To want to enjoy my garden!

[FunLovinGal]

DP and I have spent a large amount of money and effort building a tikki bar, built in BBQ and hot tub in our garden (it’s a proper one - not inflatable).

As the weather was so nice yesterday and DP’s kids were at their mums we decided to have a garden party/BBQ and invited a few of our friends round early evening.

It was so great to try out the new BBQ, hot tub, and the bar is fab - really fun and quirky decor, inspired by our holidays. Made everyone cocktails!

Only thing is, we’ve put in a new sound system, so wanted to test it. But before you criticise me, it’s not like we expect to be able to play loud music all of the time - only thinking in the afternoons and perhaps a couple of hours on Friday or Saturday nights when kids aren’t staying with us.

Anyway, at 10.30 (so not exactly middle of the night!) our neighbour came and screamed at us over the fence to turn off the music and to stop talking. We weren’t even playing it that loud at that point as had turned it down - so we could all hear each other talk over it without shouting.

She said if we don’t shut up she will call the police! FFS! We’ve only just put it in so of course we wanted to enjoy it.

I’m so angry! We’ve spent thousands and fully intend to enjoy our new outdoor space. We would not play music to the early hours but it really wasn’t that late.

AIBU to just keep using it and make sure music is off before 11? The thought of not being able to enjoy our lovely garden is heartbreaking!

@FunLovinGal if you only use it when you don’t have the kids why can’t you arrange to have your parties earlier in the day? You do need to think about your neighbours who may have children or who are elderly or need to get up early.

am willing to turn the music off earlier if so many people think it’s a problem but DP will be gutted not to get full use of his new toy

how did he envisage using the sound system? They are expensive so I am sure he didn’t install it to use every few times a year?

did he consider the impact on neighbours? How close are your neighbours? I assume you don’t live rurally?

you both sound really selfish.

Estimate how many other households can hear your music from your garden. That's how many people can't enjoy their gardens while you enjoy yours.

I'm surprised by the pile on here, honestly. Music in gardens and hot tubs are annoying, but they're just a part of living in close proximity to people. My neighbours have a hot tub and to be absolutely honest I'd rather they didn't, but they have a right to enjoy their garden how they want as long as it's after 9am and before 11pm. I'm sure my kid's tantrums and banging stuff around the house annoys my neighbours too, but we live and let live. To lose it about music at 10.30 is really unreasonable IMO

If this is real… I think that things like this are easier to manage when you’re on good terms with the neighbours.

the noise is just more tolerable if you know who is making it and it’s even easier if you like them!

Oh I think this is real on the basis that selfish people like this DO exist. My neighbours for example, who are attached to us. They have a sound system which they use every other weekend, so not super frequently but enough to make by blood pressure rise and heart sink every single time I see they've got visitors on a Friday or Saturday. Because I know that means no matter what I've got going on in my life, no matter how much I might want a quiet relaxing evening and an early night - tough shit. I might as well just invite them in and let them take over my house and garden too.

Theirs is so loud it's clearly audible in the garden, along with them and their gobshite mates who shout over the music. It's also audible in every room downstairs of my (not small!) house. Thud thud thud, boom boom boom. They also have a shitty fire pit which they burn damp wood on that stinks, smokes like hell and means I can't open windows in the evening in the summer.

Oh, and they send their kids away every time they do it to stay with grandparents... with no consideration for my similarly aged small kids who are trying unsuccessfully to sleep in baking hot bedrooms with windows shut too!

We've spoken to them so many times and asked them to keep it down, to move the fire pit. They act like we're the most miserable sods on earth. No, just every single time you decide you want to enjoy your house, it means that basically we can't use the downstairs of our house or garden, or even ignore it and sleep well because the windows have to be shut and even then we can still hear it in bed. Every single time they do it now we go and knock and ask them to turn it down which I know annoys them and we're getting a reputation amongst their friends as the horrible neighbours who moan all the time. Hmm... well how the fuck do you think we feel, having to come and knock every time?

They also say 'the music goes off by 11 which is the law'. Yes it does, mostly. But there's the law and then there's not being an inconsiderate arsehole. What about 6-11pm where we've not been able to sit on our own living room and watch a film, or sit in the dining room and eat dinner because the noise is clearly audible over the tv and you struggle to hold a conversation over it?

We're moving soon. To a detached house in the middle of the arse end of nowhere if I can't find one!! I've still got this summer to get through though because we can't move until the end of the year and I am absolutely dreading summer because of them. It will become more frequent as the weather improves.

No one minds a bit of occasional normal living noise and most people don't mind the occasional noisy party with a bit of prior warning and consideration. No one likes frequently being disturbed by other people's noise, whatever it is, in their own home. It's the height of selfish behaviour.

OP you sound like my worst nightmare and you're very very unreasonable. You should apologise to your neighbours and if you and your DH want to make regular noise like that then you should move to somewhere where you aren't going to disturb people. Can't afford it? Tough then. Be quiet, and live like a considerate human being!

Well it can in my neighbourhood

I'd go absolutely nuts if my neighbour was playing music in their garden til 1030 - let alone on a sound system! Hire a bloody venue!

I think the neighbour was being OTT, and that’s coming from someone who has young children and is a shift worker and often up at 6am.

If it’s an occasional thing it’s not an issue. I personally would have waited to see how often it was going to be and then said something if it was happening multiple times a week every week.

We’ve spent some time this last week getting our garden summer ready (new garden furniture, plants, parasol etc) and these sort of threads just make me so anxious about even using the garden at all. We don’t play music outside but the gardens are small and you often wonder if you even sitting outside talking to your partner while the two kids run around is going to piss people off 😕. Makes you not want to go into the garden at all a lot of the time.

Pp mine have a wood fired hot tub against my fence and they light every single sunny weekend. Selfish fuckers

@puffalo normal garden noise is absolutely fine. Gardens are to enjoy - kids play and laugh and call out to each other - adults chat and laugh.

that is all part of suburban life. And the lawnmowers!!

but a sound system is awful.

Heartbreaking? I would have said exactly the same- up to 10 is fair enough, but after that is too late.

Other people's music is hellish.

The tacky bar, hot tub etc. is your own rotten taste to enjoy as you like.
I suppose.

This

Right now I’m in my garden and I can hear the music from three gardens away. And I expect you could hear it a couple more gardens over. So that would be ten houses that could hear it on our street.

It’s annoying but it’s part of living in suburbia.

Is this not a reverse?

You sound like nightmare neighbours. An outdoor music system is only acceptable if you live a long way from anyone else. Very selfish.

It is extremely antisocial for anybody not living in a detached house in the middle of nowhere to have an outdoor sound system. Your neighbours also want to enjoy their gardens, including afternoons and Friday and Saturday evenings.

This is a joke thread, right?

Speakers in the garden are trashy and antisocial even during the day. Why do you think every other person in the vicinity wants to listen to your choice of music? People might want to relax with a book, listen to the birds, and instead they have to put up with your noise. Playing music at night is beyond selfish.

EXACTLY THIS!

To be honest I would resent anyone playing any type of music at any time in their garden. I like relative peace and quiet (garden machinery, kids playing etc. all fine) not someone else's choice of music for any length of time.
So the occasional party, maybe a couple of times per year per neighbour with advance warning would be fine but any more would annoy me.

I genuinely don't understand why anyone would install a 'sound system' in their garden unless they were an utter dickhead. It's so clearly unreasonable to be playing music outdoors when you are surrounded by neighbours.

No one wants to hear YOUR choice of music at any time of day or night, frankly.

Posters saying Mumsnet users hate people playing music are completely missing the point; it's not limited to "Mumsnet users". No one wants to hear their neighbours playing music.

@strawberriesarenot

urgh how snobby

does it matter if stuff is a bit ‘tacky’ sometimes ?! So long as it’s fun?!

honestly! Let your hair down a bit

it’s not like we expect to be able to play loud music all of the time - only thinking in the afternoons and perhaps a couple of hours on Friday or Saturday nights when kids aren’t staying with us.

Wow, just wow.
So fuck everyone that has kids.
And FYI constant noise is bad enough but the arseholes that do it every so often are even worse because you never know when it will start or stop,

Luckily the issue can be solved with a pair of wire cutters.

Truly ghastly. If I were the OP's neighbour, I'd be tempted to start rehearsing for reenactments of the Battle of Waterloo in my garden at 6am the following morning...

My dm used to do nights and dreaded Sunday mornings when the church bells rang for an hour at 10 am.
She didn’t complain though because that’s just part of village life.