Would you be put off by a man who doesn't drive?

[ItDoesMyHeadIn]

I was. Cancelled the date. I'm being too fussy apparently. To be fair my friend is married to a man who doesn't drive and he's amazing. Neither of my parents drive. The guy I was going to date could afford it, he just can't be arsed. He is happy to walk everywhere or use public transport. Up to him. But I would want to be with someone who can literally take the wheel sometimes. Like fuck do I want to be the one driving 8 hours up to Scotland for a holiday, or being the one to always collect the takeaway etc. I'm pretty traditional and sometimes I admit I would want my man to pick me up and take me out for dinner etc (fuck off crazy feminists, yes I can take myself out for dinner). I didn't actually realise how much of a deal breaker this was until it was put in front of me! Interested in opinions...

Deal breaker for me. Dated someone for a few years who didn't drive and it became a real issue over time, the general assumption that I would take us everywhere and never being able to have a drink unless we forked out for taxis wore thin.

For me, yes because my life has lots of things that are a lot easier with a car as an option.

If I lived in London and liked nice restaurants, theatre and holidays to cities in Europe, skiing in big French resorts I'd be fine with it. But I don't live in London, like walking up random hills and do a sport that tends to happen in random obscure sports centres not close to transport links so I'd find it annoying not being able to share...

Most of the places I've lived have been shite without a car because no trains and buses slow, infrequent, unreliable and finish early/start late as well as taking 5 times as long (semi rural areas).

In London I didn't keep my car because everything was easier by public transport.

This is such nonsense. Yesterday I used the car to take an enormous amount of stuff to the recycling centre, dump and charity shop. Some of it's mine, some of it's from non-driving neighbours. I then went to the City Farm, where I'm a trustee, to help out with a group of disabled visitors. I then pitch-forked manure into 12 large recycled plastic containers, lined the back of my car with tarps and took it to a friend's allotment for him. Today I'm using the car to visit an elderly relative and take him his dinner. Tomorrow I'm driving about 14 miles away for a long walk in the hills in order to try and get into shape for the Macmillan marathon I'm doing later this year.

People who say people who drive are lazy are lazy thinkers who are hiding the truth from themselves.

If it’s for medical reasons then fair enough. For any other reason it’s a deal breaker but then I don’t know anyone over the age of about 19 who can’t drive

OH is a non driver, it’s very tough with kids. I have to do all sports, party drops, holidays etc. Only you know if that’s a deal breaker but it does lead to an unequal division of tasks. He does lots around the house but there is nothing he does that I can’t unlike the driving thing. I find the kids miss out on stuff too when I’m not around .

But why can’t he do it even if he doesn’t drive? I’m a single parent and I don’t drive yet I manage to do all of that 🤔

I am in London and most of my friends can't drive! I am 29. And it's not money either cos most of my friends are professionals who went to RG university, can afford to buy London property etc. None of DH's siblings drive.

fuck off crazy feminists?

fuck off yourself

Funny how different people are. I’d be more likely to be put off by someone who did drive, especially when there was no need to.
Driving isn’t an essential life skill. It’s an unsustainable privilege with both local and global consequences.

Why on earth would his inability to swim make it your responsibility to take the kids to lessons? If the child is younger and needs a parent in the water, that parent isn't swimming, they're just stood there. Or you could wait until the child is old enough to go in alone.

yeah you are definitely too fussy!

I never drove for the first 8 years of our relationship, I’m glad my dh wasn’t so judgemental or picky about that. I do drive now and it does make life easier but it wasn’t a hinderance.

growing up my mum could drive but couldn’t afford a car! No wonder she was single for so many years 😤😤😣

Maybe they live somewhere where public transport isn't an option, and things aren't within walking distance?

Having a driving licence gives you independence. I grew up in a village and getting my licence at eighteen was brilliant. No more going to college eight miles away on a bus that takes an hour to do a fifteen minute journey.

I can apply for a job anywhere. If I didn't drive there would be a lot of jobs I simply couldn't get to. If you enter into a relationship with a non driver just remember that everything is going to be on you.

Going shopping, going out for a meal, going on holiday in the uk, taking children to activities, if you're tired you can't share the driving and you never ever get the chance to just sit in the passenger seat and chill out and switch off

I definitely judge people who don't drive by choice over the age of twenty. I see them as a bit pathetic tbh.

Because they are usually not accessible by public transport , or public transport would take three times as long (matches across town etc)

it wouldn’t be a dealbreaker for me, there are more important things

Sorry that was supposed to be a response!

I massively judge non-drivers, unless it’s a medical reason. Like others have said, it’s a life skill. Even if you don’t have a car, or need one, there are occasions when you might need to step up & to be 40 & say ‘I can’t drive’ would make me run a mile.

Other deal breakers for me are anyone who believes in God & also someone who has no desire to go on foreign holidays.

Give them a bit longer if they're students. Hard to arrange lessons when you've got a banging hangover three times a week.

I have been in a relationship with a non driver before, and it was annoying. Constant lifts, can't share long drives, him running errands took longer so it was always easier to do it myself etc.

You all must be loaded. Learning to drive is expensive and insurance once you past.
Plus all the driving instructors have waiting lists.

well you lost me at fuck off crazy feminists but yes I think this is pretty daft thing to rule someone out over. He might have been perfect in every other way and learned to drive out of love for you! But you’ll never know now

I wouldn't be put off by a man who couldn't drive - I would be massively put off by some of the judgey twats on here though

My DH doesn’t drive. I don’t drive. It’s not an issue.

also, I just laughed out loud at wouldn’t date someone with a PlayStation. What the hell?! Bizarre.

Yes, I would be.

Deal-breaker for me. I'd never again date a non-driving woman.