Why are girls so horrible

[Janinebutcher79]

Dd10 is in a small class and some of the girls are just so bloody horrible and nasty. I get frustrated as I want my dd10 to stick up for herself but she wants to take the higher ground, which is lovely I know but I worry about her being taken advantage off!

Sorry show me where I said it’s only girls ?

I disagree and I know how I intended it. I am a girl and have a girl who I certainly do not think is awful quite the opposite.
I have some lovely girl friends and so does my dd
I said why are girls so horrible and described my frustration at what was happening to my daughter, which is because of girls in her class.

Thank you that means a lot xx

This 👏 👏

Ex teacher here - Y6 girls always problematic, year after bloody year. Some of the bullying that went on actually made me cry. One that sticks in my mind was a lovely quiet girl with possible ASD, who would be told by the Queen Bee and her gang that she could play with them, she was so delighted and happy. After about two days of this, she would rush up to her new pals in the playground and they would cold shoulder her - "why would we want to play with you?!!"

By the time they get to senior school, they go back to being small fish in a big pond and usually settle down. It tends to be the boys that have issues establishing a pecking order in Y7.

So people calling out casual sexism are bullies? That's a bit of a stretch!

I hate to say so but I think it's true. It's down to socialisation and how girls socialise.

So people calling out casual sexism are bullies? That's a bit of a stretch!

Well quite. But no, apparently objecting to someone saying that girls en masse are horrible is political correctness gorn mad, I tell you! Fgs.

I said why are girls so horrible

Exactly. Can you really not see the difference between saying girls are horrible, and saying some (orthese particular) girls are horrible? It seems pretty obvious to me that the former is a completely unreasonable sweeping statement and the latter is not only totally reasonable but obviously true.

I work on MH wards separate sex and it's the same dynamic. The females collude will exclude another patient some even arranged over WhatsApp to beat another patient up when staff were in between the 15 minute check. The men would normally ignore eachother , exchange occasional hellos. They would have the occasional physical fight but it would be over , the females would keep up the arguments , squabbles and actively collude with each other.

They also held grudges for a very long time. I've chosen to mostly work on male wards for my own mental health I have ASD I hate saying this as I'm a feminist but it's how we socialise which seems to be psychologically nasty at times.

I hate making sweeping generalisations but I have had the same experience.

It's the parents usually.

I'll probably be flames but I was unkind to a girl once as a teen. My dad marched me round, apologised to her and her parents and made me apologise to them all and I'm so thankful he did.

School in general was hell for me the whole way through. I did the work but hardly ever went to school. As long as my grades were good no one really minded. One of the boys regularly physically bullied me, even had me pinned by my throat in front of the teacher and nothing ever came of it. His parents thought the sun shines out his arse.

Teachers/schools can be lily-livered shites though, they are often very poor at sorting out bullying - too many times it has happened with both boys and girls and they've done bugger all.

This is spot on.
It is why the voting is pretty evenly split at the moment.

With a different question you would have got very different answers and no doubt a lot more support, but people will always answer what you ask / respond to any 'statements' you make.

@Janinebutcher79 and @OverEggedPudding Absolutely. Parents. Society does make girls (and boys) compete for attention, but ultimately it’s poor parenting that creates bullies - 99% of the time. Poor parenting includes poor role models. The nasty, gossipy, competitive, ‘Who does she think is?’ brigade, with too much time on their hands, have nasty children.

The best parenting advice I ever got was to watch how I spoke about people in front of my dcs. I have stuck to that and like to think I have kind and empathetic dcs.

The best parenting advice I ever got was to watch how I spoke about people in front of my dcs. I have stuck to that and like to think I have kind and empathetic dcs
I totally agree with this.
I never said anything negative or gave an opinion about people out and about until one day when Ds2 was 16 and for some reason I said something negative about someone. Ds2looked at ne horrified andcssud ' since when did you become so judgemental about people'
I have noticed my two young(ish) adults dont judge or bitch about people and will happily chat with absolutely everyone!

Yes, in my experience they have been a nightmare. You sound like my mum - I eventually did stand up for myself, in time and your DD will probably do the same ❤️

Nomorefuckstogive · Yesterday 14:02

I think, in a less patriarchal society, there would be less bitchiness, TBH. I doubt it would be completely erased.

Well I guess it's good to be an overwhelming optimist, especially as we're never likely to put your theory to the test as there's unlikely to be a society you don't think patriarchal.

I was bullied by a group of mean girls in school relentlessly. The ONLY thing that kept me going in school and lead to me being a semi-functioning adult was the unrelenting support and love from my parents (but mainly my mum). We had meetings with the school, meetings with the girls' parents, my mum took me out of school and home schooled me for a year, got me into another school for a fresh start. She didn't give up on me and she knew how bad it was and how much it impacted me, despite it being "just schoolgirl bullying" to a lot of people I spoke to. She got me into therapy at age to help with my self-esteem issues, she would host brilliant sleepovers and days out for me and my classmates so I would make new friends.

Honestly, I am 23 now. I still can't look at my time in school with anything other than resentment for how badly I was treated and how the staff looked the other way to the bullying, but my number one cheerleader was always my Mum and if you can be there for your daughter, listen to her and take her seriously, you will already be helping her more than you realise.

I also understand why you said "girls" rather than "kids". I was bullied by boys sometimes at my school but it never bothered me, it was just silly name calling or someone kicking a football my way. The girls were the ones who were snidey, giggly, pointing and whispering, complex plots to include and then suddenly exclude someone just to upset them. I've been witness to it so many times before, it's baffling.

Ex teacher here - Y6 girls always problematic, year after bloody year. Some of the bullying that went on actually made me cry

Did you actually try to intervene in any way or did you just watch from afar (I don't believe for a minute you cried). In my primary school some of the teachers seemed to actively encourage bullying.

I think, in a less patriarchal society, there would be less bitchiness, TBH. I doubt it would be completely erased

Do you think so? I can imagine there might be less "need" to show off to boys in a co-ed school. But I went to an all girls' secondary and they were awful - with no boys to show off to.

ultimately it’s poor parenting that creates bullies - 99% of the time. Poor parenting includes poor role models. The nasty, gossipy, competitive, ‘Who does she think is?’ brigade, with too much time on their hands, have nasty children

Maybe to some extent. It could well be the case when I think of a couple of the girls in my primary school.

But there was a bullying sneery culture in my senior school and they couldn't all have had bitchy mothers!

I also thought there was quite a sneery tell-tale culture on my son's coed school, although I did think that was egged on to some extent by some of the more stupid parents with nothing to do.

Did you actually try to intervene in any way or did you just watch from afar (I don't believe for a minute you cried). In my primary school some of the teachers seemed to actively encourage bullying.

Of course I tried to stop it. The major issue was that my Y7 counterpart was male and just refused to accept that the girls were acting like this deliberately.

You don't believe for a minute that I cried? What an odd thing to say. I can only think that's your own childhood issues talking - I am sorry you had such a shit time but yes, some teachers do have empathy.

Girls and women's conversations are different to boys and men.
You do hear females talking about other people alot without realising what the person they are talking about might think of them.
Women tend to ask each other things like have they got children, grandchildren. I never get men ask that. The convo is different.
What ppl don't realise when they are talking about people behind their backs is that they may well one day be the one people are talking about.

Girls are nastier I find. Boys just tend to beat the tar out of each other and the matter is done with but girls bullying is more insidious.