To want to enjoy my garden!

[FunLovinGal]

DP and I have spent a large amount of money and effort building a tikki bar, built in BBQ and hot tub in our garden (it’s a proper one - not inflatable).

As the weather was so nice yesterday and DP’s kids were at their mums we decided to have a garden party/BBQ and invited a few of our friends round early evening.

It was so great to try out the new BBQ, hot tub, and the bar is fab - really fun and quirky decor, inspired by our holidays. Made everyone cocktails!

Only thing is, we’ve put in a new sound system, so wanted to test it. But before you criticise me, it’s not like we expect to be able to play loud music all of the time - only thinking in the afternoons and perhaps a couple of hours on Friday or Saturday nights when kids aren’t staying with us.

Anyway, at 10.30 (so not exactly middle of the night!) our neighbour came and screamed at us over the fence to turn off the music and to stop talking. We weren’t even playing it that loud at that point as had turned it down - so we could all hear each other talk over it without shouting.

She said if we don’t shut up she will call the police! FFS! We’ve only just put it in so of course we wanted to enjoy it.

I’m so angry! We’ve spent thousands and fully intend to enjoy our new outdoor space. We would not play music to the early hours but it really wasn’t that late.

AIBU to just keep using it and make sure music is off before 11? The thought of not being able to enjoy our lovely garden is heartbreaking!

People, especially those that have maybe had a few drinks, have no idea how much sound travels at night.

I have absolutely no problem with any neighbours having an occasional party outdoors, we are all allowed to have enjoyment of our house and garden. I'd like it if they said beforehand though and I think it should be taken indoors at about 10 ish and certainly quieter from 9 ish.

No-one is saying anyone needs to go to bed at 9pm. What you can do though is take the party indoors where it's less likely to disturb others.

If it's a regular thing then I think you need to be generally quieter and indoors earlier. And however good you think your music taste is, no-one else wants to hear it pretty much ever.

A bar, a sound system and a hot tub. Guaranteed to wind your neighbours and us up!

Yabu on all counts.

Even in the afternoon, all surrounding gardens (& if loud enough, houses) willbe forced to tolerate hours of your music!
It's really inconsiderate & anti-social to destroy the peace for all your neigbours because you insist on an outoor sound system.

Oh wow you sound like very selfish neighbours! Music on until 10:30 too?! Your poor neighbours

OMG my neighbours built similar and it was a nightmare tbh. Music inside til late at
night is one thing but music outside regularly is really annoying.

We moved!

WTF is wrong with a hot tub?! Every one has one these days

Ewww no they don't. I'd rather shit in my hands and clap, thanks.

As they say - money doesn’t buy you class

A garden sound system? That's so unreasonable, how can you possibly not have any idea about that?!

If we lived next door to you my autistic son would have meltdowns every single time you used it. He would be absolutely petrified.

Wtf are you thinking?

In some areas you would need planning permission for the tiki bar (depending on size) and the hot tub, particularly as the latter is not on a patio or in a structure attached to the house.

Hopefully your neighbours will read this thread and make enquiries with the council to find out whether you have obtained the required permissions (as well as reporting the noise nuisance to environmental health!).

Other people's music outside is really annoying. Even in the afternoon. You can't just enjoy some peace outside with your family, instead you have to have someone else's choice of music. I don't mine talking, hearing kids playing, but music on a sound system is too much. You are affecting so many more people than your direct neighbours with it.

You need to separate out your financial and practical investment from the living situation. The fact it was longed for and a considerable investment does not negate your responsibilities to be a good neighbour. Your neighbour was not on great form to come round and yell and threaten police involvement in the first instance but if you can be the bigger person, go round and apologise and discuss what time music might bother them less and perhaps play around with the volume a bit until you find something that you all agree on.

I love the irony of you thinking you will only use the outdoor sound system when your kids are not with you, so as to not disturb them but hey who cares about the neighbours?

Most people have no problem with their neighbours having people over and enjoying time in their garden and accept the occasional party is just part of life.

But they do have a problem with inconsiderate neighbours who subject everyone around them to their ongoing music played outside. You are suggesting you want to do this regularly. It’s just simply antisocial forcing your music upon the neighbours with you using a sound system in your bloody garden.

My BIL does this all Summer and it drives one of his neighbours nuts. Every weekend sitting outside, long family bbqs, friends round, just sitting in the garden on a sunny day everyone else has to listen to his music outside. It’s wrong, it’s unfair and it’s selfish.

They definitely do not. 🤮 Inflatable or not, no chance.

The difference here is your neighbours want to enjoy their gardens in a way that doesn't negatively affect anyone else in your neighbourhood. But you do.

Even in an afternoon loud music can be annoying for others wanting to use their gardens. Our neighbours have a similar set up but stop music around 8-9 even if they continue quietly using the hot tub. If they're going to have a late one it's 1-2 x a year tbh and they are really careful so brill neighbours! Remember even things like tipsy laughter travel far at night so your neighbours may be feeling quite anxious about your set up.

You installed a proper sound system into a regular garden? That’s bonkers. And the cut off is 11pm for a reason so yes 10:30pm may be legal doesn’t make it right without a heads up to a neighbour. In fact loud outside parties should also be planned in advance with warning to neighbours.

my children are in bed by then so just because you’ve got a child free night doesn’t mean others do.

My neighbour has a hot tub and movie shack and I can say I’ve only actually heard it excessively once and that was because mum was away so the teenagers shall play. Yet they use it all the time suitably.

Surely a wind-up post.
Sounds completely nightmarish and ghastly.
Deeply selfish and I empathise with your neighbours.

When you’ve got neighbours who are noisy, it’s the unknown length of time they’ll be noisy for that causes much of the anxiety. Popping round with a bottle of wine to reassure them you’re not going to be a nightmare every weekend and a promise to give them a heads up if you ever do have the music on for longer/louder than normal will go a long way I’m sure to smoothing things over.

I don't think this is a wind up. This country is just full of selfish cunts.

I have a beautiful balcony that gets the sun in the afternoon. I've spent loads of time making it really pretty, with planters, hanging potted plants, tiny lights and a cosy bucket seat and a hammock.

I barely ever get to enjoy it between the arsehole downstairs smoking weed constantly, the people a few doors down playing music on a sound system, and a constantly barking dog. I'm basically prevented from enjoying part of my own home because of other people's shitty, selfish behaviour.

When I do get to sit out, I don't bother anyone. I sit and read with a coffee or a glass of wine. Why is that so challenging? To enjoy your space without infringing on everyone around you?

Also - the time that people go to bed is irrelevant. They don't want it when they're awake OR when they're trying to sleep.

Agreed. My son had an A level exam on Friday and someone was still playing loud music at 11pm on Thursday. It was also a hot night so hard to sleep without the windows open (although you could still hear it with the window shut).

Unless it's a couple of times a year party, I think it's very selfish and antisocial to inflict your music on your neighbours. You can enjoy chatting over lunch or dinner with friends without needing music.

So you wanting to enjoy your garden means to hell with anyone else wishing to enjoy theirs? You sound like a nightmare neighbour.

Re the hot tub. We have one, an inflatable. DH and I are the only ones who use it. It’s meant to be big enough for 4 but like hell is it - four small children or hobbits maybe, so we don’t have hot tub parties We use it in the afternoon mainly, never late at night. We don’t play music. We just sit in it and chat, sometimes with a glass of something. We certainly don’t have sex in it. What is wrong with that?

Not only a sound system, but in your OP you said that you and your friends had been shouting to each other over the music! I'd scream at you too if that had been going on for hours.