To want to enjoy my garden!

[FunLovinGal]

DP and I have spent a large amount of money and effort building a tikki bar, built in BBQ and hot tub in our garden (it’s a proper one - not inflatable).

As the weather was so nice yesterday and DP’s kids were at their mums we decided to have a garden party/BBQ and invited a few of our friends round early evening.

It was so great to try out the new BBQ, hot tub, and the bar is fab - really fun and quirky decor, inspired by our holidays. Made everyone cocktails!

Only thing is, we’ve put in a new sound system, so wanted to test it. But before you criticise me, it’s not like we expect to be able to play loud music all of the time - only thinking in the afternoons and perhaps a couple of hours on Friday or Saturday nights when kids aren’t staying with us.

Anyway, at 10.30 (so not exactly middle of the night!) our neighbour came and screamed at us over the fence to turn off the music and to stop talking. We weren’t even playing it that loud at that point as had turned it down - so we could all hear each other talk over it without shouting.

She said if we don’t shut up she will call the police! FFS! We’ve only just put it in so of course we wanted to enjoy it.

I’m so angry! We’ve spent thousands and fully intend to enjoy our new outdoor space. We would not play music to the early hours but it really wasn’t that late.

AIBU to just keep using it and make sure music is off before 11? The thought of not being able to enjoy our lovely garden is heartbreaking!

Lots of people if they are working early the following morning.

I once worked for a company that sold hot tubs and the chemicals for them etc, which means I probably know more about this sort of thing than the average sex pond owner. No way am I getting in one of those things, they are rank. Especially if it's a new one and the owners have no fucking clue about how to sanitise the water properly.
Ugh.

Hmmm. I DID say that every now and again would be fine. Its right there in my post.

@MintyGreenDream

thats not cos they don’t wanna deserve the husbands kids, but because they wanna let their hair down and get a bit drunk!

@MintyGreenDream

*disturb not deserve

I don’t want my house being invaded by someone else’s music. It’s not that I don’t like parties but that other people don’t have the right to force it on me.

Once in a while is fine, but with this set up it sounds like it’s going to be every bloody weekend.

I did too.

@FOJN I also had to Google tiki bar as I’d never heard of it! I was also unaware that hot tubs make a constant noise as I don’t know anyone who has one

Who puts a sound system in their garden? And then beats because it’s a noise nuisance for everyone else?

I'm gonna go against the grain and say I think this is okay. I'm quite forgiving of noise on a Saturday night, and warm days are rare in this country so you have to make the most of it!

Seeing as others seem to think it's unreasonable, maybe consider turning the music off, or at least considerably down, at 9pm. If you start your parties in the afternoon that still gives you plenty of time to play music.

PS can I come to your next party OP? 😄

But what about your neighbours wanting to enjoy their garden? Perhaps they would like to sit outside without loud music, or even inside their homes, can still hear noise. I think it's courtesy to tell them of parties in advance.

@PriamFarrl

Op has already said she is not planning on it being every weekend.

when you have neighbours you just have to suck up the occasional thing you don’t like! Like I’m sure there are things OP’s neighbours do that irritate her but she doesn’t confront them about it to keep the peace. I think her neighbours should be able to suck up the occasional garden party that she has. As I say compromise works both ways!

You enjoy your garden at the expense of everyone else. I'm bloody glad I don't live next to you!

Omg of course YABU! Sound system in the garden 😱At 10:30 😐

Someone I knew got one. She was an out and out pisshead with loud pisshead friends.

When she showed me a picture of it, my first thought was "Your poor neighbours".

If you live on the IOW and have pisshead neighbours with a tikki bar, I may know who they are...

I think your neighbour was being very unreasonable! You were having a few friends around on a Saturday night and enjoying your garden, nothing wrong with that. I think music low or off by 11 is totally fine and then you cpuld chat quietly in the hot tub or whatever until maybe midnight. The police wouldn't come out if she called them so don't worry about that. I say this as a Mum of 7 and our children never stay over anywhere and we don't have garden parties but i certainly wouldn't begrudge my neighbours having fun. It would get too much if it was every weekend or every couple of weeks, having a party or people around sometimes is fine though. I wouldn't go round to apologise as you've done nothing wrong and by apologising you're effectively admitting that you did. Also it sets the precedent and she might start having a go about other things and trying to boss you around. I hope you and your friends had fun last night, life's for living after all. Ignore your neighbour.

This is the counter to the post about wealthy neighbours not being anti social......
Who on earth has a bar and a sound system in their garden, you're not in Benidorm OP

Any music in the garden can be heard in the whole neighbourhood. We have someone on our estate who has an adult son who has left home. He waits until she is away and then invites his friends round to mum's house to play loud music in the garden, get drunk and shriek and yell. The neighbourhood WhatsApp group are always straight on it complaining. I'm guessing that mum gets the messages as the parties are soon stopped.

It's so antisocial and unfair on shift workers and families with small children.

If you were my neighbour, the For Sale board would be outside my house next week. Nobody should have to put up with selfish neighbours.

Wow, I hope your electricity bill is fucking huge

The op said ‘it’s not like we expect to be able to play loud music all of the time - only thinking in the afternoons and perhaps a couple of hours on Friday or Saturday nights when kids aren’t staying with us.’

So in fact more than every weekend. Afternoons and weekends when the kids aren’t there.

My neighbour had a huge party last week. Live band, loud music, fireworks, no problem as it’s not all the time. Another neighbour has a party about once a month. I’m fine with that.
Afternoons and every other weekend, no.

Anyway, this is all made up.

@Summerwetordry

”Any music in the garden can be heard in the whole neighbourhood.”

it really can’t.

I thought that too. Rich people can afford better sound systems.

Yeah - I don't know one single person with a hot tub. 😕

We're planning on moving soon as our neighbours, in the middle of terraced housing, have a hot tub (not too much of an issue) but insist on having music on so the full street can hear it even with windows closed and think that's only complimented by their obnoxious singing. The road was peaceful before they got here. We should have realised they were going to be awful when the first things they did (the mother mainly) was scream 'you're doing my fkn head in toddlers name why do you have to always be a dkhead!'... So yeah, forcing your lifestyle onto others is selfish af.

OP lots of people have gone for at home bars over lockdowns. It appears to be more successful whenever they are housed within a summer house or garage, so come about 8-9pm action moves indoors.

As to whether your situation is reasonable. I can imagine if my neighbours had 5-10 people having a few drinks and a chat around a fire pit of an evening this wouldn’t bother me.

10-20 drunk adults with a sound system at nearly 11 at night would bother me and I’d find a tiki bar really tacky to look at (sorry).