To ask if you could go back and undo having children would you?

[josil]

Genuinely, would you really undo it (not just some days are tough but overall I wouldn't undo it) I want opinions from those that have for a while felt like they wouldn't do it all over again.

Appreciate many threads on this but am keen to hear not just if you would undo it but if you would, why?

No regret from me. It’s unrelenting and I don’t know how I can go back to work since becoming a mum- I feel like my head is just packed full, I don’t know how I can find the extra head space and energy for a stressful job again.. it’s a very very tough choice to go back or not and one that I haven’t made yet - but zero regret for having my baby boy. He’s an absolute joy and I mostly love spending time with him. Xx

No way, I wish I'd had them in my early 20s if I'd have known how much I'd love being their Mum!

I'm sorry to hear that @KangarooKenny that must be so hard ☹️

I’d have thought twice if I knew how much I would worry (mostly unnecessarily its my head is the problem not the actual human I made mostly) and the worry when they are vomiting- letting them be independent especially teens - I swear I look about 138 through the lack of sleep and anxiety.

No. I also love motherhood although it is hard and relentless, I couldn’t imagine not having them in my life.

6 months ago, I would have absolutely, no questions asked said I would undo it in a heartbeat.

The last 6 years have been the worst of my life (so far) I think. There are many, many times I've regretted choosing motherhood. These last 3 months I've started to see chinks of light, started to get tiny moments of joy.

One of my DC has a life long medical condition that impacts them daily. This is the only reason I would consider not having DC, it's horrible watching them suffer.

I would undo having my kids if I could. Mainly so I could walk away and leave their father. Currently I have to stay because I need him to help with childcare and paying the bills. I’d probably be happy to still have the kids if someone I love could be the father instead.

No! Kids are the best thing that ever happened to me.

I'm really sorry. That must be so hard 💐

No regrets here. Couldn’t imagine my life without them, and that’s the truth.

Silly question really

They have made me a better person, made me actively want to be a better person and made me fall so much more in love with my husband by seeing what an awesome dad he is.

@PashunFroot I could have written the same thing, my DC have made me a better and happier person, I was definitely self-absorbed before, but I view life and other people differently now. I’m far more empathetic and I’m content. This has resulted in better friendships and relationships-so my DC have given me a lot, tbh.

No. They've really added to my life.
If I could change anything, I wish I'd had them earlier.

Regret him? never in a million years.
He is 22 next week a fiance and a Daddy. By God it's been hard work we have been to hell and back with him. Finally things are settling not perfect but 100% better than they were. Reading that back doesn't make sense but it's how it feels.
How can you regret creating a life. Children are hard work some are much harder than others but regret?? Never.

My 12 yr old DD is awesome. I love her to bits.
This isn't about her, it's about motherhood.

No, if I could have my time again, I wouldn't have her. Wouldn't marry my DH either. My life is completely fucked. I'm not a priority to anyone, even myself, so my health has suffered so much and I take so many medications that I rattle!

Most days, absolutely not. They're my life and I love them both more than anything.

But today has been utterly shit, which happens every so often. On days like today, I sometimes wonder how my life would've been without them.

No! I had PND twice, ds has a myriad of health problems and is autistic, dd didn’t sleep for more than 90 minutes at a time until she was 2… but no way would I undo it! My dc are the best things ever (to me)!

No, never ever.

I have suffered more than most as a mother, with the death of a child. But I would do it again, because my surviving daughters are utterly wonderful - my gift to the world. Also great friends, we go on holiday together, girls nights out and just enjoy being together. Extreme pain and joy, that is my experience of being a parent. I wouldn’t want the pain but I am grateful for the joy.

Difficult. I wouldn't undo them at all as I love all 3 dearly. Eldest 2 are adults and no regrets, except their father is a waste of space and not involved in their lives for 15 years now. But if he had been they would now be different people.

Youngest has a lovely dad(my dp) but from a personal point of view has affected my health physically and mentally and I occasionally wonder how things would be if I'd never had him/met his dad

I'm so sorry HeadNorth. That is a beautifully written post. ❤️

No, not remotely. My kids are fab and great company. Parenting them has been a genuine pleasure. Few difficult moments tbh.

I've very much enjoyed being a mum to younger children despite it being hard work, but I do wonder how I will feel when they have flown the nest. I see quite a lot of my mum but lots of people find their parents irritating and begrudge a yearly visit.