to be annoyed by these 'learning by experiences parents'

[grumpydotcom]

Name changed for safety.

Feeling thoroughly pissed off with the 'perfect' parents I've crossed paths with today .

First encounter. I'm cycling to work this morning and need to get a move on. Come to the cattle grid type thing on the cycle path and child on bike is blocking the crossing. Parent has already crossed and is patiently encouraging the child to follow. Child is having non of it .Parent is aware of queue behind but Freddie's 'learning experience' and need for Freddie to make the crossing on his own in his own time (for as long as that may take ) is more important , at the expense of others , no sense of urgency or consideration for queue behind which is building up.

Second encounter lunch time in Greggs queuing for a sandwich . Queue is massive and does not seem to be going down. Reason - parent with small child at the front and child wants to pay . Parent patiently explaining to child about contactless and how that works, and then child drops the card and everyone waits while child is encouraged by parent to find and pick up the card (under the counter ). Parent laughs ' never mind Freddie you try it again ,you can do it' and turns and smiles at the queuers as if we should all be impressed. Staff at Greggs look around awkwardly .

FFS pick up the child and the bike and remove them from the cycle path so others can pass!!!!!

Take the card off the child and pay for the sandwich without delay and get out of the way!!!!!

Thank you

But strangers do not have to slow down for the benefit of children.

What about for old people?

And yet you’d be annihilated on here for suggesting that the elderly refrain from doing their shopping at lunchtime. Or using public transport at 8.30am.

tbf they have power in numbers!

Agree

Completely agree.

There is a trend of parenting so that everything fits around the child - unfortunately that is not preparing them for the real world and we are breeding possibly the most narcissistic generation of young children ever.

How is the OP any less selfish though? Both people are prioritising their needs & wants.

we are breeding possibly the most narcissistic generation of young children ever.

I thought data showed it was the "baby boomers" as they are hyper sensitive?

That’s a delightful attitude but the reality is - you are the one who enjoys it, versus the legion who absolutely do not care.

Having a child isn’t an out for being socially aware and considerate to others. You dithering with your “little one” isn’t a more valuable use of time than anybody else’s.

This is the great thing about living in London, you can do what you like with your toddler and everyone just ignores it if they aren't interested, never any accusation of performance parenting just because you let your child do whatever it is you're doing.

Although having said that you also have to explain to your child about the size of the queue and the fact that people will be annoyed if they are late, and then take over if necessary. Otherwise how will they learnt to take others into account?
Just keep away from the "world will end if we queue jump by mistake/take too long/etc" attitude, because that doesn't help kids make good decisions.

Because there is often a sense of urgency with this and progress being made where the child is often at a complete standstill while being coaxed.

Because there is often a sense of urgency with this and progress being made where the child is often at a complete standstill while being coaxed.

what urgency is there in someone not deciding what they want before they go to the till & umming & ahing. Why only start looking for your card after your shopping has been scanned? Why not pack something fast as the checkout person scans it rather than wait till the end & do it slowly? All of these scenarios take just as long as a child been coaxed to tap.

You dithering with your “little one” isn’t a more valuable use of time than anybody else’s.

Exactly! Both the OP & the parent are only focused on what's important to them & their time.

Because sometimes some people can be just as inconsiderate, when others are considerate

The baby boomers ?

I think the baby boomers generally had a more common sense approach to parenting- im not a baby boomer but neither am i of the generation who will go to the pub and give baby / tot a ipad rather than let the child learn that it is part of life to sit with boredom.

The amount of molly coddling i see is ludicrous.

Younger generations don't tend to go to pubs though hence why they are dying. Maybe you are thinking of the baby boomers children who are now parents?

Haha l was wondering what lockdown had to do with this thread too!!
I used to work in a shop op and the parents who would let their kids spent forever deciding what they wanted from behind the counter was ridiculous- queue would be out the door. Drove me mad.

I don't have the ordering in my shop so I can't comment on that, although that annoys me as a customer (same as people on their phone). Someone will take a few seconds looking for their card, a customer can pack while you greet the next one and you can offer to help packing. Everything grinds to a halt for "Come on darling scan the card, come on darling, just tap it, the people are waiting sweetheart, let mummy/daddy do it then, do you want mummy/daddy to help? You know how to do it." where the customer eventually does it for the child and the child kicks off.

@gillyff

Having been a Mum jollying about with my young child, I have always been mindful of others - I have, and am again, someone who nips to a shop in the city centre for lunch.

I don’t expect anybody but me to think my little Timmy is adorable, so holding everyone up in a queue is a no and I absolutely do not think anybody else’s little Timmy is adorable doing the same.

That said - until recently I was a manager at a major food retailer and the behaviour of the general public (which was never that great) has hit new lows since the lockdowns. The verbal aggression between customers, never mind towards staff, is absolutely off the scale. Truly astonishing how rapidly a no big deal scenario escalates now. No idea how to solve that one but people all need to calm down, as a collective.

Timing is the big factor here, isn’t it? A parent teaching their child how to pay in a bookshop on a Sunday afternoon - fine. Teaching their child how to pay in a city centre Cafe Nero on a Monday lunchtime - clearly bound to inconvenience multiple time-poor people, unnecessary as other opportunities would be just as good and therefore selfish.

This is nothing like learner drivers, who very often have to have lessons at busy commuting times as they are fitting them in before or after college or work.

@slashlover we must shop differently, things literally grind to halt in Aldi & Lidl when people don't pack fast enough.

Totally annoying! YANBU.

I manage to give my DC the opportunities and confidence to navigate the world whilst teaching them to be socially aware and considerate. The two can work together 😉.

I think it's more important than ever to teach our children that they are important and have a place in this world. Especially with so many people thinking they should be seen and not heard. And perhaps not even seen in this instance.

It's very clear that being a child isn't an out for being socially aware and considerate to others - but being an adult is an out for being socially aware and considerate to children?

I don’t expect anybody but me to think my little Timmy is adorable, so holding everyone up in a queue is a no and I absolutely do not think anybody else’s little Timmy is adorable doing the same.

What's adorability got to do with anything? I just have more understanding for a young child holding up a queue than an adult with their myriad of reasons.

No idea how to solve that one but people all need to calm down, as a collective.

People are far too entitled & inpatient but tolerance works both ways.

Balance it’s all about balance.
my kids like to pay at the checkout with contactless. That said if they are faffing on and creating a delay I would take over.
likewise escalators, they want to jump over. They may take longer picking the toppings at the pizza counter at the supermarket.
and no doubt someone will be along to call my children snowflakes and some other nasty remark.
however I think we need tolerance. Children are part of our society and they need a little longer to do things. They need to learn. But they are part of society and no less important than anyone else. So the fact they take a little longer should be embraced, accepted and tolerated. but, as I say, I believe it is about balance. so rush hour and my child is blocking a cycle pathway or something similar and I would quickly take over.
equally I do think some people are intolerant and grumpy when it comes to children being part of society, which is very sad.

I'm a Londoner, a lot of the adults I've encountered have no self & spatial awareness. It's why you get people stopping on escalators, crowding around & blocking exits, standing in inconvenient places etc.

& the fucking rucksacks, if you are going to insist on keeping your packed protruding rucksack on, stop turning around every 2 minutes & bashing people!