Would you be put off by a man who doesn't drive?

[ItDoesMyHeadIn]

I was. Cancelled the date. I'm being too fussy apparently. To be fair my friend is married to a man who doesn't drive and he's amazing. Neither of my parents drive. The guy I was going to date could afford it, he just can't be arsed. He is happy to walk everywhere or use public transport. Up to him. But I would want to be with someone who can literally take the wheel sometimes. Like fuck do I want to be the one driving 8 hours up to Scotland for a holiday, or being the one to always collect the takeaway etc. I'm pretty traditional and sometimes I admit I would want my man to pick me up and take me out for dinner etc (fuck off crazy feminists, yes I can take myself out for dinner). I didn't actually realise how much of a deal breaker this was until it was put in front of me! Interested in opinions...

I’m 28 now, we’re married with 3 kids - when I met DH, I already had DS1 and was a single parent, DS1s bio dad has very little input, so not a typical 20 year old with no ties, didn’t occur to me then and it wouldn’t now - it’s always been more about how I get on with the person.

Exactly this. ^ Apparently it's sooooooo bad to not want a man who can't drive, but perfectly OK to demand he has a £75K a year salary (or higher,) and a degree from a RG university ... Along with being super good looking, having a low BMI, and being very intelligent, being able to whip up a 3 course meal, and being able to buy a property virtually outright in his 20s... but yeah wanting a man who can drive is SHALLOW!!! 😂

As I said, I KNEW mumsnet would not disappoint. Posters spouting disingenuous double standards to the nth degree!

Ok. I think it's unusual for someone with certain life responsibilities not to have financial independence even occur to them when selecting a life partner, but if it works for you, it works for you. I like drivers and that makes some people literally cringe, so it takes all sorts.

Yeah busted! 😂 Dave, aged 36, who has never been arsed to learn to drive, (and still lives with his mum, and works 3 hours a week at B & M on the tills,) dumped me last year, and that's what has made me so against men who can't drive. LMFAO!!!😂

You do seem particularly visceral in your hatred of them. I don’t like blonde men, or men who intensely watch and follow football, but you don’t see me making posts like “I just fucking HATE sports FANS, a bunch of IDIOTS, get a REAL HOBBY”

I would be dangerous with a B&M discount card, I hate to think how much crap I would end up buying, there and the range are dangerous places.

They're called opinions luv.

Yeah but you’re oddly aggressive about your opinions. It’s not normal to have such a vehement dislike of something that doesn’t affect you.

Not gonna lie, B & M is a fucking awesome place. I do about a fifth of my yearly shopping there! I buy stuff I don't need too. 😖

I go in for vamoosh, I come out with all sorts, who knew I needed a catering size bottle of fairy when 99% of our pots go in the dishwasher.

@ForestFae

Yeah but you’re oddly aggressive about your opinions. It’s not normal to have such a vehement dislike of something that doesn’t affect you...

And you seem oddly offended by the opinions of some random nobody online. Many posters have expressed their dislike and disdain for men who can't drive, yet you are focussing on me rather a lot. Have I hit a raw nerve? Or have I offended you previously on another thread? You do seem rather angry. 🤔

I’m not the one who seems angry lol. I quoted you because your posts are more than just “I’m not into men who can’t drive personally” and are weirdly hate filled. Others have noticed it too. It’s odd behaviour.

Nothing wrong with B&M, their chocolate and sweet selection is unbeaten IMO. Worth getting a taxi to in an emergency.

@Simonjt

I go in for vamoosh, I come out with all sorts, who knew I needed a catering size bottle of fairy when 99% of our pots go in the dishwasher.

😁 Me to a T.

I went in yesterday for a bottle of shampoo, and came out with 2 pieces of 'wall art' for outside. They were reduced from £8 to £5. It would have been rude to have not bought them! Plus they look fab on the wall of my garage!

If you say so dear. You do seem weirdly focussed on me though, and it's starting to creep me out a bit. So I am going to be ignoring you from now on on this thread, because I don't rise to baiting and goading. Enjoy your day dear.

I’ve made about two comments to you, but okay lol. Carry on being filled with rage about people enjoying their lives and not driving 🤷🏻‍♀️

There’s a B&M a minute’s walk from my office. You lot have reminded me why I avoid going in it 😁

My ex didn't drive. Didn't really bother me at the time, however my current partner does, although he didnt have a uk license when we met (he's from another country) so he could only drive my car with me in as a "learner" for a while. But he soon passed his test and now has his own car, since then I've realised how much I prefer to have another driver around and don't think I'd like to go back to being the only driver. Not a complete deal breaker but like everything, life is easier when you are with someone who shares the burden/responsibility equally.

Yeah it's so much better isn't it? Me and DH have been able to drive for many years, and when we go out on long trips, he tends to do 80-90% if the driving. I don't mind a 50-50 split, but he is happy to do most of it. However, if he gets weary, it's just good to know that there's another driver on board! What a bind and a bloody nuisance to be the only driver, and have to do it ALL.

As I said earlier, people who just CBA to even TRY to learn to drive, just boil my piss, because sooo much responsibility is pushed onto the other person's shoulders. I couldn't live with myself if everything fell on my DH's shoulders tbh. Clearly some people are OK with it. That is not the type of person I could be with.

But the thread isn't about people refusing to do their share of something (which would irritate me too, as does any form of freeloading that makes life more difficult or unpleasant for others), the thread is about not driving?

You're assuming that in every other person's situation there is driving which needs to be done and therefore somebody has to do it and others - including me - are pointing out that this is not the case? I have no need to drive as my work, lifestyle and location make it totally irrelevant and unnecessary; your situation is different to mine and both are equally valid. But I'm not posting crass generalisations and personal insults about the supposed intelligence, success and maturity of people whose views and experience don't correlate with mine?

I don't think that alone is a red flag but I had no intention of dating any of them. I was and am still married. Just observing that many people find it an attractive quality.

Manual driving is more of a big deal in the US...I think automatics are a lot more common. It's something that would have impressed them in a man and attracted them in a woman.

I am not in London today. I took the train. No one needed to drive..

As I said earlier, people who just CBA to even TRY to learn to drive, just boil my piss

Get a grip. People you don’t know, who live in completely different circumstances to you, whose lifestyles don’t involve needing to drive, “boil your piss”? Really? You must be apoplectic with rage about things that actually have some impact on your life.

I’d be more put off by a man who expected me to live in some bullshit commuter place with no public transport and bring up children who have to be chauffeured everywhere by their parents. Fuck that.

As I said earlier, people who just CBA to even TRY to learn to drive, just boil my piss, because sooo much responsibility is pushed onto the other person's shoulders. I couldn't live with myself if everything fell on my DH's shoulders tbh. Clearly some people are OK with it. That is not the type of person I could be with

Completely agree with this. It would really anger me being the one to have to do all the driving in a relationship- its tiring and would mean he always gets to drink whilst I never do! It would also be a massive turn off to have to drive a man around

Wow, this attitude is so horrible