Did anyone else get rude comments about their looks growing up?

[Eggandcheesemuffin]

I used to have a very large gap between my front teeth, crooked bottom teeth as well. Had various comments over the years, even a 'friend' told me I'd be so pretty if 'only I fixed my teeth'.

In adulthood I decided to look into braces but then people started saying, oh you don't need braces your teeth are fine etc..
It didn't seem to stop men being attracted to me but they always bothered me.
Anyway I have straight teeth now with no gap as I got Invisalign braces.

Next, my nose, I used to have quite a prominent side profile with a bump. Two (not very nice) exes took it upon themselves to tell me I had a big nose. It wasn't just them, I'd never liked it myself. As the front was fine, I started to get nose filler which I still get today. It's significantly improved my nose, people tell me I don't need it but I feel like I don't want to go back to my old nose.

Also had very bad acne which the same ex and 'friend' commented on. The ex told me he had been 'embarrassed to be seen with me in public' because my spots were so bad.
Acne was more of a common issue so people weren't as mean about it, but with age it's just cleared up, and I only have a couple of spots now though I remember being at the front of a class and some kids whispering "She's got a really spotty face."

With the awful ex, I came across a text one day that his female friend had sent him, when she found out he was interested in me. She said, "Don't go for her, she's really ugly! You can't possibly stoop so low!"

Of course that made me feel great.

Anyway I'm happy with my looks today although it's sad I ended up 'fixing" all these things. Just thinking about it today made me angry. Why did any of these people feel the right to pick on my looks like that? Has anyone else been through this?

So many comments about my weight growing up! I find it a bit heartbreaking as I have my own daughter now and I cannot imagine commenting on her body in a negative way. Not just throwaway comments but spiteful, targeted insults designed to undermine and upset me. I would never do that to anyone let alone my own child.
i also received endless comments about my breasts from family members. I’ve always been large chested and it was just constant policing from the minute I developed them. Made me super paranoid and I always cover up now/feel obscene if my top is slightly low cut. I wish people just wouldn’t comment on how others look but people seem to do it with such ease.

"She's so ugly it's funny"
"If you were an animal you'd be a hamster because of your face"
"Your boobs jut out"
"Your boobs are fake, we know you stuff socks down your bra" (I didn't, I was petite and had a large bust)
"Your hair is soooooo thin" (touches it in disgust)
"Your stretch marks are insane"

... high school 🤷🏼‍♀️

I had the opposite. My mum really struggled with poor body image, especially over weight issues, and she was so astounded to have a "beautiful" child (I was extremely tiny and had white blonde hair) that she always made a huge fuss about my looks and how special I was for being beautiful. Then puberty kicked in and turned me into a troll overnight and it was extremely hard to deal with that, because I'd been raised to put so much value on physical looks. And honestly I really was a troll during puberty, I had the worst acne, such crooked teeth that two rounds of braces still haven't given me perfect teeth, and gained a lot of weight.

I'm okay looking as an adult but not exactly someone to stop traffic and it's really fucked me up, the idea that I'm supposed to be beautiful just because my mother wanted a beautiful daughter to live through.

Yes, very tall, skinny, and self conscious, which wasn' t a fashionable look when l was younger at school, but then all of a sudden things changed and so did the negative comments.
My Aunt had a habit of dramatically whincing when she saw me and telling me l looked painfully thin. My Mum calmly replied "At least she won' t ever worry about going on a diet" (as this particular Aunt was forever dieting) and its true, l never have, so l had the last laugh.

Curly short hair
Overweight
Glasses
Buck teeth
Acne
Short
Big boobs from age 10 (!)

I was bullied badly and there are so many comments I can remember and names I was called. Miss Piggy sticks in my mind.

Now I've grown curly my hair I love it, I lost weight and am now a size 8, I lift weights so I'm toned. Still short with big boobs! But I dress nicely, I got braces to fix my teeth I my late 20s and my acne cleared up completely. I wear contact lenses, so no glasses.

I've been told I'm attractive now and I do get asked out, though happily married - but I'm not particularly pretty, just average, but when I think about what I used to look like it is a huge transformation. Definitely fuelled by a desire to be less 'ugly'. I would love a breast reduction but realise this is psychological rather than them being a physical issue. I envy those with A and B cups!!

Not when I was younger but I sometimes work in dementia units and have been told all about myself on a regular basis. One man looked at me with pity and asked me what had happened. I said what do you mean? And he said 'you have such a lovely face it's a shame you're so fat' 🤣 I mean he isn't wrong but it did make me laugh.

Fair skin and dark hair.
Imagine how prominent my face fuzz looked. Bullied through my entire high school years for it.

I'm actually mostly mad at my mum. She is obsessed with fair skin (she's indian, as is my father but shes incredibly fair skinned)
She told me growing up that I fair skinned. Like constantly. She would always talk about how her entire family was practially white and had 'coloured eyes' (they have a mix of blue/green and hazel eyes). Like it was some sort of ultimate achievement of beauty. Commented on how white my cousin was in comparison to me. Basically that fair is best and dark is ugly.
So even as an adult I have a very warped sense of colour when it comes to my own skin. Like I literally can't see what shade I am, which means at 35 is STILL get foundation and concealers that are too dark for my skin tone. It's bizarre. I just can't see what I am.
I always thought my 'facial hair' wasn't that obvious because my skin wasn't 'light' enough to show that contrast. But it always was. The damage this caused to my confidence was horrendous and quire irreversible.
I had my own mother making me feel inadequate because 'fair is pretty' and she would point out that I'm dark. Then school I had all the lads calling me nasty names and telling me I had a beard or a mustache.
I cant describe how warped my vision is when I look in the mirror. It's truly damaged me.

Gosh. I look back and I think...how the fuck could someone fuck up their child's confidence in their own skin colour. My mum is just a fucking white supremacist in an Indian woman's body.

Sorry I hope I didn't derail. But I've never been able to put into words the damage that's been done to my confidence. I could never ever do that to my DD. Maybe one day I'll start a thread about it lol

I wasnt** fair skinned that should read

A boy in the year above me said to me 'nice tits, shame about the face' in front of all his mates in the playground when I was about 14.

I had the same hairdresser for years as a child. One time I was wearing a bit of lippy that was free with a magazine (!!) and he said to my mum 'actually, she isn't such a plan Jane after all'.

My mother once said to me that "I could be quite pretty if I tried". I was 12. Every Sunday afternoon meant having my blackheads steamed out. She never laid off my thin hair, big arms and legs and dirty looking skin.

I've spent the best part of my life worrying about my looks: I won't have my photo taken if I can avoid it and I've never been comfortable in my skin.

It sticks. I believed her because she was my mother.

You have to be taught to make snide comments about how people look.

SIL:

"It's a pity your DSD has her mother's hair."

"Oh iCouldsleep, your hair looks so much better now you've straightened it!"

"Oh iCouldsleep, your new baby DD will have to dye her eyelashes like I do once she's older".

SIL learned this at the feet of my MIL.

DH has less of this habit (he is ginger, spent years hearing it all at school, so maybe he kinda knows). But has occasionally said out loud, as we are driving past someone, "Jeezo, that man has a fat belly."

Again, taught.

Funnily enough, my DH is one of the most self-conscious men I've ever met. No outfit is ever good enough the first time. Jeans need ironed. Shoes need polished. A shirt once it's washed a few times looks "minging".

MIL is like this too. Was mortified to be seen in evening wear out on the street for a few minutes between wedding and reception. What if people laughed at her

I've spent 10 years telling my DH, "Darling... it's not a fashion show. Everyone is wrapped up with their own stuff. No one actually cares."

But maybe the one I should start trotting out when he's too self-conscious to go into town is: "Those who mind don't matter. And those who matter don't mind."

Oh gosh, yes. So basically I have bad teeth. I looked ofter them when I were younger and the only issue I had was needing braces also. My mum however couldn't figure out whythe dentist wanted to take out 2 healthy teeth to fix my over bite. Growing up through high school I got the god you're goofy comments and if your teeth were straight they'd be perfect. Fast forward 3 years and I fell pregnant with my first daughter, that was when I started having issues with my teeth, they started getting discoloured and I had bleeding gums all the way through. That was it then my teeth were yellow and my days the comments from people were horrid. I always thought the goofy comments growing up were bad but adults are so much worse at bullying. I had another daughter 7 yrs later and I had the same issues where my teeth literally broke or fell out. Now I look like I "belong on the Jeremy Kyle show" I overheard one person say to a close friend "omg wtf is wrong with her teeth" "she's disgusting" "does she know what a toothbrush is" much more comments but I'd be here all day. Going forward I would love to have perfect looking teeth with no over bite but the only way that'd happen is if I go turkey and finances won't allow that. That and the wow she really went comments. You can't win in life and I've just learned to say it is what it is. People will always find fault with you even if you are what you perceive to be the perfect image in everyone's eyes then you'd be called vain and full of yourself.

Yes I was regularly called a fucking c/nt or retard through high school and was subjected to a 45 minute anti Semitic fuelled rant (based on my facial features) by some boys on the college bus. However one of them smokes so I’ll have fun knowing his future wife will watch him slowly rot from lung disease

I had comments about hairy arms and my nose. My nose did have a large bump. It affected me massively and I wore my hair long and would cover my face with my hand a lot. My dad paid for me to have a nose job for my 21st birthday. It fixed my problem for a few years but now I'm very fat so hate myself because of that. My dad has never ever told me I looked nice and now I'm fat he's very negative towards me, I darent eat infront of him because he comments of everything I eat.
Unfortunately I think my daughter has inherited my nose and whilst I would never say anything to her about it and I tell her she's beautiful every day I do worry that she will be teased about it like I was, and I wish so much she hadn't inherited that from me

I was teased mercilessly for being the only child in the village school with glasses & later one of very few in the senior school, plus by then there was lots more ammo for the bullies - spots, greasy hair, flat chest...

I'm in my 50s now & still feel ugly in my specs, even though I know I look fine & DP tells me I look lovely in them.

Me too.

Not really much from other kids but definitely from family.

"you're pretty when you smile"is a key one that's stuck with me. Of course this is also used by dickhead random men who think I need their input 👍🏼

Also constantly telling me I was the clever one and my younger sister the beautiful one. Damaging for both of us on different levels.

Pointing out my flaws has had the most impact, I'm in my 40's and it can still hurt sometimes.

This thread is fascinating. Awful, but fascinating.

Yes - multiple comments from my mum that I had a long face therefore I should have a fringe, or pointing out to her friends my developing breasts but saying my bum was bugger than the rest of me. Dad saying I was like a fat person in thin persons clothing (whatever the fuck that means!) or my sister calling me ugly all the time. It all still sticks, and it all still hurts.

Bigger not bugger bleddy autocorrect!

I have always had what I thought was bad skin, I thought i had loads of blackheads and only recently learnt at age 36 that it's sebum filaments in large pores. My parents used to call me pizza face and rudolph, they even gave me a rudolph the red nose reindeer stocking at Christmas when I was 13 and found it hilarious. They used to chase me and my dad would pin me down whilst my mother squeezed my disgusting blackheads (actually sebum filaments) causing stretched pores, scaring and pock marks. My mother would also pluck my eyebrows against my will whilst my dad held me down. He also called me a big girl at age 16, I was size 6/8 and 7 and a half stone. My mother always told me i was a funny shape and that I was fat. I don't know how I didnt end up with an eating disorder.

I was badly bullied all the way through secondary school and called ugly, I think it was just cruel comments because I was geeky. Looking at photos I look pretty similar to most other girls.

I was repeatedly asked why I have a "flat nose".

I was a skinny very pale redhead as a kid, I've a birthmark on my face and had no boobs or hips until my 20's and with an army dad constantly being the new kid too? Oh yes!

I was a sensitive soul back then. Now I generally take the attitude "you take me as you find me"

Yup me.

i was called goldfish eyes, fat cow, crater face (really bad acne), scarecrow hair (very unruly frizzy hair) etc etc. some other pretty bad ones but I would rather not say here. One boy asked me out, then when he turned up, he had a bunch of his friends nearby laugh at me - he then said it was a joke and he would never go out with such an ugly girl. Imagine my surprise when years later he asked me out without even realising it was me.

i grew out of all of that - they never grew nice. I do like it when I see them now and they can’t possibly believe I’m the same girl.