To want to enjoy my garden!

[FunLovinGal]

DP and I have spent a large amount of money and effort building a tikki bar, built in BBQ and hot tub in our garden (it’s a proper one - not inflatable).

As the weather was so nice yesterday and DP’s kids were at their mums we decided to have a garden party/BBQ and invited a few of our friends round early evening.

It was so great to try out the new BBQ, hot tub, and the bar is fab - really fun and quirky decor, inspired by our holidays. Made everyone cocktails!

Only thing is, we’ve put in a new sound system, so wanted to test it. But before you criticise me, it’s not like we expect to be able to play loud music all of the time - only thinking in the afternoons and perhaps a couple of hours on Friday or Saturday nights when kids aren’t staying with us.

Anyway, at 10.30 (so not exactly middle of the night!) our neighbour came and screamed at us over the fence to turn off the music and to stop talking. We weren’t even playing it that loud at that point as had turned it down - so we could all hear each other talk over it without shouting.

She said if we don’t shut up she will call the police! FFS! We’ve only just put it in so of course we wanted to enjoy it.

I’m so angry! We’ve spent thousands and fully intend to enjoy our new outdoor space. We would not play music to the early hours but it really wasn’t that late.

AIBU to just keep using it and make sure music is off before 11? The thought of not being able to enjoy our lovely garden is heartbreaking!

It sounds like hell to me, too.
Other people inflicting their taste in music on neighbours, alongside inevitable drunken screeching and loud shrieks from hot tub

No one wants to listen to cackling, drunken voices shouting over a sound system .
Yuck.

The sort of people who enjoy hot tubs are the loud arrogant people who make lots of noise.

And PS if I were your neighbours I’d haul the speakers outside and put Wagner on at maximum volume. People like you always think it’s fine until it’s not their music and not at their convenience.

This.

A chavvy sex pond and "serious sound system" outdoors?

Neighbours from fucking hell.

If my neighbours fitted a sound system in their garden I would take a hammer to it. I hope someone does the same to yours 🖕🏼

I’m baffled at the idea that loud music is acceptable at any time. There’s having some music on that you can hear but that isn’t at a volume that’s going to bother others, and then there’s being an utter dick.

You sound very much like the latter. I used to have neighbours like you, who thought they could do what they liked during the day/well into the evening as they had the right to enjoy themselves, and that right trumped anything else. They’ve gone now and we were all heartily glad to see the back of them.

You are the neighbours from Hell.

This is still going?

You're good, OP.

Your title says “To want to enjoy my garden”.

Everyone around you also wants the same. To want to enjoy their garden.

But for your neighbours this means without your garden sound system playing music outside.

What is so difficult to understand here? Nobody is asking you to stop enjoying your garden but it’s not unreasonable to expect you to enjoy your garden without the accompanying music from your external sound system.

You even have the temerity to suggest having your music on low for a while so your neighbours aren’t bothered too much. But why should they be bothered by your music outside at all?

You are getting fairly unanimous answers here telling you it’s selfish behaviour so surely it would be wise to take stock of the situation by enjoying your hot tub and bar but without music.

@ChronicallyOnline
The same happens when we go camping now, everybody used to have their music on low so that their own group could hear it but not so loud that other people can't hear their own or have to listen to other families shouting over their own loud music, now there's always at least two groups with massive speakers on so loud they're forcing the whole campsite to have to listen to their music and chat, and I think that sort of thing is becoming common in gardens now.

We we’re camping in France a few years ago on a fairly tranquil site.
On the Saturday morning the people in the tent opposite had a very loud argument.
That night we went out for a meal and on our return there was a wedding party in the hall on the other side of the road playing very loud music. A group of camper vans had turned up on the site, in one van someone was vomiting loudly, the other vans were having a party and the couple who had been arguing in the morning were either having an asthma attack or make up sex.
The noisiest was our dog who kept barking at the unexpected disturbance!
We lay in our tent laughing to ourselves and pleased it was just one night.

I’m an old fogey, my kids are all grown up so we’re quite quiet now.
However I wouldn’t begrudge anyone having fun in their garden.
Sound system may be a bit much but music not too loud, hot tub, a few drinks and chatting wouldn’t bother me. I’d just shut my doors and turn my telly up.
We have turned into a nation of moaners.
Let people have fun.

I’m baffled at the idea that loud music is acceptable at any time. There’s having some music on that you can hear but that isn’t at a volume that’s going to bother others, and then there’s being an utter dick.

I go in a pub and there is a certain number of customers who ask for music to be turned up as they can't hear it, the reason they can't hear it as they talk so loud. And putting the music up just makes them talk louder, everyone leaves when they come in.

Reminds me of the song: It's All About You (and fuck everyone else).

So glad that someone is happy to have someone else's taste in music blaring into their house and garden. I'm an old fogey too and it's the last thing I'd want. It's totally selfish.

But I don't want to listen to your music when I'm outside, I don't want my dark sky disturbed by flashing lights when I'm watching the stars, or screeching from people in hot tubs that are enjoying a drink or 3.

Oh god. This has made me anxious. I've lived next door to this and its horrible. All you can think is that you right to noise and enjoyment trumps your neighbors right to quiet enjoyment.

How would you feel if your neighbor did the same to you but at different times? Perhaps when you were tired, unwell, wanted quiet? I bet you wouldnt be ok with it then.

For the poster which said to close the doors and turn the TV up. With my ex neighbors you could hear it thumping through my entire house even with the doors shut and the tv. Would you be ok with it then?

Flashing lights and blaring music are detrimental to the quality of life lived by nesting birds and small mammals. Think it was Packham who cautioned against the "indoor living" trend as outdoor lighting affects birds, insects and even plants.

I don't have holidays, I can't afford them. My dcs are grown up.
But I have my garden. For 25 years I've worked in it. It's my haven and safe space. It's full of wildlife. I can hear the road a bit. Neighbours grandchildren now and then. Lawn mowers now and then. That's it.
OP, you reacted incredulously when someone suggested you would make them suicidal.
You would make me suicidal. I couldn't bear the 'party voices' in the hot tub. Or the lights. The music would destroy me. However 'quiet.'

I don't know how you dare suggest anything else. Did you imagine that it would be inaudible to your neighbours? Did you think they'd like it? Did you think, tough if they didn't, it's cost you thousands?

Your entitled selfishness is horrible.
.

I’ll just have to enjoy the bar and hot tub for now and keep the music low until things settle down.

Why do you need the music at any volume where other people can hear it? If you want it for yourself, wear earphones.

I don't understand why your husband didn't install his new toy indoors anyway. Why assume that your neighbours want to hear your choice of music?

Op you are incredibly insensitive to not realise how you afrect others, aside from that why don't you invite nearby neighbours to these parties, it might lessen the complaints!

*affect

A proper sound system, installed indoors if you're in a semi is just as bad. Believe me, I live attached on one side to a dickhead who has one.

You can hear it blaring in the garden, because they sit in the garden blasting it with the doors open. So you go into the house to escape it and shut the doors, and still you can hear it thudding through your walls.

Unless you're detached, serious sound systems shouldn't be allowed in residential areas - and even with detached houses they cause problems with garden noise. It's just shitty, selfish behaviour of the highest order.

It would be polite if you let them know. And try to let them know roughly what time it will finish. Its not really up to her to let you know of its ok.

I had lots of leaflets from my local council abd under noise complaints it said they do not do anything about occasional party's. I'm not sure if how often you said would be classed as occasional?

I often see people making complaints on neighbourhood sites. They seem to be seasonal. So at the moment it's the typical summer complaints. People playing music. People having bbq. Kids being noisy. Adults being a bit loud.

Yes exactly this

you come across as entitled and ignorant. It’s not occasional every couple of weeks is it. You have zero consideration for your neighbours.

it will always be their problem and not your fault

It was tacky in 2020

In 2022 it's just laughable

www.idealhome.co.uk/news/worst-garden-trends-of-all-time-revealed-249489