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Original poster

Why are girls so horrible

228 replies

Janinebutcher79 · 12/06/2022 08:23

Dd10 is in a small class and some of the girls are just so bloody horrible and nasty. I get frustrated as I want my dd10 to stick up for herself but she wants to take the higher ground, which is lovely I know but I worry about her being taken advantage off!

OP posts:
Picoloangel · 14/06/2022 16:08

I agree that this isn’t a uniquely gender based problem but as the mother of a girl I hate this “Oh girls are just mean/bitchy etc” narrative.
These qualities are not inherently part of being female and I hate that so many parents and teachers see them as such. It comes down to parenting IMO. My DD is big hearted, mature and kind. She finds this behaviour in other girls upsetting but refuses to get involved. We should do better.

ancientgran · 14/06/2022 17:12

Picoloangel · 14/06/2022 16:08

I agree that this isn’t a uniquely gender based problem but as the mother of a girl I hate this “Oh girls are just mean/bitchy etc” narrative.
These qualities are not inherently part of being female and I hate that so many parents and teachers see them as such. It comes down to parenting IMO. My DD is big hearted, mature and kind. She finds this behaviour in other girls upsetting but refuses to get involved. We should do better.

I have a DD and agree but I also have sons and find it just as annoying when you get the "boys are so naughty" "boys are so loud" "boys are so aggressive" and if I'm honest I seem to see it more about boys than girls.

NicolaMarlowsMerlin · 17/06/2022 15:06

OopsAnotherOne · 13/06/2022 17:00

I was bullied by a group of mean girls in school relentlessly. The ONLY thing that kept me going in school and lead to me being a semi-functioning adult was the unrelenting support and love from my parents (but mainly my mum). We had meetings with the school, meetings with the girls' parents, my mum took me out of school and home schooled me for a year, got me into another school for a fresh start. She didn't give up on me and she knew how bad it was and how much it impacted me, despite it being "just schoolgirl bullying" to a lot of people I spoke to. She got me into therapy at age to help with my self-esteem issues, she would host brilliant sleepovers and days out for me and my classmates so I would make new friends.

Honestly, I am 23 now. I still can't look at my time in school with anything other than resentment for how badly I was treated and how the staff looked the other way to the bullying, but my number one cheerleader was always my Mum and if you can be there for your daughter, listen to her and take her seriously, you will already be helping her more than you realise.

I also understand why you said "girls" rather than "kids". I was bullied by boys sometimes at my school but it never bothered me, it was just silly name calling or someone kicking a football my way. The girls were the ones who were snidey, giggly, pointing and whispering, complex plots to include and then suddenly exclude someone just to upset them. I've been witness to it so many times before, it's baffling.

I’m so sorry for what a grim time you had. My daughter is going through something similar and last night i found out one of her primary school friends who is at a different school is having a similar experience. I am a life long feminist campaigner and I agreed with the original statement. SOME girls are really horrible, and if you happen to be on the wrong side of them, it’s soul-destroying. Some boys are horrible too, in a different way, but certainly for my 14yo it’s the girls who are choosing to make fun of her, ostracise her, make her feel like she’s somehow less than them.

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