To ask if Co-Ed is better than single sex..

[CHiSOCG]

For girls? My DH is keen on Co-Ed. Most of my friends are looking at local single sex grammar or independent. Of course most will go co-ed comprehensive if they don’t pass the 11+ for the grammar.

Depends where you live

I went to a single sex comprehensive until 16 them went to a mixed college.

I actually went to 100% all female environment to an 80% male one. I work in STEM in a male dominated field so you can see why.

Where I live there are single sex comps but they tend to be over subscribed.

I already told my DP that our DD is going single sex. He is fine with it as he went to a mixed school and didn't like the shit he saw.

@RedWingBoots the fact that is depends on where you lives should be enough to tell you that the system is failing girls. Because either all girls have access to safe schools (whether through changing the way we socialise boys or through SS education) or none do. It isn't acceptable for some to have the option but not others. And it will always be those who do not have money who get hit - because moving to a suitable area is also about having money.

That's because girls don't mention it to adults. It's just what happens. They get harassed on their way to school by both boys and random men from 20-80 years old and the most they'd get would be 'why were you talking to them? Couldn't you ignore them and walk away?' or 'that's just how men/boys are'.

Then they get into school. 'Why didn't you say anything to the teacher? Why did you let him hug you? What were you doing on the field in the first place? Had you rolled your skirt up? He just likes you. He was just showing off to his friends. Why weren't you with any friends? What were you thinking of sending that photo? Now what is everybody going to think of you?'

and that's if they complain - 90% of the time, the hugging, the nudging, the groping from an unidentified boy, the one they liked but didn't expect to be demanding photos but says they'll just tell everybody she sent anyway, the hanging a schoolbag over the lock to the changing room door, the catcalling from the classroom they have to run past during PE, the showing her explicit porn, the questions about 'do you do anal? Jamie said you did', 'I can see your bra, why are you showing off?' is kept quiet or excused by 'Oh, don't worry, Miss, he's just like that' isn't even anything weird enough to even think of mentioning, much less complaining about.

@NeverDropYourMooncup

And you think ss will help that?

It certainly my means they get a respite from it, and don’t have to contend with it during school hours, while they’re learning.

As I said, I was routinely getting felt up aged 11-12 while at intermediate school (co-ed). I remember standing in the library looking for a book one time, and some little shit putting his hand up my leg. This was 1985 or 6.

Then I moved to SS from 13-17, and no - I did not get felt up, cat called or low-level assaulted at all while at school. Not once did I even have to think about the possibility of it.

@RenegadeMatron

Who gets a respite from it?

The girls at mixed school?

How are they getting a respite from it?

Yes - because they get six and a half hours a day freedom from the majority of it - so there's just the boys/men on the way to and from school to deal with - and SS schools do take a hard line and will report harassers/men hanging around just past the gates to the Police.

It wasn't the catcalling from twats in vehicles that accounted for the majority of harassment or assaults I experienced many years ago and girls do now - it's the boys in the school, whether on site, in the same class or on the way home at the same time.

What….?

You said ‘and you think ss (single sex) will help with that?’

My answer is - absolutely, yes.

@NeverDropYourMooncup

How are girls at mixed schools getting six hours away from it?

They dont go to a ss school?

So how does ss help them?

@RenegadeMatron

How?

How does ss help girls at a mixed school?

I was at school in 1985-6 in the Netherlands and this never happened to me. No cat calling, no whistling, no harrassment on the way to school either. If it was happening to girls in the 80s in the UK then it's a UK culture problem and a bloody serious one.

And for all of you who are so grateful that you/your DDs get that respite from SS - spare a thought for all the girls whose parents cannot afford that for their DDs.

Nope being in a suitable area is down to luck for most people.

My DP grew up in a shitty area. There were and still are single sex secondary state girls and boys schools.

I’m in NZ, not the UK. Misogyny is an issue the world over.

So the solution is for me not to have gone to a single sex school, and for me not to choose one for my DD, because not everyone can go to one? OK….

Here in my (relatively small, by international standards) city there are six single sex (for girls) schools to choose from - two state, two RC, and two private.

The choice is open to everyone. I’m choosing single sex, and no apologies for it.

Someone again, the answer to this is, absolutely - yes.

And for all of you who are so grateful that you/your DDs get that respite from SS - spare a thought for all the girls whose parents cannot afford that for their DDs

I cant access it for my dds. I sure as hell do not begrudge those who can doing so.

Its nothing short of stupid to not take it if you want it just because the rest of us have to chose between shit shitter and shitterer. Amd don't feel guilty either.not like the.lack of choice is your fault

@RenegadeMatron

No one asking you to apologise.

But you said ss absolutely helps with the problem of sexual harassment in mixed schools

How?

Such a good question to read everyone’s views. I went to a co-Ed and find it impossible to even imagine going to a single sex school, so it’s really hard to make any kind of comparison between one thing I’ve experienced and the other I can only guess about.

It doesn’t help girls who go to coed schools. But most people will not be able to help those girls in the short 5 year window between primary and gcse. Change takes time and 1 person making an effort is not likely to change things. So what should people do if they are faced with a bad school in their area. Well they could send their kid there on principle. Or they could send their kid to a different school (private or state) or move area or home ed. if there was a school where there was a problem with sexual harassment (not all co-ed schools), I wouldn’t send my kid there if I had other options - but I know that parents are unlikely to hear about it until their kid gets there.

This! 100%

I said single sex absolutely helps, not that it helps girls in mixed schools.

How does single sex not help?

If the choice is there, for those who wish to make it, single sex absolutely 100% helps.

@Whatwouldscullydo

How is the lack of choices people's fault?

@RenegadeMatron

I asked how it helps the girls in mixed sex schools

You said it did. So how does it help?

How does it help for those who don't have a choice?

How does it help on a societal level?

@Topgub - no you didn’t.

Go back and read your post.

You asked ‘how does single sex help?’

You didn’t ask ‘how does single sex help girls in mixed schools?’

Single sex schools provide girls who go to them respite for the hours while they’re there learning.

It’s a choice open to many, just as mixed is also a choice open to many (and that many take).

To be honest, I’m not really sure what you’re asking or suggesting.

I am guessing that you seem to think that because not everyone can choose single sex, those who can should opt out, and they should all sit empty.

Not going to happen.

@RenegadeMatron

Yes, in context of the conversation of girls in mixed sex schools being sexually assaulted I asked how does single sex schools help.

I meant help them which I clarified and you repeated again, yes absolutely.

It doesn't.

There are no ss state schools here so it's not a choice open to many at all.