Did anyone else get rude comments about their looks growing up?

[Eggandcheesemuffin]

I used to have a very large gap between my front teeth, crooked bottom teeth as well. Had various comments over the years, even a 'friend' told me I'd be so pretty if 'only I fixed my teeth'.

In adulthood I decided to look into braces but then people started saying, oh you don't need braces your teeth are fine etc..
It didn't seem to stop men being attracted to me but they always bothered me.
Anyway I have straight teeth now with no gap as I got Invisalign braces.

Next, my nose, I used to have quite a prominent side profile with a bump. Two (not very nice) exes took it upon themselves to tell me I had a big nose. It wasn't just them, I'd never liked it myself. As the front was fine, I started to get nose filler which I still get today. It's significantly improved my nose, people tell me I don't need it but I feel like I don't want to go back to my old nose.

Also had very bad acne which the same ex and 'friend' commented on. The ex told me he had been 'embarrassed to be seen with me in public' because my spots were so bad.
Acne was more of a common issue so people weren't as mean about it, but with age it's just cleared up, and I only have a couple of spots now though I remember being at the front of a class and some kids whispering "She's got a really spotty face."

With the awful ex, I came across a text one day that his female friend had sent him, when she found out he was interested in me. She said, "Don't go for her, she's really ugly! You can't possibly stoop so low!"

Of course that made me feel great.

Anyway I'm happy with my looks today although it's sad I ended up 'fixing" all these things. Just thinking about it today made me angry. Why did any of these people feel the right to pick on my looks like that? Has anyone else been through this?

Me for my witchy nose when I started secondary school. I felt horrendous about my looks as a teenage girl. I still get sensitive about it but embrace it overall. Have thought about a nose job but recovery sounds painful and I think my other features would look off without my nose. I've been pleased to see women with more prominent noses in the public recently and that gives me more confidence :)

My ex told me I looked like a lobster because I have slightly reddish skin which always flares up in the heat

Red hair and freckles so yes.

Gosh, so sad to read these and I can definitely relate. At secondary school I was regularly stopped in the corridor by boys I didn’t know and told I was ugly etc. And I distinctly remember a boy I got to know when we were both prefects - I thought we got on well and began to ‘hope’ - asking me one day if I’d put my face on inside out. I was horrified and crushed. This was all 40+ years ago and I’ve never got over it. What’s the answer I wonder? 💕and 💐 to everyone!

Lots of comments about my 'big' nose. When I wore my hair up, people suddenly noticed the bump on my nose. It's not as noticeable with my hair down.

Comments about my big hips and flat chest when I was 13/14 - all my friends seemed to have breasts, except one who was thin all over and was 'allowed' to have a flat chest.

My mono brow was another target for hilarious jokes.

Why do people say these things? I honestly don't think I have ever made a negative comment to someone about their appearance in my life. Well, sometimes I forget to say nice things, even though I'm thinking them. But I don't say horrible things.

ginger and overweight

Yep, I had those NHS blue glasses, was plain with strawberry blonde hair.
One of the dinner ladies referred to me as a ‘plain little thing’.
never forgotten it.

Teased for skinny legs at school. They still are! But you expect it about something at school....I'm shocked and saddened to see so many pps were insulted and mocked by their own parents 😔

My DM would always and still does comment on my weight and my size. When I was teen, I had spots and braces, and I got teased by her constantly.. funny enough she doesnt remember any of this..

Funny enough my MIL was the complete oppsite: she would always compliment me on my hair and my skin and how lucky I was.

I have a birthmark on my face. I’ve been trying to ‘fix’ for most of my life. The bullying and comments from children and adults when I was little was relentless

Two boys walked by me in school laughing and said to the other “if I looked like that I’d kill myself”.

All throughout my school years I was made fun of for having upturned eyes. I was called variations of Chinese, Japanese. Delivered as if they were nasty insults. I was shocked by how many people thought it was okay to speak like that.

My friend wanted a group photo at her birthday party and afterwards said “look how normal we all look... and then look at you...”
Same friend got called piggy nose by someone and said “why are they saying that, my nose is cute, have they not seen yours?!”

People have no idea the lasting effect their casual, snide remarks can have. Or maybe they do and it makes them feel so much better. To this day it is hard to go outside and let people see my face. I’ve had people tell me I’m pretty and my family have always complimented me but it doesn’t stick with you or feel true when you’ve been told otherwise.

My mother. "Everyone is staring at you because you look such a sight". Then there were the Christmases when we were lined up and judged on our fatness (I always lost). When I lost weight it was a relief to them "we thought you were going to be a fatty". When I got off the plane it was always "your hair - it needs cutting, it's awful". My sister used to tell me I had bow legs.

I'm sure males don't experience this.

@tootsweeting I’ve had it from school boys, and I’m a teacher. When I was working as a supply teacher, I had kids refuse to come into the classroom because I was too ugly and too fat. You get used to it, but it never stops hurting.

Red hair, glasses, tall.. yep!
Most of it came from my mother who will buy me size 26 clothing (I'm a 16) and comment how I am fat, need to diet, no man will want me, I look awful etc etc etc
Always called "a big girl" - I wasn't big, I was just tall and broad shoulders

Yep. I had a terrible over bite ( like Freddie Mercury) and I uses to get called Rabbit all the time.I had it fixed as teenager with a full mouth brace-that was fun.....it filled my cheeks like a squirrel. I also have very ringlet hair and I used to get called Bush all the time. Now people pay a lot of money for hair like mine!!!

Yes, acne. These days I suspect I would have been put on roaccutane. Children, and some adults, are unkind.

Dumbo for big sticky out ears, mum always put my hair in a tight ponytail which only brought attention to the ears. Had them pinned back around primary 4 and still took me til 40 years old before I’d go out the house with hair tied up.

she’s so tall and skinny, mum liked this so she could tell everyone what a nightmare it was finding me clothes. Many comments at school that I was anorexic, I wasn’t, I did a lot of exercise.

now I have medical issues and hear people say wow she’s put on loads of weight behind my back. I never comment on anybody,

I too really appreciate characterfull faces! I really do mean that. I love big noses and have heard men saying how much they like them too!

I've had my fair share of very negative comments too and (as I'm sure you have) many positives too.

Some people actually enjoy saying horrible (often untrue) things to just hurt peoples feelings. You only have to look at beautiful celebrities instagram pages to see all the nasty things trolls say.

Also like anything in life some people can see good things in a negative light - think of all the things out there where people's opinions differ. It doesn't mean the toxic person's view is right. Not everyone can have good taste afterall!!!

Personally I only ever view people I perceive as mean as unattractive.
Anyone seeing the world in such a nasty shallow light I keep my distance from - they've no place in my world where I'm trying to build on things not break things down like them.

I like people who see the world in deeper more interesting, inquisative ways. E.g I like a comment once that I'd make a brilliant Victorian character on stage (this was a positive person who worked in that field - not an insult haha).

Also someone said I looked just like a tudor person in a painiting they'd seen.
I like the idea that those faces from centuries ago are still around today and a sense that in centuries to come my hardships will be long forgotten about like theirs are but all our genes will still be there in a whole other era!

As I've got older I notice people's energy and general image more than say if they're stereotypically good looking - e.g it's attractive to me when someone's a hard working, strong, tough, kind, working class type. That's not the only type I find attractive just an example.
Like I wouldn't analyse the features of a rock star. Them as a whole is what's appealing!

It makes me angry that people have said such horrible things to you OP. It says far more about them than you. The friend of your ex sounds jealous to me.
I would just focus on being the type to compliment people you admire who deserve it to bring some positive energy into the world, and remember others views are just as easily smashed by someone elses anyway! We're all going through it. Don't take it that you're flawed.

Had bad acne and got teased relentlessly for it. Then covered with make up and got called ugly instead. As an adult I’m fairly attractive (I’m told) - told, slim etc but it still affects me to this day.

Have NC for this. It's so upsetting to read about so many people being psychologically scarred by comments especially from parents.

I grew up with DM and DGM constantly going on about their tiny waists while simultaneously feeding me as it was their only currency when it came to emotion. There were always discussions about my friends and how "lovely and slim" and how I needed to make sure I didn'tget any bigger or I would look pregnant!. I developed an eating disorder when I was 16yrs old which I had for 10 years. To this day DM knows nothing about it.

I have actively tried to parent my DDs with positivity but if I'm honest I really had to work at giving compliments as freely as others because it was so alien to me. I have never made comments around their physical appearance that could be construed negatively because it's taken me so long to like myself. The irony is that I was never very overweight.

Parents who do this to their children are unbelievably harmful imho and my relationship with DM has suffered. Outwardly people would think we are close but to me the feelings that I have towards her are v complicated. Now in my mid 50s I have forgiven myself but not sure that I will ever forgive her.

My mum was (still is) my worst critic. Constantly "don't smile like that- you're showing your gums"; "suck your belly in"- this started when I was about 8 and very slim and continues now; "you've got hands like shovels"- usually followed with a direct comparison to her daintier hands and slimmer wrists; "you never wear skirts/ make-up/do your hair- are you a lesbian?"; " You've always been broad"; "you'd look so much better if you lost weight" and "would you like Botox for your birthday?".

To clarify. I'm 38, a size 16-18 now (was a 12-14 pre kids). I still actively avoid cameras and smiling. I hate how I look and I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that it stems from her constant criticisms. Hiding from my daughters how I feel about myself is a constant chore- I'd hate for them to pick up on it or for me to give them the same insecurities.

Red hair, freckles, large nose. My mum was and still is embarrassed to be seen anywhere with me. Though she was very young and random strangers used to oh so amusingly ask her and my dad if I 'was the milkmans' she didn't like the attention etc, our family used to make similar jokes and their friends would say stuff about it being a shame I hadn't inherited the looks.

I was told I need some mascara on. That doesn’t seem like such a big thing, but my friend said it to me as I was mid way through talking to her. I absolutely hate it when people do that - comment on your looks when you’re trying to talk to them about something completely different. Not to mention that you didn’t even ask them for their opinion anyway!

My mother was the worst I'm sure. The weirdest/most horrible comment was where I thought I was alone and was dancing in the sitting room and I could see myself in a glass cabinet. She said, in rather a mean voice, something like 'you think you look nice don't you?". I think I must have been around six or seven years old.

I'm no contact with her now, and better for it, as she wasn't a pleasant person generally.

As a pp, I was asked by a boy from college if I was anorexic! Can you imagine if I really had been? You don't say things like that to people. And it's not said out of concern, the intention is to insult. It must make them feel better about themselves, because all the people who ever said anything appeared to have their own flaws and insecurities. I never retaliated either.

I've found it useful to post here about it and read experiences of others.