Having children isn't viewed as an achievement, the same way having a successful career is

[gagablacksheep]

Just wondering what people's thoughts are on this.

Having children is the hardest thing I've ever done, yet, I feel like, as the majority of people have children- it's nothing ' special ' that you get any kind of pat on the back for, in the same way you would - if, say you had a very successful career.

The kind of social standing that comes with being very successful career wise, just isn't the same, as being a mum. Most people can be ' a mum ', but most people can't have very successful careers.

Is it just me, or is being a mum just a bog standard thing, that seems a bit 'thankless' in the eyes of society ? Sorry if I've not explained my feeling and thoughts very well.

Having a career and working is not the same thing. Yes you should be congratulated for a career. Why not? Having a child and raising him properly is an achievement, you cannot have a congratulation because you have a 1h baby in your arms. Yes the baby years and the toddler years are gruelling, and what about the teenage years. Having another autonomous adult right next to you is nothing short of an achievement. And you will get congratulation. Just not right now. One of my grandma ended up a very young widow and raised 5 adults by herself. She gets congratulations all the time.

Everyone who has a child gets child benefit, just for having a child and regardless of income. Ridiculous!
Im all for people who need help getting benefits, but people who are earning a good wage shouldn’t also receive benefit just for having a child.

Not true. Child benefit stops at a certain income no matter how many children you have.

You’re right. I stand corrected re income. But I still think it’s outdated to be paid because you have a child. If I made a life choice to travel around the world I wouldn’t receive payments while I completed the journey. Having a child is a life choice.

It’s not an achievement though, procreating is something most humans can do. It’s common. No-one is going to thank you for having kids, or raising them well, other than your own family so looking for outside kudos is pointless.
Being a parent is hard, the hardest thing have ever done but about 1000 times more rewarding than my ( ‘successful’) career. I love being a parent, it’s the thing I am proudest of, but it’s personal and I’m not looking for anyone else to praise me for t.

So how are women in the UK stopped from accessing healthcare due to having children? And none of that is intrinsic to having children itself either, that’s due to sexism being displayed by other parties.

But sone folks think pro creating is. Someone is repeatedly posting on here that having a shag, falling pregnant and giving birth is their personal biggest achievement. Not raisinf the child, giving them a good child hood, even when questioned they argue simply the act of shagging and giving birth is their biggest achievement.they keep posting having their daughter was their biggest achievement.

Go fIgure.

Getting pregnant, being able to maintain a viable pregnancy and giving birth to a healthy baby aren't achievements.

They are pure luck.

There is some argument that raising well rounded polite and independent adults is an achievement. But I don't think so much as forging your own career.

Lots of amazing parents end up with children who go off the rails and sometimes even in prison, or not fulfilling their potential. Even greet parents can't control the destiny of another human.

I'm not sure I agree with your premise. Everyone is always going on about how hard it is being a parent (well, mum), and how incredible parents (mums) are, and how its the greatest job anyone can ever do.

So how are women in the UK stopped from accessing healthcare due to having children? And none of that is intrinsic to having children itself either, that’s due to sexism being displayed by other parties.

Firstly, we know that sex based differences in the human body aren't taught adequately enough at medical school and we also know that women are hugely underrepresented in medical research data and it's widely acknowledged that this is, in part, due to women being harder to recruit to medical trials. This is often due to women having less leisure time than men and finding it difficult to attend the clinical appointments due to childcare responsibilities.
This means that women are receiving substandard medical care because quite often the research has been carried out in your average male body.... which is very different to your average woman's body.

Then why are they so patchy? I’m going to bet that much of your research and analysis is of the YouTube sort, rather than an actual PhD?

I cannot understand this post at all.

Having a successful career requires hard work, talent, drive and skill.

Being a mum just requires you to have unprotected sex and not have an abortion. Many teenage girls manage. Not much of an achievement, quite the opposite.

But I still think it’s outdated to be paid because you have a child.

Child benefit is surely paid in order to help ensure that actual existing children (lots of whom are born into poverty) get their needs met. Not as a reward for parents for procreating. It's not an innocent child's fault they were born. Do you really want to take away that money?

Having a successful career requires hard work, talent, drive and skill.
There are MANY examples (cue politicians) that show it's nothing but a combination of rich parents, connections and a bit of luck.
Yet there are men and women that raise children who later become great leaders or amazing scientists. And they are never congratulated or praised for that. World isn't black and white (unless you are very narrow-minded).

They’re not remotely patchy. And no, I don’t think YouTube is a valid source. But thanks for making assumptions about me because you don’t like my opinions.

What’s the source for the claim the reason women don’t want to volunteer for trials is because of childcare? I wouldn’t enter a trial pre kids either, because I’m not interested in doing so.

I wouldn’t call a parent earning just under £50k in poverty but perhaps on here it is! Yes provide support to struggling families but someone on a decent salary should not be in receipt of this.

Perhaps if childcare wasn’t extortionate and employers were mor flexible, people wouldn’t need it?

I wouldn’t call a parent earning just under £50k in poverty but perhaps on here it is!

Wilful misinterpreting. I said lots of children were born into poverty, not that all or most of those whose parents get child benefit are.

Yet there are men and women that raise children who later become great leaders or amazing scientists. And they are never congratulated or praised for that.

Why would they be praised for someone else's achievements? Children aren't outputs. They're individuals in their own right.

Having children is expensive so if you can’t afford them don’t have them like any life choice! Benefits should be there for those who really need them. Also why should employers be more flexible? You’re there to do a job, if you can’t do it anymore than find a job that better suits your needs.

What’s the source for the claim the reason women don’t want to volunteer for trials is because of childcare? I wouldn’t enter a trial pre kids either, because I’m not interested in doing so.

The journal of women's health ( from an article published in 2014) and the British journal of clinical pharmacology (a 2018 article).
Both cited in Invisible Women by Caroline Criado Perez (2019)

Apologies forestfae the article from
The British journal of pharmacology is on a slightly different topic... however, the issue is addressed in invisible women ( just went and checked my sources )

l personally would value being a parent more than a successful career, because l don't measure success just by the amount of money you earn.
Covid showed us it was the lower paid workers with the menial jobs that kept the country on its feet in a time of crisis, the ones with so called sucessful careers nowhere to be seen, and no job in the world could give me half the pleasure and satisfaction of raising my children. If society thinks differently who cares ? Doesn't mean its right.

@Moonface123

Ummmmm.

Did you forget healthcare workers that kept the country going through covid?

Its possible to get pleasure and satisfaction from working and raising kids