To want to enjoy my garden!

[FunLovinGal]

DP and I have spent a large amount of money and effort building a tikki bar, built in BBQ and hot tub in our garden (it’s a proper one - not inflatable).

As the weather was so nice yesterday and DP’s kids were at their mums we decided to have a garden party/BBQ and invited a few of our friends round early evening.

It was so great to try out the new BBQ, hot tub, and the bar is fab - really fun and quirky decor, inspired by our holidays. Made everyone cocktails!

Only thing is, we’ve put in a new sound system, so wanted to test it. But before you criticise me, it’s not like we expect to be able to play loud music all of the time - only thinking in the afternoons and perhaps a couple of hours on Friday or Saturday nights when kids aren’t staying with us.

Anyway, at 10.30 (so not exactly middle of the night!) our neighbour came and screamed at us over the fence to turn off the music and to stop talking. We weren’t even playing it that loud at that point as had turned it down - so we could all hear each other talk over it without shouting.

She said if we don’t shut up she will call the police! FFS! We’ve only just put it in so of course we wanted to enjoy it.

I’m so angry! We’ve spent thousands and fully intend to enjoy our new outdoor space. We would not play music to the early hours but it really wasn’t that late.

AIBU to just keep using it and make sure music is off before 11? The thought of not being able to enjoy our lovely garden is heartbreaking!

I think I would be moving my compost bins to the other side of the fence by your tiki bar and hot tub and maybe ordering a half tonne of fresh horse manure as well. Then after your next party I would be cutting my grass at 7 am the next morning whilst listening to some choral music on the tiniest speakers I could find whilst singing along. I am not being anti social just enjoying my garden.

Oh come on - it’s a bit OTT to suggest my party could have made someone suicidal!

Not a one-off party, no, but persistently frequent loud gatherings with hot tubbing, bar use and music throughout the summer might push someone to end up being so desperate for peace and quiet that they have triggering thoughts. There are threads all the time on MN about people being pushed to the brink by selfish arsehole neighbours, and you definitely fall into that category with your 'we paid ££££s for this sound system/bar/sex pond and we're damn well going to use it' attitude.

There's no one quite like grandma by the st winifreds school choir.

Loud and on repeat.

Thats for your neighbours if they're reading this.

Gosh, I'd hate to be your neighbours. Apart from the occasional party (IE once every 6 months), no one should have to suffer hearing YOUR music in their own garden, no matter what the time of day. Totally antisocial and selfish of you.

Just to correct you OP... no,,, everyone does not have a hot tub
You sound very entitled ,, a right,...' sod the neighbours ' type

The thing is OP - you want to enjoy your garden, but other people want to enjoy theirs too! Basically you've opened a pub beer garden in a residential area.

You are forcing your choice of music on your neighbours whether they want it or not. What difference is it to being outside or inside? If the noise was coming through your house wall, it would be the same.
Everybody has the right to the quiet enjoyment of their home. Your neighbours have got your noisy enjoyment of your home forced on them.

if you had a home a huge distance from other houses, nobody would be able to complain.

Oh god you're the worst

on one post the OP said the music was initially so loud they had to shout to each other….. that is not having fun that is being a public nuisance.

Classic.... Though I'd take there's no one quite like grandma over some of the hip hop songs I have to endure from my teenagers

So glad that hot tubs are going out fashion now. Clients scoff at the idea and think they’re tacky.

the same goes for outside bars and sound systems.

Wish we could play “tacky garden bingo” 😂 this one would be an absolute winner!

No one wants to listen to the neighbours music in their garden. There is no ‘cut off’ time. People can report for anti social behaviour at any time of the night and day, literally, if the music or noise is loud and environmental health can confiscate equipment. What’s reasonable to you may not be reasonable to your neighbours.

Jealous jealous people, you will always get someone who comes on ur post to tell u ur doing life wrong haha
my neighbors are like this and it’s quite entertaining
can I have an invite please :)

OP's husband. Is that you?

Also not 'someone'. EVERYONE!

I dont think anyone would seriously feel jealous about a tacky tiki bar, a hot tub and a outdoor sound system . Ok if you live on the beach in the Caribbean but not so much in the drizzle and cold.

I think posts about the tiki bar, hot tub etc being tacky are quite mean. People have different tastes. In terms of noise and annoyance, if it's a one off party, then that's fine. If it's relatively regular, 10.30 feels quite late to me to have music and hot tub going, especially if the hot tub's buzzing can be felt or heard by the neighbours.

Very true that they're out of fashion. DB rents out holiday cottage, agents tried to tell him he needed to put in a hot tub to attract the punters. He said no, cottage is booked solid beyond the end of the year, so clearly the punters really don't care for them.

My ex-neighbours used to have parties every week. I would end up in tears and have to walk the streets to calm down. It set off of my PTSD, feeling utter powerless and at the mercy of another human being to decide when I could sleep which was exactly what my abusive ex would do. I could bare it during the day but in the evening it was just overwhelming. If I saw the bar going up I would move.

it’s a Saturday night! No ones gonna be in bed at 9pm on a Saturday night are they

Me

Exactly - who goes to bed at 9pm?!

Me

Why that is would be no one's business but because you don't do it doesn't happen?

Where I am any noise that is bothering others and is unreasonably loud will be acted upon by police. There is no set time frame you have to stop by or can be unreasonably loud until. You don't get to decide what bothers others.

Jealous jealous people

I always love this response. When ever someone calls someone else out for being unreasonable or doing the wrong thing it's because they're jealous.. That's why. Sure not jealous of inconsiderate neighbours or of your shallowness to assume someone would be jealous of that set up... You must live a very dull life if that would envije jealousy. Or you don't set your bar too high.

*envoke jealousy that should say.

I explained that we would only be wanting to have the occasional ’party’ with loud music - and that normally we would have it nice and low

Have the occasional party with music - it doesn’t need to be loud.

Unless you’re planning to have it over 5+ acres you’ll all be standing right next to the speakers so it doesn’t need to be on loud and that will be really uncomfortable for your guests having to try and shout over the music.
It’s not a very social thing to do.

The other time you don’t need to listen to music outside.
If you’re out there sunbathing then put some headphones on.
If you’re out using the bar then talk to each other.

This gets more cringey the more I read. I can’t help thinking you’re trying to be something you’re not.

I don’t think it’s jealousy on here. For me it’s not, but my comments were one of the mildest

as said, I also have a bar (not tiki I hasten to add) , gas bbq and fire pit. No hot tub as I really don’t wish one, and no external sound system as such, but I do have a powerful external waterproof speaker. However I am detached and far enough away from neighbours to not cause an issue.

the ops issue is she is not in a location suitable for what she’s doing. She’s obviously In very close proximity to her neighbours, and they originally had the music so loud they had to shout over each other. Which is totally unacceptable.

posters are right, it’s awful trying to go about your life when the next door has music banging and them all shouting over it, I’d expect it from teenagers, not grown adults. However I do think some of the comments are over the top, calling it chavvy, tacky etc, it might well be,but it’s besides the point

i get the Impression the op doesn’t really care though and at her next party in two weeks the neighbours are going to have a very disrupted day and night .

I also goto bed at 9am!

I have absolutely no interest in a garden set up like OPs. My garden is all about lovely plants, wildlife and peace.

9pm, 9am would be odd