Why are girls so horrible

[Janinebutcher79]

Dd10 is in a small class and some of the girls are just so bloody horrible and nasty. I get frustrated as I want my dd10 to stick up for herself but she wants to take the higher ground, which is lovely I know but I worry about her being taken advantage off!

You’re right.
My DD was lucky with her year group at a tiny primary school - only 4 girls and they were fine. Her friends out of school were a different matter. Constant drama between them all - in school and out. Bitching, backstabbing, ostracising,
Luckily, DD escaped all that until high school.

Let your DD take the higher ground.
If she can brush them off or ignore what they are saying that’s goid.
Keep an eye on it though & keep talking to her.

I'm.not sure it's just girls!

YABU for sexist question.

Imagine the uproar if you had ask why are boys so horrible!

Jeez I’m not being sexist I’m just saying it’s the girls being horrible to my daughter.
if it were the boys too I would have put kids! Sorry didn’t think to be PC in my upset for my daughter!

It's a developmental thing of figuring out how society works, but it absolutely sucks. I think the years between about 11 and 13 were some of the hardest in my life, largely due to a particular clique of girls whose names I could still tell you. Most women I know say that they had a really difficult time of it in early adolescence. It does get better (I'm social media friends with almost all of them now and they're perfectly lovely people) but it's miserable.

Sweet mystery - that’s it it’s the ostracising that is awful. I’m hoping that secondary school
will be better this year group has been awful!

Because the parents do not and will not believe that their child is capable of it and will argue with school that the teacher is lying.

You read it on here all the time, ‘ My Little Gilly is a sensitive child blah, blah, blah… she was only trying to blah, blah, blah… she ALWAYS tells the truth…’
No! You’re child is actually a nasty bully who lies to you constantly and YOU dear irritating parent think the sun shines out of her nasty, bitchy arse! Well love , the apple hasn’t fallen far from the tree….
I know I’m now going to be slammed as a ‘nasty’, ‘ judgy’ teacher who you wouldn’t want teaching your precious children. Well guess what! I don’t want to teach them either!

Honestly, I feel SO much better for that!!

A lot of grown ups are horrible too. I guess it's just what happens. Shit though:(

Secondary school will be better if she manages to find "her people"

They grow out of it! Boys can be pretty mean to each other too, year 9/10 is when this peaks for boys ime.

People can be horrible - I get fed up with lazy thinking that girls are bitchy and horrible, I had boy-girl twins and I could say it was the boys that were horrible and bullying, had very little experience of bullying girls.

Seashor I don't think that is an unreasonable post at all. Refreshing if anything.

Not all girls are horrible. The ones that I know, have horrible mums. I think they learn it from them.

My son has been bullied since year 1, now in year 5. It's the same group of boys all the time. They do all the standard bullying stuff, from low level physical stuff to social exclusion. It's not just girls. I also think parents are not on top of it. The boys parents were called in by the school (who confirmed that the bullying was taking place) and not a single one had the courage to call me. When I was on the other side of the fence (my daughter was involved), I phoned the parents in question to apologise and tell them that a)I was on the case with my child and b) they could call any time if there was any repeat performance. Parents could do much better.

You should read that back, if you wonder why people accuse you of being sexist. In the above statement you just doubled down on it.

Years 5-8 can be difficult with girls (no experience of boys so can't comment on them.)
They mature at different rates, some still wanting to play with Barbies whilst others are into makeup etc.
Some girls use their better emotional intelligence to know how to hurt others with words, thus making themselves feel more solid in the local pecking order.

So if it was boys, you would have said kids

People of both sexes can be horrible.

DD1 had a pretty bad primary school class - we now realise lots of kids in her class
had serious issues and she got bullied by a boy and a girl.

DD2 was in the same school and had a wonderful class. They all played together.

Both DDs had great friendship experiences at secondary.

I don't think it's just girls - women seem to be just as bad judging by some of the threads on here.

Cliques at the school gates, excluding one person from a holiday & setting up separate WhatsApp groups so they don't know about it, people seeing all their 'friends' at a party through social media photos & clearly being excluded, the list goes on.

There always seems to be some queen bee & people are complicit as they don't stand up to it & question why certain people are excluded.

I would have used a word to describe whoever was subjecting my daughter to this horrible ongoing bullying, boys, girls , teachers! How I wish I hadn’t didn’t realise the focus would actually be on that when I’m a mother who has had her lot with watching my daughter being subjected to bullying that has gone on for years and years!
to be honest I won’t bother posting again as people seem more concerned about me using the word girls!

And sorry but yes the bullying and horrible behaviours are coming from the girls in the class and not boys!

No she said “boys too” meaning boys and girls. Honestly I think the OP was just asking about her experience and she’s obviously upset. It’s awful when your kids are being ostracised so I imagine the OP could do without the PC corrections.

Girls tend to bitch at that ages, boys tend to fights ( taught behaviour), girls and boy also mix much less at that age ( probably biology)

Stereotypes or factual observations - which can become harmful stereotypes or can be used to help understand the problem and identify solution ?

It's an unfortunate stereotype but I certainly saw it played out when both I was at school, and with my friend's daughters and the girls my sons know at both primary and secondary.
A lot of the girls in my DS's primary class were bitchy and exclusionary from fairly early on. I check my DS's WhatsApp messages (plus talk to him!) and the conversations by the girls about other girls are really unpleasant. My friends have DD's at the local girls school and again it sounds like bitchiness and being mean is rife.
I only have boys, so my time may come with social problems etc.
But unfortunately, in my experience, girls in general (absolutely not all girls) can be really unpleasant