Is 38 too old to start trying for first baby

[Lagertha6]

I have been with my DP for 7 years and lived together for 2. We both turn 38 in Jan and have been talking about trying for a baby for about 18 months.

I keep putting it off but with my age factored in I'm beginning to panic that I will have left it too late to have a baby. It would be our first and only one.

I'm worrying as my sister, maternal aunt and cousin on my mums side all had problems conceiving. My sister had IVF which worked, my aunt had first child naturally but couldn't have a 2nd baby via IVF and my cousin also had failed IVF.

will this be a case of repeating history? We are going the states in Jan so agreed to start trying when we get back.

I do want a baby but would be fine if it took a year to have a child as I love my freedom and no responsibility.

Do I start trying in Jan or wait longer?

Obstetrically elderly, you don't have time on your side. If you want to do it, do it now.

The rate of miscarriage is higher as you get older. As said if this is something that you want then you need to start trying straight away. My Mum had me by accident, at 40. She'd gone on holiday, forgot her pill and didn't think that it would matter at her age. Do you really want a child?

If you take the pill, consider coming off it and use something else for a few months so if you do get pregnant you can still fly - or even better bring the holiday forward.

It’s evident that your family’s fertility history is part of your thought process, if it was something you were worried about I would imagine that trying to get pregnant would have come up sooner in your relationship to avoid possible disappointment. You ask if 38 is too late when really you’re asking if 39 is by waiting until January.

nobody has a way of telling if you’ll have issues or not, but from the way you have phrased your post it doesn’t sound much like you either want children or are aware of just how much it may take emotionally and possibly financially to have them. It is rarely the case of picking a month and going for it, hence why it’s called trying, you keep going until you get pregnant- in an ideal world.

Personally I think the question you should really be asking is how do you feel about never having children. If you were told it was off the table 100% tomorrow how would you feel? You’re more likely to get an honest emotion to your thought processes right now, and if that fills you with sorrow and regret, then I certainly wouldn’t be delaying trying for another 6 months as time really does matter in these circumstances and it’s possible that 6 months might be the difference between falling pregnant or failing to get pregnant.

If you really want to try to conceive, waiting over half a year (at 38) is insanity.

Chance per cycle is dropping all the time, as you move through your 20s and 30s, towards 5% at 40.

You should take full advantage of not being at 5% chance per cycle yet, not wait til you're dropping further towards it.

Start now. Had our first at 32, second a week shy of 9 years later.

the second, even though I’d been there and done it before was so much more physically challenging (I was fit and healthy, still am). I think having a first at that age would be equally if not more challenging.

good luck.

I started trying at 36, had issues conceiving, went through IVF and had twins at 41. It's not too late but you'll never be more fertile again than you are right at this minute so if it's something you want get moving now because the next 5 years is likely your last chance and if there are issues you need time xx

The posters who mentioned a fertility check (not foolproof but better than nothing) are right, as os the posted who suggested ubiquitol.

Zinc, selenium etc etc are important too.

I had my two children at 39 and 42. Not too late at all :)

Start now.

I started trying at 38. I'm currently 7 months pregnant with my first and I'm 41. I knew I had fertility issues and we did need IVF. I've had 2 losses before this one. It's been tough going. If you do want children then you do probably need to start as soon as it can be a long process.

Also I wouldn't get caught up in all the ridiculous and expensive supplements and fertility appointments. Most of them do nothing.
These things are sold to desperate women.
Relax, and enjoy lots of sex! If nothing happens in 6mths see your GP and he'll refer you for any testing.

Ubiquitol/q10 and zinc, selenium etc have solid evidence. They do not have to be expensive.

A fertility check up woty a reputable clinic does not have to cost a lot and may highlight important things that you don't want to waste time ttc not knowing.

Def start asap as it can be easy or it can be very hard. Just had DD at 38 in July & it took us 3 very hard years with 2 miscarriages & ivf. In the end DD was a natural pregnancy (after a natural miscarriage too)

If you both want a baby get on 🍆

Jesus, this thread is making me feel very old! I’m 38 op, and done having babies, but lots of people around me (same age) are still having them! If it’s definitely what you want you should probably start soon though.

6 months ttc over 35 is the guideline but 6 months is a lot if time in terms of ttc esp at that age; a lot of ppl say they've been trying for 6 months whether they have or not to get in the system and start getting checks, while trying.

I would get cracking now as if you do need fertility treatment you would want to start that sooner rather than later. I got pregnant just hitting 40 but it had taken over 3 years and we had started fertility treatment. I honestly wouldn't be delaying for a holiday.

Coenzyme Q10 is also scientifically backed up as helping older women conceive: something to do with the mitochondrial wall which helps prevent some genetic abnormalities. I had been having weird cycles until I started taking it too. Nothing to do with being desperate, there is evidence out there.

If you actively ttc, best tk become very familiar with your cycle, ovulation tests are good for that, with an app.

There are also bracelets and a tampon like device that identify ovulation.

I don't have experience of them to recommend or not.

Start now.

Had my older 3 DCs in my 20s. Preg within 2 months each time. So no fertility probs basically.

In my late 30s it took 2 years of intense TTC to finally get preg. for DD4. That's how far fertility can fall off the cliff.

If you really want to be a mum don't hang about any longer.

Get busy right away! We started trying when I was 39 and it took 18 months for me to get pregnant. We decided in advance that if it didn't happen, we would let it go and not have IVF. No idea whether we would have stuck to that. I had DS1 at 41. Putting it off when you're already 38 is probably not wise, with or without a family history of difficulty conceiving.

You love your freedom and responsibility but want to have a child?

*lack of

Sorry but I agree with the poster who said it’s insanity to wait 6 months at 38. I found out I had low ovarian reserve age 34. You can’t predict what issues (or not) you may encounter.