Asking DH if we can take out mortgage at 55

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I want to move to be near to my recently bereaved 85 yo dad (I live an hour away from him). Lovely dream house has come up for sale over the road from him. Ideal in many respects. But it's a big stretch for us as it's offers over 450k (likely to go for 500k +). Our current house (no mortgage) is worth minimum 180k and we have 190k in savings. So would most likely need to take out a mortgage. We are both 55. Likely to inherit about 250k in next few years (my dad says).
OH flatly refuses to take out a mortgage. AIBU to ask him?
My dad said yesterday he would give me my inheritance early but then changed his mind as it would be unfair to my 2 brothers (I agree).

But they can only put down £370k if they wipe out their savings - a very very risky move at 55.

I think there's different definitions of "afford" in instances like this though. Have the money? Yes. Wise way to wipe out savings and equity? Sorry, I wouldn't.

Sorry OP, even with the circumstances I wouldn't want to in your DP's shoes.

I'm a similar age and I'll be working until I'm at least 68 so it wouldn't concern me.
If it's a good area you're not going to lose out anyway as you could resell.

Surely you wouldn't want to use all your savings ?
What if one of you lost your job ?
Also , I wouldn't rely on any inheritance.

Their savings would still be there, just tied up in property.

The OP and her husband are not old people which many posters, seem to suggest that they are.

Just to add balance to my earlier post, we moved last year when dh was 55. We don’t earn anything like you, but have a £100k mortgage over 10 years, which costs us £1000/month, which is very comfortable for us.
I just don’t think this is the right time for you to move though

The question here is really your earnings, how long you want to work for and your health.

what will the monthly repayments be ans if you don’t inherit, how long to pay off the capital?

personally I would go for it if the numbers worked as your income is ok

YANBU to ask but he’s flatly refused and you have other more affordable options, so decision made surely? I’m on your DHs side personally.

So literally not there then...

Prob need to borrow 150k if the house goes for over the asking price.
Both jobs reasonably secure (they depend on how hard we work but been in same jobs for years so no change on the cards).
Monthly payments would be manageable as combined income over 6k per month before bonuses, which could be used to pay it off quicker

Inheritances are not guaranteed.
My parents have quite a bit of money BUT
Sadly, mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s 4 years ago and will most likely need to go into a home one day.
If my parents now give any money away it will be seen as deprivation of assets.
I don’t think my sister or I will ever get much inheritance and I certainly wouldn’t want to be taking out a mortgage at my age (49).

I assume at the age of 55 your DH is preferring to maximise his pension contributions rather than take on a debt.

It’s not his age that I’d worry about but rather you’re relying on money that you don’t have, and might not get for years, to pay it off.

Would you even be able to get that mortgage? Like would a mortgage broken even approve it? 150k is a lot to pay back at age 55 and they don’t count affordability based on what inheritance is coming etc

So you are relying on inheritance to help, I wouldn’t be relying on that, what happens when or if the person goes into a care home and has to self fund your inheritance could be eaten up! Nobody knows what’s going to happen in the next 5 mins let alone can say when you could have inheritance, I would stay where you are, so I agree with your husband

Don't count on inheritance. Your elderly Dad might deteriorate and need to spend it all on residential care/home assistance. A mortgage lender, certainly will not regard a future inheritance as loan security.

Raising a mortage at 55 relies on the likelihood of repaying ; will the borrower live long enough, or have a secure income long enough, to cover the payments.
If the middle aged borrower 's health and medical record suggest a limited lifespan, it may be very hard to get a loan. Ditto, if the move would include retirement from paid employment.

I wouldn't put all my savings into property in my mid-fifties.

No, you're not old at 55, but you're still closer to retirement than not, and there are many threads from people on here who managed full-time work just fine in their fifties, then found themselves really struggling 5-7 years later and needing to drop to part-time or take early retirement.

That would be too big of a risk for me.

I do you think you need to look at all the solutions, my action plan is to load up my pension now with my age being 40s so that I will have the 25% I can withdraw at 58 and use that to upgrade my housing situation, is that a possibility for you ?

You are suggesting -

1. at the age of 55
2. to wipe out your life’s savings
3. And also wipe out your entire equity
4. to take on a mortgage
5. which relies on potential inheritance which is barely a guarantee given old age and sickness on the part of the parent?

if my spouse suggested this with any degree of seriousness we would need to be parting ways.

could you not rent somewhere in the town your dad lives and rent your current house out? You could be into a rental within a month. A friend of mine made an offer on a house before Christmas, they still haven't exchanged due to hold ups in the chain.

Thank you! I don't feel particularly old 🙂

I am not averse to mortgage debt in later life we took one out and paid it off in 5 years. It's doable but both have to be onboard otherwise resentment will build. IMO your husband has made his feelings known and you should respect that. You can both always live with your father should the need arise to care for him.

Hi, actually yes it is. I hadn't thought of that, thanks!

If you go ahead and buy the house, have you thought about how you will feel after your dad dies and you are living right opposite your parents’ house. Seeing new people move in and no doubt ripping out things your parents loved. This could be very painful for you.