Friend upset I stopped her from watching me

[WhatWouldHillaryDo]

My first post, though been here years. I can be a bit of a push over with some friends. I let a lot of stuff slide rather than be confrontational so I think maybe in this situation my friend wasn’t expecting my reaction and has overreacted. Interested to hear replies.

Anyway, I sometimes pop in to friend’s house to feed her pets when she’s away for a night or two. She has two lovely cats and I enjoy going round and fussing them. All good, no issues with helping out. But the other week she mentioned something in passing that seemed odd - she said she sometimes speaks to her cats when she’s away. Well, after some gentle questioning, it seems she has a camera in her home by the cat bowls so she can see and talk to her pets. But she didn’t tell me this and I don’t think was going to either. She seemed a bit sheepish when I asked, like I’d caught her out.

Now, before she mentioned the webcam, i’d agreed to go round last weekend and feed the girls. Evening and morning, I was happy to. But I didn’t feel comfortable knowing I was being watched, so I spotted the camera and blocked the view while I was there, and unblocked it when I left. Now friend is upset with me and said she can’t understand what the big deal is and I should have said if I didn’t want to be watched so she could find someone else to feed the cats.

I feel like I’m going mad. Surely it’s my choice to be watched or not. I didn’t think I needed to let her know upfront. The more I think about it, the more annoyed I’m getting and I just need a sanity check.

I've always thought that a good rule to follow when in someone else's home on my own (eg when babysitting, or having been directed upstairs to use the loo) is to behave as if the home owner were there with me (though not actually in the loo, obviously!). In other words, don't do anything that you would not do if you were being watched.

So, personally I would have no problem with an actual camera being there. I do however think that the home owner should let the visitor know that there are cameras in the house, as a) it's polite to inform, and b) it avoids the possibility of the visitor jumping to the conclusion that the camera is deliberately secret and is there to "catch them out" in some way because they are suspected to be untrustworthy.

For those who don't like the fact that some of us have cameras, they're there for the security of our homes, belongings and anyone who is legitimately there, plus to prove if anyone uninvited comes in or if anything illegal happens inside our homes.
My house did have signs outside stating that we had cctv, as there should be if you have cameras but I shouldn't be expected to specifically tell anyone who comes in, they should know from the signage.
At the end of the day, if you don't like the fact someone has cameras, you don't have to go in their homes.
Also, as far as someone said about boarding animals whilst you're away, it gets rather expensive (even for a 3 day emergency) and difficult to find somewhere to take 8 cats, 4 dogs, 15 large birds and that's not evementioning the rabbits, chickens etc. My son (13) was at home and was feeding the animals, his father was there to look after him, nothing more, and certainly not to be rifling through our belongings and stealing from us!

In this case there wasn't any signage, so the OP had no chance of knowing.

At the end of the day, if you don't like the fact someone has cameras, you don't have to go in their homes. Again, the OP didn't know there was a camera, so she didn't have this choice.

"For those who don't like the fact that some of us have cameras, they're there for the security of our homes, belongings and anyone who is legitimately there, plus to prove if anyone uninvited comes in or if anything illegal happens inside our homes.
My house did have signs outside stating that we had cctv, as there should be if you have cameras but I shouldn't be expected to specifically tell anyone who comes in, they should know from the signage.
At the end of the day, if you don't like the fact someone has cameras, you don't have to go in their homes."

Your comment is totally irrelevant. There were NO SIGNS. OP was NOT told she would be filmed and had NO CHANCE to not come in because she would be filmed.