To want to enjoy my garden!

[FunLovinGal]

DP and I have spent a large amount of money and effort building a tikki bar, built in BBQ and hot tub in our garden (it’s a proper one - not inflatable).

As the weather was so nice yesterday and DP’s kids were at their mums we decided to have a garden party/BBQ and invited a few of our friends round early evening.

It was so great to try out the new BBQ, hot tub, and the bar is fab - really fun and quirky decor, inspired by our holidays. Made everyone cocktails!

Only thing is, we’ve put in a new sound system, so wanted to test it. But before you criticise me, it’s not like we expect to be able to play loud music all of the time - only thinking in the afternoons and perhaps a couple of hours on Friday or Saturday nights when kids aren’t staying with us.

Anyway, at 10.30 (so not exactly middle of the night!) our neighbour came and screamed at us over the fence to turn off the music and to stop talking. We weren’t even playing it that loud at that point as had turned it down - so we could all hear each other talk over it without shouting.

She said if we don’t shut up she will call the police! FFS! We’ve only just put it in so of course we wanted to enjoy it.

I’m so angry! We’ve spent thousands and fully intend to enjoy our new outdoor space. We would not play music to the early hours but it really wasn’t that late.

AIBU to just keep using it and make sure music is off before 11? The thought of not being able to enjoy our lovely garden is heartbreaking!

I don't play music outside as I don't think it's fair to inflict it on my neighbours (and we all have quite big gardens and fields opposite so the houses are well spaced out).

My son's having an 18th so I'll let him play music that night, but not stupidly loud, it will go off at 11 and I'll apologise to my neighbours in advance.

While I like listening to music, I'd rather be able to speak to my friends than have to speak over the music (and we all have different taste, so what I'd enjoy may not be the same for them).

All your neighbour did was stop you in your tracks before it became a regular thing, which was your intention. A few hours in the afternoon & Friday & Saturday evenings indeed, & you’re heartbroken 🙄.

If you expect negativity, why do it?

I expected some negativity about the music but WTF is wrong with a hot tub?! Every one has one these days

I've just glanced out of my bedroom window & cannot see a sex pond in any of the 9 gardens I can look into. My son lives in a flat on the 13th floor & he hasn't got one either.

I suspect the number of people with a Tikki bar, built in BBQ, sound system and sex pond are in a tiny minority. Thankfully.

If this is even real, you are completely out of order.

Heartbreaking? Because you can't inflict your noise on your poor neighbours.

Honestly if I was your neighbour I would gladly slap you, your attitude is appalling.

My heart would sink if you were my neighbours. You sound very selfish. It's a shame your DP won't be able to use it to its full potential yes, but it's also a shame your neighbors can't use their houses to their full potential.

You don't seem to understand that you've turned your garden into an entertainment centre which would be fine if you lived somewhere with no neighbours but you haven't taken into account that you are social activities are going to annoy everyone else.

I would dread having a selfish neighbour like you.

I am amazed that this isn’t a reverse.

I expected some negativity about the music but WTF is wrong with a hot tub?! Every one has one these days. Your just criticising for the sake of it now

They make a constant bloody droning hum that is really irritating, that's what. Even when they're not in use.

I had a client who lived next door to a family with a hot tub, and you could hear it even when you were in the house.

How many hours a week do you think all the other neighbours on your street should be allowed to enjoy their gardens OP? Or indeed their own homes ? Because most people will have their windows open at this time of year.

Why can't you enjoy yourself without upsetting others?

Music is my pet hate in gardens. Everyone else has to suffer your bass and/or your taste in music.
So inconsiderate except for very occasional parties that you warn neighbours about in advance and apologise. And by occasional I mean once per year max!

Also based on the timings and days you were planning on using it, you were essentially taking away any time everyone else has to relax. Yes it is not a big amount but most people only have a couple of hours here and there in the weekend and Friday to relax. You are absolutely unreasonable to even build all this. This is the kind of thing you build if you have a detached house far from people.

I strongly suspect yoive not a very big garden and are actually quite close to the neighbours, that and you were much louder than you thought.

we have a bar, and sound system, no hot tub but a fire pit, but we are detached and quite a distance from our neighbours, so we need to really go some for them to hear us, they maintain they never hear us, I’m sure they do faintly.

the issue I suspect is you’ve put all this in a totally unsuitable space. And that issue is never going to go away.

You do know millions of people work weekends, right?

I tend to go to sleep pretty early ( 8 or rarely 9 if up late). So music playing next door at 10:30pm would make me very cranky.

A rare important party for a birthday with a note provided beforehand assuring this will not be a frequent occurance and music will be off at x time and i'd be assured I could catch up on any lost sleep later and plan the next day accordingly, but honestly it happening randomly would make me very angry. I do not cope well on little sleep.

Just reading your posts is making my blood pressure rise. Having friends over, fine, as long as not too loud after 9pm.

Music outside at anytime is so fucking annoying, because funnily enough it’s never what you would have chosen yourself. It really, really grates on me.

How about next time you want to play music outside, you ask your neighbour to compile the play list. Then see what it’s like spending hours listening to someone else’s favourite tunes.

A party once or twice a year, with notice, I could tolerate but no one would set up a home bar for that!

The problem is that unless the music can only be heard in your garden, you are also choosing how your neighbours will spend their evening.

They may well have been looking forward to having the windows open on a hot evening or sitting outside and talking or quietly reading their book.

You are inflicting your choices on everyone within hearing range and they have no way of stopping listening except closing all the windows and staying inside.

Bars and loud music are for beer gardens not back gardens in my view. It’s antisocial to be regularly blasting loud music and acting like you’re at a pub at any time in a residential area. Also it’s trashy.

Is your dh King Gary?

No. Not everyone has one.
annoying constant hum would do my head in.

As your DH is so into his expensive, high quality sound system, how come he doesn’t know that you can buy directional speakers that minimise noise levels outside the ‘beam’ of sound?

Your DP really should have thought things through before he bought his “new toy”.

I’d like a hot tub, but don’t have one because I live in London, with a tiny garden surrounded by other people and it would be phenomenally selfish to inflict it on my neighbours. In fact nobody near me has one, because none of us want to be arsehole neighbours.

I live on a huge council estate with many ahole neighbours. I'm OK with music until 10pm on school nights and 12 on weekends, after that the council noise team get a call.

Urgh you sound nightmare neighbours. Hot tubs are grim. So cheap and tacky. The playing crappy music at night doesn’t surprise me of a hot tub owner.