To want to enjoy my garden!

[FunLovinGal]

DP and I have spent a large amount of money and effort building a tikki bar, built in BBQ and hot tub in our garden (it’s a proper one - not inflatable).

As the weather was so nice yesterday and DP’s kids were at their mums we decided to have a garden party/BBQ and invited a few of our friends round early evening.

It was so great to try out the new BBQ, hot tub, and the bar is fab - really fun and quirky decor, inspired by our holidays. Made everyone cocktails!

Only thing is, we’ve put in a new sound system, so wanted to test it. But before you criticise me, it’s not like we expect to be able to play loud music all of the time - only thinking in the afternoons and perhaps a couple of hours on Friday or Saturday nights when kids aren’t staying with us.

Anyway, at 10.30 (so not exactly middle of the night!) our neighbour came and screamed at us over the fence to turn off the music and to stop talking. We weren’t even playing it that loud at that point as had turned it down - so we could all hear each other talk over it without shouting.

She said if we don’t shut up she will call the police! FFS! We’ve only just put it in so of course we wanted to enjoy it.

I’m so angry! We’ve spent thousands and fully intend to enjoy our new outdoor space. We would not play music to the early hours but it really wasn’t that late.

AIBU to just keep using it and make sure music is off before 11? The thought of not being able to enjoy our lovely garden is heartbreaking!

The problem with sound systems is the way sound travels. It might be much louder for a neighbour than in your garden depending on which way the speakers are facing

You want to enjoy your garden

Your neighbours have a right to enjoy their house

You need to find a way to enjoy your garden without disturbing others

Or move to your own private estate

Only on MN can nobody ever have a party unless it’s an order of Trappist monks.

What sort of person has a sound system installed in their garden? Who the fuck thinks thats okay??? Good grief.

@LuckySantangelo35 Our estate has 80 houses. All of us can hear music played in one garden. If you think otherwise, you are deluding yourself.

It depends on how big your garden is. We have a big garden and have an area at the bottom where we entertain, it’s very secluded and when we play loud music, our neighbours could only hear it if they too were at the bottom of their garden. If they were sitting at the top of their garden, they wouldn’t be able to hear it. We planned it this way as there is nothing worse than being subjected to other people’s (often shit) music. If you are playing music loudly and it can be heard clearly by your neighbours, then at 1030pm, this is just inconsiderate.

WTF should everyone else have to listen to selfish people disturbing their peace and quiet?

This. Loud music and shouting is a total dick move OP. Very very selfish. If you want to do that, go inside.

I can't get over the hatred everyone on here has with people enjoying their gardens occasionally. I have a young couple next door who have friends over maybe once a month with a bit of music and fun in their garden which would never bother me and we are in terraced houses.

You sound like nightmare neighbours. Totally wrapped up in yourselves.

This is the kind of thing you build if you have a detached house far from people.

This

@LuckySantangelo35 love your user name

But music obviously does bother most people. You are a minority.

If your music outside had to be turned down so that you could then talk to each other and hear other people then it was far too loud in the first place. Music outside travels far and doesn’t haven’t got be very loud to be heard by a neighbour.

10.30pm would annoy the hell out of me, I wouldn’t say anything as a one off but it would grate on me. Technically yes you can play music till 11pm much like how your neighbours can make noise from 7am or is it 6am? Not sure you would be impressed if they blasted music in their garden at 7am.

😂

Just go around and say the cut off for music is 11pm and you won't be going past that in future so she doesn't need to worry. But I would consider the overall amount of time you where playing music. Say you started at 11am and it went on until 10.30pm that a very long time of neighbour noise. I think 2-3 hours of music is absolute max for me.

You cant really expect to get away with this type of anitsocial behaviour if you have neighbours within earshot of your noise. I for one hate the smell of barbecue, dislike noise, especially other peoples taste in music being inflicted one me, and like to go to bed early, usually about 10 PM. Admitedly I am neurodivergent having Asperbergers, so my tolerance of other people is probably quite low, but I am sure there are many others with similar preferences. To be honest living next door to you would probably make me very distressed to the point of affecting my mental health.

Installing a sound system also implies it’s going to be used regularly. This isn’t a one off party!

although I have to say in the poorer neighbourhood I just moved from the radio was pumping all day. The neighbours didn’t need a garden sound system because the gardens were so small - just blast it in the house and open the back door!!

if you have neighbours within a few enters they will be impacted by a sound system.

I live reading in my garden on a sunny day. I will cry if any of my neighbours installs a garden sound system. It starts blasting a radio!

Idk, I don’t think YABU to occasionally play music on a nice summers evening and personally I think 11pm on a Saturday night is fine. If it were all the time it would be different but two or three times in a summer is really not that much of a big deal. We are having a little do in our garden next Saturday night, people have to learn to live and let live a little bit really.

A bottle of wine and a "Sorry but not sorry enough to stop being selfish" wouldn't cut it for me. I had two young workmen here the other morning, and they mentioned the music coming from the open window of a new neighbour. I didn't think it was reasonable to complain, especially at that time of day, but the workmen both said "You couldn't sit out with that row going on, someone should tell them".

I’m an old granny and I’m fine with my neighbours enjoying their gardens until a reasonable time in the lovely weather, we do the same, often with noisy grandchildren.
But the music? No, I agree with the posters who say they wouldn’t inflict their choice of music on the neighbours through a sound system. I’m learning a Mozart choral piece at the moment for a concert, I wouldn’t inflict that, my choice of music, in the garden through a sound system!
I would be your neighbour, albeit not a shouty rude one, asking you to turn it down, preferably to low levels with no speakers.

It sounds tacky to be honest , British version of Love Island 😂

I can never understand how people who play music outside can't see that everyone wants to enjoy their gardens on the same sunny days. So they are stealing everyone else's peace and quiet, and basically taking over the gardens of say ten other families by imposing their own tastes/wishes on them. It's like walking into those gardens and changing them to suit your needs.

Those families will either have to go inside and the next sunny day they won't bother going out to try and enjoy their gardens because it's too frustrating and stressful waiting to see if the selfish fuckers will be out too - or they'll start blotting out the first selfish fuckers musical taste by playing their own in a race to the bottom.

You have to be either thick or selfish not to be able to think this through for yourself.

This.

I’ve no qualms with you having a bar, hot tub and sound system in your garden, in fact it sounds fun, can I come 😁 but you need to live rurally with a big garden and no real close proximity neighbours for a set up like this.

We live rurally with a big garden, we don’t have a bar/ hot tub but do sometimes have parties/ BBQ’s in the garden with music until 10pm in the summer, but we only have 1 proper neighbour and there is a lot of space between our houses and we keep the music at a normal volume all day/ evening. It’s more there as background noise/ just to create a bit of atmosphere. Neighbours do the same and we’ve never heard each other and that’s the way it should be.

There’s nothing wrong with your set up at all in the right environment but it doesn’t sound like you have the right environment for it really so if you want to get loud, regular use out of it without making enemies then you’ll need to move somewhere where your nearest neighbour is 300 yards away minimum.

Blame Thatcher. There is no such thing as society.