Did anyone else get rude comments about their looks growing up?

[Eggandcheesemuffin]

I used to have a very large gap between my front teeth, crooked bottom teeth as well. Had various comments over the years, even a 'friend' told me I'd be so pretty if 'only I fixed my teeth'.

In adulthood I decided to look into braces but then people started saying, oh you don't need braces your teeth are fine etc..
It didn't seem to stop men being attracted to me but they always bothered me.
Anyway I have straight teeth now with no gap as I got Invisalign braces.

Next, my nose, I used to have quite a prominent side profile with a bump. Two (not very nice) exes took it upon themselves to tell me I had a big nose. It wasn't just them, I'd never liked it myself. As the front was fine, I started to get nose filler which I still get today. It's significantly improved my nose, people tell me I don't need it but I feel like I don't want to go back to my old nose.

Also had very bad acne which the same ex and 'friend' commented on. The ex told me he had been 'embarrassed to be seen with me in public' because my spots were so bad.
Acne was more of a common issue so people weren't as mean about it, but with age it's just cleared up, and I only have a couple of spots now though I remember being at the front of a class and some kids whispering "She's got a really spotty face."

With the awful ex, I came across a text one day that his female friend had sent him, when she found out he was interested in me. She said, "Don't go for her, she's really ugly! You can't possibly stoop so low!"

Of course that made me feel great.

Anyway I'm happy with my looks today although it's sad I ended up 'fixing" all these things. Just thinking about it today made me angry. Why did any of these people feel the right to pick on my looks like that? Has anyone else been through this?

I was short (still am) and quite late to develop so had some comments from other girls about that. Lucky for me I might have been small but I was also gobby and gave back as good as I got so they never bothered after the first comment.

I used to work in a office with considerably younger people. One woman was 20 years old and absolutely drop dead stunning but told me she wanted a boob job because men want girls with big boobs. This woman literally looked like a model and was still insecure about her looks so what chance do average looking people have!

Yes plenty of rude comments from adults, kids my own age, boyfriends... not just growing up but as an adult too.

I'm sort of "Jolie-laide". Quite good looking overall but with various imperfections. The imperfections actually seemed to make people annoyed because i wasn't "doing something" about correcting them. E.g. larger than average nose, bushy eyebrows (before it was fashionable lol), small busted, very straight hair (again when it wasn't fashionable), spots (still get them now in my 40s ffs). I'm actually quite content with my OK but imperfect looks now but as an adolescent it was so upsetting.

I has a boyfriend who used to have a dig about my nose just about every time he saw me. I said once " look what do you expect me to do about it?". He said "but it spoils your face". That didn't really answer the question. Don't worry I soon dumped him. Hopefully he found a new dainty nosed girlfriend.

My own parents were so rude and horrible about my acne which I was so self conscious about. They'd say things like "look at the state of your face, it looks like it exploded" as if I'd brought it on myself by choice. They'd seem really angry about it too as if I was spotty on purpose to embarrass them.

I'm quite slim but whenever I put on a couple of pounds I get people delightedly pointing it out. (Usually much fatter people, oddly.)

There seem to be two sorts of critics. The ones who think you "owe them pretty" and are spoiling their view by daring to be imperfect. And those who think if you're female and OK looking you need to be taken down a peg or two, lest you get too vain.

Oh yes, and I’ve remembered every one, but as I’ve got older I’ve realised it says more about the twat that said it than it does me...
From top to bottom I’ve been told: My nostrils are like a barrel of a shotgun; I’ve got no lips; got a very broad back (comment made by shop assistant when shopping for school uniform age 10); my knees are low (PE teacher said that one!), and my calves are fat.
All the comments were made by men, apart from PE teacher one. I’m 54 now and still can’t believe how nasty comments stay with you...

I was fat, clever and had teachers as parents. Parts of high school were about as fun as you'd imagine

It's taken 30 years to love myself.

Yes about having a flat chest. I remember in primary school, in the last year, a boy calling me 'Flat Stanley'. I mean WTF I was 11, it's primary school. Had this in high school too. Fortunately I was involved with athletics where it was a bonus so I didn't care but I cared about the comments if that makes sense. I'm glad I have a small chest now, it's easier, and I've read about people being in so much pain with larger boobs.

I actually thought it was just me but reading all of these posts has shown me otherwise. It is unbelievable how these things stay with you. I remember hearing two boys sitting at their desks behind me commenting about how ugly I was and saying ‘make up improves it but not much.’ And endless remarks about my nose/nostrils/straight hair/small boobs. It happened at university too, to an extent. And yet I’ve been considered to be good looking, even beautiful, in adulthood (plenty of boyfriends/husbands!) - but still have hang ups about my appearance harking back to my youth. As if all of those people were gorgeous and aesthetically perfect!! If we learn anything it’s how powerful words can be.

I remember my grandmother telling me I don't have the legs for skirts. I was about 14 or 15, I'm still very aware of my chunky calves and knobbly knees! She's a lovely, kind lady- she's just never been afraid to speak her mind!

Yes. I have a receding chin and a sloping forehead, which gives me a convex profile which I hate. But other than that I'm ok, not a stunner by any stretch, just a plain Jane.
Age 10, Two classmates who lived nearby and hung out all the time (but never asked me to join in) saw me walking down the street and started laughing. Then told me they were laughing at my face.
I remember asking my mum if I was pretty, I must have been about 13. She hesitated before saying "Well, we think you are"... erm, thanks?
Mum again, never ever let me wear straight skirts to school, always had me in hideous pleated monstrosities because "not with your legs". I have never worn a skirt since leaving school.

That’s really sad.

Yes mostly from family members and especially my mother. Been chubby all my life so periodic "innocent" jibes are the norm unfortunately.

Some highlights were being judged ugliest girl by boys in high school. My friend found out and looked sad when she told me. Then a few years ago an aunt not in the UK asked me on the phone very seriously "are you still very fat?"

Recently split from Ex "D"H. He seemed to accidentally marry a fatty then seemed to be unsatisfied by that so eyed up young slim girls at any given opportunity. Of course I was imagining it all and how dare I accuse him of such behaviour.

I'm getting even fatter now as stuck in a cycle of stress, anxiety and bad eating. I look back on photos a few years ago and think I was looking quite good so God knows what people think of me now.

School bully called me big ears. Made everyone laugh at me for it. I follow her Instagram and she has a daughter now who is almost a year. Biggest ears you've ever seen on that kid. Let's hope her mum goes easy on her...

Yes; about my weight and the colour of my skin (too dark apparently). After many years I realised the weight comments started when I was under 10 years old; so probably the pre teenage bulk, but I got so much flack for it, especially from my father that it stuck with me. I was a severely overweight teenager and I now have binge eating and emotional eating disorders.

With regards to my skin colour, thankfully the trauma from the comments and opinions hasn't stayed with me. I remember talking to my DH about it when I first met him and he told me it was one of the many things he loved about me. It felt refreshing.

My Dad was the main culprit for both these things. People would comment, he would then relay them to me, or make me feel worse if I'd been present whilst comments were being made. He made me feel absolutely awful, instead of having my back and making me feel loved, secure etc.

Yep big nose and frizzy hair (home perms 😩)

I got quite pretty between 17-32 so it eased off a bit and now I'm old no body says anything.

The gawkiest of gawky teenagers here. The bullying and cruel comments I got were constant and I remember all of them. It lasted for years. The comments from my first boyfriend’s friends were particularly hard to take. Still, I ‘blossomed’ and have bags of confidence now. My education and success has helped. Took a long time and it does often let me down and I revert back to being that awkward and ‘ugly’ child.

The gawkiest of gawky teenagers here. The bullying and cruel comments I got were constant and I remember all of them. It lasted for years. The comments from my first boyfriend’s friends were particularly hard to take. Still, I ‘blossomed’ and have bags of confidence now. My education and success has helped. Took a long time and it does often let me down and I revert back to being that awkward and ‘ugly’ child.

Yeah I got called ugly a lot by boys at secondary school so I learned early in life that I was never going to turn heads. I did have a couple of boyfriends in college but they were always looking at other women so that kind of reiterated what I’d been taught to believe about myself. Dh didn’t criticise my looks but always bought magazines like Loaded and FHM and looked at porn which kind of had the same effect on my self esteem. I’ve never really been at peace with how I look, I have a big nose and prominent teeth. Would love to be beautiful and have men be crazy about me but it’s not to be. I just try to be a good person and enjoy the odd crush now and then.

My mother is the worst culprit for this. She loves to criticise people. She made me feel terrible about the way I looked when I was a child, made me go to weight watchers as a young teen, ridiculed me in front of family and friends for the way I looked. As a result I've had weight issues all my life and have always been uncomfortable in my own skin. My mum still delights in critisising people and it sets my teeth on edge when she does it. It's like a hobby for her. I refuse to partake in this sport with her and instead find something complimentary to say about the person. It really irritates her.

I've made it a point to not do this to my children. I tell them they are beautiful every day.

There are some heartbreaking stories here. Some people can be so nasty, and unfortunately, as their cruel remarks are made at a time when children/teens are still trying to develop their sense of “self”, the damage often lasts a lifetime.

My grandfather always called me “Beefy”. I wasn’t overweight at all as a child, just tall for my age with a bigger frame than my younger cousin. I spent my childhood, teens and twenties feeling like a clumsy cart horse, even when I became extremely thin.

Now I’m middle-aged and definitely carrying a bit of extra weight, but I feel far more confident than I ever did when I was young, thanks mostly to my lovely late DH who always paid me compliments and helped me overcome so many of my insecurities.

I was about 5. My mother told me I was very plain and should never forget that. I didn’t.

Yep and still get the same comments and jokes from adults.

My Mother always had a problem with my skin tone which she often described as ‘dirty’. She used to ask if I’d washed my neck for example because it looked filthy but it was literally just my skin. My Dad is French and Jewish and I inherited his skin colour, it’s like an olive tone I guess but my Mum always thought it looked dirty and made me look sick.

She’s always been obsessed with her own weight for as long as I can remember, constantly on and off diet plans and has paid a fortune over the years to sign up to various different ones. She would try and project this anxiety onto me making sure to tell me if she thought I was gaining weight, making a big deal of my ‘puppy fat’ during puberty etc. She’s still the same now, I’ve just lost almost 4 stone since January and she’s commented on how I’m too skinny and have lost my bum. I’m a healthy weight now and feel great.

The thing that stands out most when reading this thread is how those comments have never left us.
My nose is big. I've had "You'd be alright if your nose wasn't like that." "At least I don't look like a witch." I remember one night on a night out a lad trying to impress a group of pretty girls shouted in my face "Nice nose" and burst out laughing, looking at those girls expecting them too to join in. They didn't and I'm forever grateful to them for that. On another night out a lad came up to me and said "I just have to say, you look disgusting." I remember every horrible thing said to me. I suffer with my mental health and when I'm at my lowest replay them all in my mind.
I've spent my whole life not standing up for myself because I know that insult will be the first thing I hear. I've never had confidence or self esteem. I've ended up in bad relationships with physically and emotionally abusive men and I think that is mainly due to my lack of self worth. I hate looking at myself in the mirror and rarely go out because I don't want anyone else to look at me either.
I'd say my nose has wrecked my life but really it's the arseholes who thought they had a right to say such horrible things to me who have done that. Still, if I could afford it I'd change it but that would be for me not for anyone else.

Yes. With a big forehead it's like having a target on your back.

I still don't have a fringe 😂

When I was 17 dm said to me “it’s a shame you’re so ugly”.
I think she was trying to shame me into not picking my spots. Still not an appropriate thing to say to a shy, bookish teenager. I was spotty, wore glasses, mad curly hair. I didn’t need reminding!