Why are girls so horrible

[Janinebutcher79]

Dd10 is in a small class and some of the girls are just so bloody horrible and nasty. I get frustrated as I want my dd10 to stick up for herself but she wants to take the higher ground, which is lovely I know but I worry about her being taken advantage off!

It’s not sexist.

Yes boys fall out and bully each other and are mean to each other but it’s nothing like the majority of girls.

IME the girls are worse in years 5/6 and then it settles down and then it gets worse around year 9 and then starts settling down again as they mature.

Girls tend to subconsciously be competing with each other and I find once they find a friendship group where they can just be themselves it gets much better.

You only have to read the threads on here to realise that many females love drama and bitchyness at any age but fortunately there are many females who aren’t like that or grow out of it as they get older.

I had similar experience, but I was a bit older.

Really vicious girls.

To be fair, the boys were no better.

Your post title suggests all girls are horrible.

I didn't read it as that but carry on with that narrative it if makes you feel better in your pc world!!

I am a school governor. Have been for 5 years. Leafy mc area.

You would not believe the outrageous behaviour of some children - in my experience it is usually girls. Parents are just as bad half the time and minimise such behaviour.

It's more than bullying. It's abuse.

Kids sending death threats, telling kids to kill themselves, physical assault, malicious communications, sexual threats, getting older family members involved (ever seen a y11 beat up a y7? Not pleasant)

The SLT at the school spend the majority of their time dealing with things that go on outside of school on SM which then get brought into the school setting.

We have had to ban 3 x sets of parents from the school premises this term due to threatening and abusive behaviour towards staff.

Last week a parent assaulted a y12 outside the school gates so that's in the hands of the police now.

We have never had so many exclusions.

Every week I spent hours dealing with silly, vexatious complaints. It's usually the same parents.

Mrs X, No school bus? You knew that when you enrolled your child here ooc. School transport is responsibilty of the LA and repeat weekly for 3 years

The way parents speak to teachers and governors is disgraceful. Screaming, shouting, spitting, threatening to "come and sort us out"...

I cannot imagine what it must be like in inner city/deprived areas.

Sadly op, small primary schools can be a huge problem bullying wise. Locally, classes are very boy heavy which means girls have a very small pool of peers.

Wow.
Sexist much?

You're not wrong. I have 2 dds. I was shocked with dd1 when the meaness started in preschool. Reception was awful. Now in year one she has realised it's better to just play with the boys and avoid it all.

Now DD has started preschool and is starting to talk about other girls and friendship issues too.

I don't remember it being this way until much later but I'm starting to think maybe I was just oblivious.

My blood runs cold at the “small class” smugness no a nightmare from a happiness perspective! Ensured both mine at big schools nice deep friendship pools so if it goes to shit you have plenty of other options…

AllAloneInThisHouse · Today 08:39

YABU for sexist question.

Imagine the uproar if you had ask why are boys so horrible!

I don't think there would be an uproar, not here certainly. The denial on here is that females can be awful, or lie or do anything bad that wasn't directly caused by a man.

And weren't you a child once? Weren't their horrible girls? If you answer no it's probably because you were the horrible girl at your school.

With my daughter it really helps that she has different friends outside school (netball/football clubs). So if friendships are becoming intense/nasty at school she has other people to turn to. In fact the teen girls into competitive sport generally seem to have fewer fallings out. Maybe just too busy!

There not their.

Actually, having had experience in schools, and from experience with my own children and family and friends, I would agree with the op. Girls of this age tend to have far more friendship issue and far more dramas. Of course, this is merely observational and anecdotal but is based on many years of this.
Of course there are exceptions but, in general, girls' friendships around this age can be really tricky.

The last thing the Op needs when she's upset is to be told she's being sexist. For goodness sake, she's talking about her daughter and other girls being horrible to her. She shouldn't have to include boys when it's nothing to do with them. I'm sick of people having to watch every word they say for fear of being pounced on.

Definitely a lot of bitchiness. My dd similar age and am hearing the same situation in school. and some more than others are waaaay beyond their years with bitchy talk. Not surprising those particular girls have a lot of access to youtube/ tik too etc

That said there's boys who are finding it hard to control themselves as testosterone builds in that a squabble or play wrestle can get out of hand. But there doesn't seem to be so much drama with the boys

Boys tend to express Violent behaviour towards boys

This. They have a biff and it's done. Girls bully and psychologically affect, sometimes can affect them for life.

And I stand by my earlier comment. They can be bitches.

Absolutely

IME boys are more likely to be violent at this age, girls are more likely to use emotional methods of being mean when they fall out.

This. The way boys handle it compared to girls is completely different, the difference is obvious even to bullies themselves. Girls are nasty and mean when they bully someone. Boys biff it out and are over it.

With girls your either bullied or the bully. And with girls it can have long term (even lifetime) affect.
But those who think their daughters are faultless or they didn't experience it will never understand the repercussions of their nastiness as kids... Sometimes it isn't left behind in childhood especially if it was well into the teens. Anyone dismissing that affect is delusional (likely a bully themselves as a kid and wants a free pass because now they're bitchy adults instead, raising girls the same - next gen bullies).

Some of the replies here get it and some are turning a blind eye of ignorance.... Sad that as adults they still can't see it from the other side but I guess this is where childhood bullies go to reign. Hopefully their kids get a bit of it to show them the affects of the other side. It's the only way they'll realise what they did to others.

I had to take my daughter out of her state school and put her in a private school ( on advice from the Police ) because she was being violently attacked by other girls. She was frequently being "rescued" by the boys in her class. The perputrators were cautioned by the Police. The school did nothing.

It isn’t. It’s just a fact. I’m still damaged at 50 from nasty bullying by a handful of girls. They can be dreadful.

🙄 woke police in force this morning

Girls can be very nasty and cutting, I think at 10 puberty starts and hormones are firing up. Your daughter seems very grounded and i would continue to encourage her to stay like that, falling into the trap of retaliation etc.

The last thing the Op needs when she's upset is to be told she's being sexist. For goodness sake, she's talking about her daughter and other girls being horrible to her. She shouldn't have to include boys when it's nothing to do with them. I'm sick of people having to watch every word they say for fear of being pounced on.

Its all about political correctness. Those who bullied as kids or have bully kids don't want them outed. It's such a shame... The political correctness and shit people are pulled up on these days is so over the top. You can't ask how the weather is without offending someone.
Perhaps instead of taking personal offence and nit picking about the wording people could be more understanding of the issue and emotions involved and realise where it's coming from.
But some people always have to be winners and no doubt every responder who had an issue with wording is female themselves and feel the need as adult to still be punching down on SOMEONE over SOMETHING, ANYTHING.

Hopefully they feel better about themselves fighting on the internet over such minor details... Such big girls you are.

Just the word 'some' would have helped in the op

YABU for sexist question.

😂
Awwww

Why are girls so horrible?

Who needs men to be sexist when we can do it ourselves?

The irony of the OP being bullied off her own thread in this way! Guess some women never grow out of the mean girl stage.

@Janinebutcher79 if you're still reading, Queen Bees and Wannabes is a good book about this.

It isn’t. It’s just a fact. I’m still damaged at 50 from nasty bullying by a handful of girls. They can be dreadful.

Agree but assholes won't comprehend that. It's outside their ability as humans who were the topic of this post as kids and likely raising their offspring in the same way. It can be very damaging and life destroying all to make some insignificant cow feel important.

But it's an eye opener that that grow up to be the exact same and raise the same...THAT I would never have expected. Guess we just have to raise our daughters to be aware of such people who have low IQs and only have their nasty words to get them through. 🤷

Genuinely is eye opening the amount of adults who never grow out of it... I can now go forward as a parent knowing where these nasty girls get it from.

This sadly…

So it's OK to ask, why are all men rapists, if one has been the victim of sexual assault?