To object to my manager arriving at my house

[HerveLeger]

My line manager turned up at my house at 14:00 today. Rang the doorbell - I didn’t answer because I wasn’t expecting a delivery. I live in the middle of nowhere, I don’t get random callers. I don’t lock my back door. Next thing I know, my manager is in my house. “Just checking”. Apparently I sounded a bit weird in the team meeting this morning. Which is odd, as I didn’t actually speak in the team meeting. Am I BUR to find this completely inappropriate? She is a lovely person and I have had some mental health issues in the past. For which she has been very supportive. But this was one day - half a day, when I wasn’t present at work. She let herself in.. next thing I knew, she was in my sitting room. It was a bit scary :(

I agree with @bluesapphire48. Honestly, some of the replies on this thread are so odd. What sort of a world are some of you living in, where people shouldn't care about the welfare of others, where people don't answer the door unless they are expecting a delivery or a visit from someone? If this is modern UK society then I'm thankful I don't live there.

Could you explain this to my phones that they shouldn’t be registering unanswered withheld numbers? I never answer these unless I am waiting for a call back from someone who I know have their number withheld. But they always show up on my miss call list.

What a relief they saved a murderer!

OP said she didn't see any missed calls. No idea what mobile reception is like out in the middle of nowhere where no one answers doors.

Then again OP could also have put them on airplane mode before her nap (has it been clarified whether a nap took place during the work day?)

Shame you weren’t having a shag when she let herself in 😂
Wonder how many posters would stop having sex or a shit to go and rush to answer the door. Or if they have a crippling migraine. Just some examples of why people don’t answer the door for the unimaginative.

Not unimaginative, non-door-answerers have given their reasons: 'not expecting anyone/a delivery'. Simply non-sensical 😇

Stealing isn't legal either, but if that's their intent, leaving the door unlocked only makes it easier.
On the other hand, if the occupant truly was in trouble and needed help, and someone entered the unlocked house and rescued them, it would be a cruel repayment of their efforts to prosecute them for trespassing.
Not that I don't think that sort of ugliness doesn't happen.

Me, too. I'm afraid, though, that it isn't just in the UK where people are unconcerned about others.

It would be the police not paramedics who would force entry (although technicall nobody should without a warrant unless police have good reason to believe there is a crime in progress). Police do welfare visits not ambulance.

It one of those bizarre mumsnet things I put down to class. Can't imagine not answering the door.

Answer the door! She was worried, what if she’d left and you were found days later in a pool of your own vomit??? Think how she’d have felt.
if you live in the middle of now where then surely someone is knocking because they’ve come to see you whether it’s a parcel or a welfare check 🙄

At least have a peak before ignoring the person

"What sort of a world are some of you living in, where people shouldn't care about the welfare of others, where people don't answer the door unless they are expecting a delivery or a visit from someone? If this is modern UK society then I'm thankful I don't live there"

Ha ha. I always opened the door when I lived in the UK. I don't now. I have my reasons.

I would say dollars to donuts there is a back story. Why else would a line manager take time away from their duties to go out to no where to individually check up on an employee who said they have had mental health issues.

I would assume you’d need to be very worried about a colleague/employee to enter their house without their permission. To me that would be: employee doesn’t turn up at work. Is not answering phones. You’ve tried family contacts and nobody knows where they are. At that point you would get the police involved or on Mumsnet go over yourself and let yourself in.

I don’t think a gap of a few hours after a Teams meeting (with no phone call to actually see if you are ok) warrants an unauthorised entry in to a employee’s home. The only reason for worry was that the OP ‘seemed funny’. So call them and see if they are ok? Don’t rock up and let yourself in.

You can show care and compassion for an employee without surprising them at their home address in the middle of the day unannounced.

I feel you'd have to hear both sides of the story to really understand why the manager arrived unannounced.

This is me. Only answer if I’m expecting someone/something. If I’m not in the mood to deal with people I just ignore the door and sometimes the phone too 😂

Trespass is not a crime in the UK. You can't prosecute someone for simplywalking into your house.

OP - I get it. I've read all your updates and you sound perfectly rational and have answered all pps questions. Your manager's behaviour was odd and out of proportion.

Interesting as I don't think OP does sound rational. She sounds unusual, or odd, in her own words.

I really wish her manager could share her side.

So no phone calls/texts or emails to check about your welfare beforehand? Turning up at your house and letting herself in isn’t appropriate. Do they have a welfare check procedure? One concerning aspect: this does show a weakness in your house security. Your dog didn’t alert you to a person walking in. Maybe get a camera which alerts you if the you leave the back door open?

I find some of these comments really sad. Shouldn’t we look out for each other and go out of our way sometimes if we’re worried about someone’s safety. All the ‘inappropriate’ comments and reporting to HR, this is a woman who was worried about a member of her staff. As the OP said she has had previous mental health issues.

I doubt the manager would have gone round for shits and giggles! And put herself in the position of being reported to HR if she wasn’t worried about the OP.

welfare checks can take hours before anyone turns up.

this is why people don’t help each other any more.

But she wasn’t helpful to the OP. Many people would find their manager turning up at their house unannounced in the middle of the day highly stressful and could contribute further to any issues they were having.

If you are worried about an employee (though I don’t understand the worry - it’s hardly as though she’d gone missing) you would call them first and arrange a meeting. There are correct procedures to go through to protect both the manager and the employee (in their own home!).

Has the manager been helpful in this situation?

@TildaRae if someone doesn’t turn up for work or online meetings, doesn’t answer calls, texts, it’s good to check. The supervisor hadn’t tried any of these and let themselves in the house.

I can’t think of any situation where this is appropriate. I think the insinuation on here by those supportive of the manager is that the OP was about to top herself? Anything else could have been dealt with by arranging a meeting in the office and talking through her welfare concerns then.

If the OP was suicidal (and there would have to be a huge back story not being told here to deduce that from the OP being slightly ‘off’ on a teams call) then is the manager - rather than the emergency services who are trained to deal with this situation - the best person to deal with that? She is a line manager not a mental health expert.

quite, i think she was being caring, and you not answering the door might have added to her concern?