Why are girls so horrible

[Janinebutcher79]

Dd10 is in a small class and some of the girls are just so bloody horrible and nasty. I get frustrated as I want my dd10 to stick up for herself but she wants to take the higher ground, which is lovely I know but I worry about her being taken advantage off!

You are absolutely right! I used to be a primary school teacher, and noticed exactly this! It's frustrating as there are no sanctions for this nastiness if parents aren't prepared to believe or do anything about it!

The answer as to why is probably is in a mixture of how girls at that age feel - finding their place in society , coping with changes in their bodies leads to lots of emotion and need to be top dog leads to poor behaviour

They will bully weaker children to show dominance , clever children to try and get ahead of them in the tribe , it's rather lord ir the flies

Op. Girls can be bitches Boys can also bitch but they tend to revert to physical types of behaviour to occupy and sort out the pecking order .

You haven't said anything wrong.

Girls (queen bees) prefer verbal bad behaviour as it highlights the social status in the group. The minions are to scared to loose the status in the group so they stay quiet or support the queen bee. It's a strong girl that speaks out at this age.
It's a very primitive behaviour that ensures the success of the tribe so it's just nature really (but I'd imagine the queen bee has learnt from the mother in many cases. If mother is a bitchy and gossiping type too.)

You can't stop it but you can try to equip your dd to deal with it. Explain the above to her it may help her get her head around it.

It's true, you're right. On the whole girls are worse at that age in terms of arguments. Many start puberty early. They also become more sensible earlier than boys.

Of course there are exceptions. Some kids are better at friendships than others whether not or girl. It's not sexist as different biology and hormones affects the 2 sexes in different ways.

On the plus side it won't be all of the girls at the same time so hopefully your dd can find someone else to hang out with.

Your post title suggests all girls are horrible. I hate the stereotype that girls are bitchy and nasty more than boys. Horrible way to speak about all girls.

You've given no detail on what is going on so no specific advise. Support dd, help her realise whay real friends are and distance herself from anyone who treats her badly.

Agree. We had two of each. The girls are by far the worst for the pettiness and bullying. Even when it was just the two boys at school all the school mums of girls would talk about how bad it was.
You'll get people who say "it's not just girls" blah blah blah but out of 6 different schools we have attended and 4 kids, girls in general are by far the worst. Not saying there aren't some petty, bullying boys. But girls are the worst in general don't care what anyone else says to defend their offspring... Some parents of only girls who don't think theirs do any wrong will defend it but I can guarantee that just because their girl has had no problems and is super sweet to them doesn't mean they aren't part of it in the school setting. Heaps of girl bullies are "so perfect and sweet" at home... I don't buy it.

Its common knowledge girls are worse for nastiness. Boys have a biff and it's done. Girls are nasty and long term nastiness. Was subject to it myself as have my girls been and have had friends who's girls are culprits of dishing it out. It can be life long scarring from the nastiness... If I had my time again I'd have stopped at the boys because helping my girls through it can sometimes be reliving it... No idea why they can't get along or not play with people they don't like no need to be an asshole to people you don't like. Makes no sense to me as an adult and it's a huge reflection on their upbringing in my opinion. Life doesn't work that way long term but it's a shame so many parents excuse their little cherubs nastiness and let them out in the world thinking that's how you get what you want.

On of the worst bullies I knew is now a school counsellor. I know from people who know her and public fb posts that she has not changed. She ran off with a school dad when she was teaching and posts awful posts about the wife he cheated with her on. SHE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR HELPING VULNERABLE CHILDREN!!??? Luckily we are miles away from where she lives and works because that to me would be dangerous.

*YABU for sexist question.

Imagine the uproar if you had ask why are boys so horrible*

eh men and boys,general misandry, constantly get torn apart on mn and no uproar. So many threads have males as complete villains and females as innocent victims...

The truth is that girls and boys,men and women, are all the same. They are good and bad, they are human.

Give us the examples of your own two girls being horrible petty bullies then? And what did you do to resolve it?

Your post title suggests all girls are horrible. I hate the stereotype that girls are bitchy and nasty more than boys. Horrible way to speak about all girls.

You either have no kids or no girls or were in the cool group growing up OR maybe one of those parents bringing up girls to be nasty to others then swear they're so sweet it wouldn't be them.

There's a reason for this stereotype. It's not made up and won't change because it offends you. Those affected by it will generalise where they see fit. People like you who want to tell others how to think and feel says more about you than them.

Sorry to highlight your just one of them even as a presumed adult... But the truth can be a c*nt just like the mirror.

your own two girls being horrible petty bullies then

They've been subject to it. But thanks for pointing out that some girls don't grow out of it. Ever.. Hope you feel good.

Girls are by FAR the worst for absolute downright nastiness at that age.

It mostly is. Boys, in general, just sort things out between themselves and get on with it.

Absolutely agree.

Ferdinandance - bit harsh! These gender stereotypes are massively unhelpful. Title shoukd have read 'some girls'

You're awful. I must have been a bully, have no children and a c*nt. Really?? Because i dont agree with calling all girls horrible because some are? Hope your dds don't get this message from you.

A lot of women are bitchy and have to compete in some way against other females, to prove themselves or whatever. Either openly or covertly. I wish this wasn't true but it's absolutely been my experience - mostly from adult women, I have to say. If they don't see you as a "threat", you're accepted.

Sadly also the experience of both my DD, similarly upset by the backstabbing that goes on. DS, no bullying issues ever, and he's also quite introverted a sweet and sensitive lad who could easily have been a target.

Yesterday there was a 12yo girl in the street outside literally screaming obscenities at one of her "friends" on the phone, over something ridiculous (I know there was no good reason as the entire street heard the conversation). She was laughing about it afterwards.

True female solidarity is sadly rare, just look at the bitching that happens on here.

*Because the parents do not and will not believe that their child is capable of it and will argue with school that the teacher is lying.

You read it on here all the time, ‘ My Little Gilly is a sensitive child blah, blah, blah… she was only trying to blah, blah, blah… she ALWAYS tells the truth*

and likewise you read the same bashings all the time on here against males. 1 male, boy or man, acts like a prick and there will be a million posts on why all males are nasty bastards etc and it turns into another misandry thread as if females are all saints....

The irony is that there are umpteen threads with a female as the villain and nobody would bash all females on earth for it and turn it into sheer misgyony for thev acts of 1 female...

There’s the bullies , their allies who go along with the nastiness because they don’t want to be on the receiving end - believe me they’ll get their turn - and the bystanders doing nothing.

I think the main issue is the class in junior schools are very enclosed and they have to see each other every day - - come senior school they can pick and choose friends. And they are more aware of who to avoid.

Th that bullied my daughter had zero friends in high school. When it continued in year 7 I threatened the police if they continued - it stopped.

Things like she’s make a friend and they would make a bee line for the same girl to make sure she didn’t have one - but the other girls saw them coming. And yes their parents were in denial.

No, some girls are nasty, some aren't. Just as some boys are nasty and some aren't. And some adults are nasty and some aren't.

My dd never really had all the drama that I read about on here. Her friendship group has been pretty consistent since the early primary years, and they have just added in new people along the way. They are 17 now. No big dramas or fallings out. Nobody being excluded. Just a nice, happy bunch of kids (girls and boys) who have lots of fun together. If there is a rare disagreement of any sort, then they sort it out between them.

I'm aware that there are groups of girls in her school who go for the high drama, high tension type of friendships, but thankfully dd has always chosen the steadier, happier group!

True female solidarity is sadly rare, just look at the bitching that happens on here

true human solidarity is rare actually-the bitching is aimed at both genders, gender shouldn't seek solidarity with their own gender.

Most of the stabbings in the uk are young teenage boys who have some petty 'beef' against someone, and you really think its just girls?

There are good girls and bad girls, good and bad boys

But how that expresses itself differ accordingly to the sex and age of the offender - there is a sex element that needs to be understood

Honestly it's like NAMALT . Yes everyone knows but some behaviour is still a male pattern behaviour and some behaviour is a per teen girl pattern behaviour

And at that age all children have the development drivers for very bad behaviour

move onto answers

First accept this tends to be very common at this age for reasons I already outlined

*Most of the teen stabbings

No

Boys tend to express Violent behaviour towards boys

But what the op is seeing is bullying by girls on girls , which tends to be the dominant form or aggression that girls in particular use

The op dd isn't suffering from
Male violence, she is suffering from female bullying

I once commented on a post similar to this and had my arse handed to me because I said "girls can be bitches".

I have a teen DD and luckily we are just seeing the light at the end of the tunnel but Y6-Y9 can be difficult. And I stand by my earlier comment. They can be bitches.

I also have a primary aged DS. Boys can be bitches too. What we've found is that boys tend to move on from disputes and it's forgotten the next day (usually). Girls don't and things drag on. To be clear, I'm not saying this is always the case and I'm in no way stereotyping.