Asking DH if we can take out mortgage at 55

[EnglishDutch]

I want to move to be near to my recently bereaved 85 yo dad (I live an hour away from him). Lovely dream house has come up for sale over the road from him. Ideal in many respects. But it's a big stretch for us as it's offers over 450k (likely to go for 500k +). Our current house (no mortgage) is worth minimum 180k and we have 190k in savings. So would most likely need to take out a mortgage. We are both 55. Likely to inherit about 250k in next few years (my dad says).
OH flatly refuses to take out a mortgage. AIBU to ask him?
My dad said yesterday he would give me my inheritance early but then changed his mind as it would be unfair to my 2 brothers (I agree).

Looking at the maths, it is reasonable, assume price 500k , mortgage at 320 ( putting old house proceeds in)....this is without dipping into savings. Guess it is DPs reason for no mortgage......

But the point is, if you put all your savings into your property, you can't access it in an emergency.

They can keep back a couple of thousand for emergencies.

That sucks @Arrivederla :(

It was similar for my dad. He was absolutely fine until developed sight issues in his late fifties and found the idea of working for another decade with a degenerative condition quite scary. His sight is still okay but he can no longer drive at night (a necessity for his previous job) and he would struggle to work full-time now.

He's still fit/healthy enough to do things like travel and continue with his hobbies, but that's very different to having to stick with full-time work because of financial commitments.

I'd want more than a "couple thousand" in the bank for emergencies in my mid-fifties.

And before you say, yes, I know lots of people have no savings, but I would never get rid of all my cash savings by choice.

Why wouldn't they dip into the substantial savings?

Sounds like a lot of hassle to me, lol.

It's clear this thread is pretty fairly divided, but at the end of the day, OP's DH is in the camp of not wanting a new mortgage in his 50's, so OP is going to have to come to terms with that and come to a compromise somewhere.

On the face of it, I don't really see why its an issue or out of your budget, but I do understand why your DH would be reluctant to wipe out your savings. (although you need to take any inheritance out of the plan completely - that may or may not happen so there is no point considering it. ) You wouldn't need a massive mortgage going by what you've written, and on what you earn its easily payable before official retirement age. You're only 55. However, if your DH doesn't want to, then I think that its fair enough. I think you have to compromise if you really want to move to be nearer your dad, and find somewhere a bit less nice.

I'd want more than a "couple thousand" in the bank for emergencies in my mid-fifties.

Why? Are you in your fifties or just speculating?

Maybe OP wouldn't mind the hassle.

So you put £120k of your savings towards the house, which leaves you with a mortgage of approx £1k per month over 20 years. You will still have a savings pot of £70k. If your joint income is £6k you can easily afford £1k payments and pay extra off as well.

@EnglishDutch

I am sorry for your loss, it is always hard to lose a parent. As pp have advised you need to wait 12 months before making a big decision.

However, during the 12 months you can get your financial affairs in order. You and your DH can also have open conversations about your future.

1. Keep a record of income and expenditure, how much you save each month.
2. Research your pension options, how much income do you need in retirement. Are you both entitled to full state pension? When do you plan to retire, do you plan to phase retirement by reducing hours, if so when. Will you take lump sums or higher pension? How does taking your pension early impact on your monthly pension income.
3. Work out how much your commuting costs, not just fares but time. Do the same for your trips to your Dad.
4. Look at properties near your Dad I.e. no more than 15minute drive. Keep the price range realistic. Research the area etc.
5. Work out savings on both commuting costs and time. The difference could pay a small mortgage.
6. There is a reason you haven’t moved nearer to your Dad before. Particularly as you like the area. On the figures quoted you could have afforded to move some time ago. It would have shortened your husbands commute. What are those reasons? Why are they not as valid now? Where do you want to retire too?
7. You need to be honest with your DH and this could be a crunch point in your relationship. From what you have said your DH isn’t going to move no matter how much you want to.
8. Do not factor your potential inheritance into your calculations. Having your Dad around is worth more than any inheritance.

I’m sorry if some of the questions are challenging at this difficult time but you need to work through the options to reach the right decision.

Best of luck

Does it mean you or your DH can't retire as planned? That's the only reservation I'd have. You have large savings and a high income which means repayments aren't a problem and I assume you could downsize later if you wanted to release the equity?

I would do it if you prefer the house/area generally and can see yourself staying there long term (regardless of your dad). If so try and sell the positives to your partner.
It's definitely affordable for you and not that much of a risk based on your income.
We will have more than £150k to pay off at 55 with a lower annual salary. I wish we didn't but equally we live in an area we want to be in. If we really wanted to we could theoretically sell up and move. Our bigger house has gone up in value MUCH more than the smaller more affordable property we were in before so if we downsized now we'd be in a better position financially despite paying mortgage payments and stamp duty.

I would do it too. It is affordable and you will be happier and have a better quality of life.
It will be a good investment too. What return are you getting on your current savings?

Thank you for your kind comment, coffeecups - I appreciate it.
You just never know what is round the next corner. 😕

Your Dad should move near you, not the other way round.