in the UK and US and is completely supported by economic and medical statistics;
• I'm not sure having a nice house and fancy car is 'overachievement' and implies your method of parenting would essentially look to limit a child's success as you believe it could lead to mental health issues which is quite startling. Rates of mental health referrals and suicides are lower in British Asian populations than white and black.
• that's fine, you are making an observation based on your experiences (or rather reading a book and taking that gospel) just as I am with mine. My observations fit with what I see on a day to day basis and are played out based on the economic and medical statistics in the UK.

As with most things on MN, we'll have to agree to disagree.