Would you be put off by a man who doesn't drive?

[ItDoesMyHeadIn]

I was. Cancelled the date. I'm being too fussy apparently. To be fair my friend is married to a man who doesn't drive and he's amazing. Neither of my parents drive. The guy I was going to date could afford it, he just can't be arsed. He is happy to walk everywhere or use public transport. Up to him. But I would want to be with someone who can literally take the wheel sometimes. Like fuck do I want to be the one driving 8 hours up to Scotland for a holiday, or being the one to always collect the takeaway etc. I'm pretty traditional and sometimes I admit I would want my man to pick me up and take me out for dinner etc (fuck off crazy feminists, yes I can take myself out for dinner). I didn't actually realise how much of a deal breaker this was until it was put in front of me! Interested in opinions...

You never see a non driver criticising people who live in places with poor transport links for having a car.

Of course you do. Shit gets flung all over in this debate. I've seen plenty of non drivers criticise drivers for contributing to pollution and, on occasion, claiming that most drivers are too dim to work out how to use train and bus timetables.

I view adults (non-hippies/not banned by DVLA for medical reasons) who don't drive the same way I view adults who frequently play video games and don't dress/groom themselves.

Childish. But each to their own. Less drivers means less traffic for me. All for it.

I say this on just about every thread that pops up around driving when non drivers are insulted and belittled, but I do wonder if by some miracle I managed to pass my test why I would suddenly become a completely different person? Why a driving licence would suddenly change my personality? Why I would suddenly go from being childlike, not independent, lazy to this wonderful person because I had a driving licence? Nothing else would change, I'd still be me, I'd still go to work and do my job (and especially in summer it'd be actually easier to get public transport because parking where I work is a renowned nightmare!).
And secondly, if I were to have an accident with someone who holds negative views about people who can't drive, what their reaction would be if they discovered that it'd taken me more than 5 tests and thousands of pounds to pass? I doubt very much if having damaged their car or worse, injured them or any passengers, they'd be clapping me on the back for my determination and independence. More likely that I'd be told in no uncertain terms that I shouldn't be on the roads.

I do believe that there are a a small minority of people that it’s best they don’t drive.
Unfortunately some of them are actually out there driving.

Like everything, it's all about context.

If someone lives in an area where they genuinely can do all their travelling by public transport, walking or cycling, then a potentially partner not being able to drive is clearly less of a put-off.

But if you live in an area with poor public transport and few local amenities, meaning that travel by car is often a necessity, then a potential partner who can't drive and has no plans to learn is very definitely a major put-off. Otherwise you end up just becoming a taxi service for them and enduring the burden of driving you both everywhere.

My first boyfriend didn't drive and had no intention of learning. I'd been driving since my 17th birthday. It was a real PITA. If he came to my house for the evening, he'd have to leave at 10pm to catch the last bus home. If we wanted to go to pubs/clubs further than walking distance, it was obviously always me who had to drive, meaning drinking only soft drinks, and I'd have to detour round to his house at the end of the evening to drop him off home. Same for days out, going ice skating, or a drive to the seaside or countryside, or an attraction, it was muggins here who had to drive us. It was "ok" at first I suppose but I soon started to resent it, and in the end, I broke up with him because of it. (But he was a "taker" in others ways too which didn't help!).

@Maverickess

exactly
I’m a single parent, approved foster carer, own my own home, volunteer with several organisations, have had a reasonable career over 35 years

but somehow I am childish because I don’t have something I don’t actually need.

So if they are a hippy and don't drive they aren't childish like others who don't drive? Okay then 🤔.
MN just gets madder and these driving threads really bring out the crazies 😂